She glanced helplessly back at Caleb, not even knowing what to say to him, how to respond to his impassioned statement. Did he merely need absolution for what he considered his sin against her? Was it guilt driving him?
“I won’t push you, Ramie,” Caleb said in a low tone. “I just want the chance to prove to you that we may well have something worth exploring. We weren’t brought together by the best of circumstances, but it doesn’t mean that the future isn’t what we make it.”
“I’m broken,” she choked out. “On the inside. I’m broken where it counts. I’m not even sure I’m capable of love or even like. I have no concept of what lovers do. How they’re supposed to act. All I’ve ever known is violence and death. Those are things I understand. Everything else? A normal life, a normal relationship? I can’t give you those things. And it’s not that I don’t want to. God, I’d give anything to be able to enjoy what everyone else takes for granted. Happiness, love, relationships, dating, for God’s sake. I don’t know how to act in social or intimate situations. Why the hell would you sign up for that?”
He moved from his seat and knelt down in front of her so they were eye level. Then he simply curled his hand around her nape and pulled her toward him, his lips pressing against hers.
It was an electric shock to her system. She was assailed by desire, lust, all the things she’d never before experienced. It was overwhelming. She had no idea what she was supposed to do in return.
It turned out she didn’t need to know. Caleb took over, brushing his tongue over her lips, coaxing them to open. When they did, his tongue flitted inside, sliding erotically over hers.
He fed hungrily at her mouth, deepening the kiss until she couldn’t breathe. She put her hands on his chest, intending to push him away, but instead they remained there, her palms against the muscled wall.
Heat scorched her hands, the very hands she used to tap into the minds of others. But all she felt was answering desire—and determination—that she not push him away. Her fingers flexed, pressing into the solid wall of flesh. Never had she been able to enjoy something as simple as touching another person.
She found herself caressing him in light flutters with her fingertips. He tightened beneath her fingers, telling her without words that he was enjoying her touch every bit as much as she was enjoying touching him.
She should push him away. He was dangerous to her. She knew it instantly. That he had the power to connect to her in a way no one had ever been able to before. The question was, did she want him to? Did she want a chance at normalcy? Things that she’d always been denied? Desire. Sex. Flirting. Intimacy. Fun.
But no matter what her mind told her, her heart was saying something else entirely. Instead of pushing him away and severing the ever growing bond between them, she leaned farther into him and tentatively responded to the brush of his tongue with her own.
When he finally pulled away, his eyes were half-lidded and glowing with desire. She immediately felt bereft of his touch, the warmth that had held her in its embrace disappearing, replaced by the chill of loneliness. Something that to now had never bothered her. She’d lived and survived in isolation her entire life. And now Caleb had her wondering for the first time what other alternatives were possible.
He gently cupped her chin, forcing her gaze to his. His eyes burned with sincerity, truth a warm light in them.
“Why don’t you let me worry about what I’m signing up for,” he said, determination etched in his every feature. “I’m a big boy. I can take a hell of a lot when it’s something I want.”
She studied him, not responding to his impassioned statement. She felt as though she were balancing on a high wire and one wrong step and she’d plummet thousands of feet to the ground. Dizziness assailed her and she sucked in her breath, knowing that she had to tread very carefully.
“And what exactly do you want?” she whispered.
“You, Ramie. I want you.”
ELEVEN
RAMIE still wasn’t used to warmer climates. It baffled her that it was still so hot in Oklahoma in October. She’d always chosen cooler, dryer areas. Colorado had been nice even if she’d known she couldn’t have sustained the winter in the ramshackle cabin she’d stayed in when Caleb had unearthed her.
So she was unprepared for the humidity when Caleb ushered her from the plane just outside of Houston. It hit her like a freight train, oppressive, and made it difficult for her to breathe.
When she paused, just trying to suck in a more steadying breath, Caleb also stopped, his hand firmly curled around her arm. He looked at her in concern.
“What’s wrong?” he demanded.
She gave him a weak smile. “It’s October.”
His expression grew puzzled and then more concern entered his blue eyes. He likely thought her last link to sanity had finally snapped.
“It should be cooler,” she continued, still a little dizzy from the humidity. “It’s hard to breathe here.”
“We should get into the car,” he said, ignoring her pithy comments on the weather. “You’re too exposed here.”
He urged her forward and thankfully as soon as she slid into the car, much cooler, dryer air washed over her. The air-conditioning was on full blast and she sighed audibly in relief.
Caleb landed beside her, giving the order to his driver as soon as his door was shut. She stared out the window as they pulled away, looking at her surroundings but not really seeing them. She listened as Caleb made several calls, one obviously to one of his brothers, but she tuned even that out.