“Don’t you ever call yourself an easy lay,” he ground out.
She shrugged. “What else would you call someone who all but forced you to have sex with her?”
Sarcastic and acerbic. It was always how she’d dealt with situations that left her at a disadvantage.
“I have a lot I want to say to you, Nikki, but damn if I’m going to do it when you won’t remember it the next morning. So what I’m going to do is get you undressed and in bed. But tomorrow? We’re going to talk, and I don’t give a damn if you have the worst hangover in history. It won’t get you out of this.” She gave him a faint smile. “Sometimes when you talk to me, it’s almost like I belong to you. It’s nice.” Then her smile faded. “But I’ll never belong to you. I don’t belong to anyone.”
She closed her eyes but not before he saw the renewal of moisture.
His chest heavy and aching, he picked her up again and carried her into the bedroom.
She didn’t stir as he undressed her then tucked her carefully into bed.
For a long moment he stood at her side, staring down at her in confusion. She spoke of belonging to him, of wanting to belong to him, as though she held deeper feelings, beyond a crush or sexual attraction.
Had he gotten her intentions wrong all along? Was the brazen, sex-kitten act just a cover-up for deep-seeded insecurities? Okay obviously the sex-kitten act was a farce.
She saved herself for you.
If it were any other woman, he’d read a lot into that fact, but with Nikki, he’d never been sure of anything. She moved too fast, made his head spin and generally kept him in a state of befuddlement.
What if she did want more? What if it wasn’t all a game? What if he’d f**ked it all up before he realized he’d even had a chance?
He lowered his head and kissed her temple, letting his lips linger there for a long moment.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “So damn sorry.”
After touching her cheek one last time, he turned and walked out of the bedroom toward the living room. He’d crash on the couch, and then tomorrow he’d find out what the hell had prompted tonight’s uncharacteristic drunken binge.
Even though he had a bad feeling he knew.
Chapter Six
Nikki woke to a pounding head and a tongue that was dry and swollen, sticking to the roof of her mouth like fly paper. She was na**d. In her bed.
Shame crowded into her mind until she wanted to scream. So much for not being her mother’s daughter.
She fought to try and remember what happened last night. She remembered drinking too much and having to force herself to swallow the nasty crap. The rest of the evening was fuzzy, though she did remember being pulled off the bar by a guy she’d never seen before.
Fear took hold. Please, please don’t let her have had a one night stand with him.
She scrambled out of bed, inspecting it for signs that she hadn’t been alone in it. Her stomach lurched as she hurriedly dressed, and she had to breathe deeply to keep from having to hang her head over a toilet.
She brushed her teeth then doused her face with water until some of the cobwebs cleared. Then she ventured out of her bedroom, afraid of what she might find in the living room.
When she saw J.T. sitting on the couch, TV remote in hand, she sagged in relief. No matter what he might think of her, he wouldn’t have allowed anything to happen to her.
He turned to stare at her, his expression indecipherable. Unable to hold his gaze, she ducked and headed for the kitchen.
“Oh no you don’t,” J.T. said as he strode after her.
He touched her shoulder then let his fingers slide over her skin before turning her around to face him.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, though his expression told her he knew damn well how she felt.
“Like shit,” she said bluntly.
He nodded. “I’m not surprised. That was one hell of a drunk you threw last night.
Want to tell me what’s going on?”
She almost laughed. Would have if it wouldn’t have split her head wide open. She shrugged indifferently. “Nothing’s going on. Just decided to give the public what they expect.”
His eyes glittered dangerously. “And what do they expect, Nikki?” She shrugged again, and his hand tightened on her shoulder. She was pissing him off.
Not that it was anything new.
“Drunken whore. Like mother, like daughter.” She would have shrugged again, but his grip prevented her.
He cursed under his breath, but the words still stung her ears. “You’re not a whore or a drunk, Nikki. Why the f**k would you want people to think you are?” She lifted a brow and stared straight back at him. “What else would you call a quick fuck?”
J.T.’s face darkened in fury. He spun her around and all but shoved her out of the kitchen and back into the living room. He sat her on the couch and plopped down beside her.
“Cut the crap, Nikki. You were a virgin. I was your first.” She couldn’t breathe. It hurt too much. She hadn’t wanted him to know, hadn’t wanted him to have that kind of power over her.
Then he cupped her cheek, his touch so gentle, she wanted to cry. He nudged at her chin until she was forced to meet his gaze.
“I hurt you, honey, and I’m so damn sorry. It shouldn’t have been like that. It should have been special, not a quickie on my office desk.”
“It was my choice,” she said defiantly.
“But why was I your choice?”
She refused to look at him even though he held her chin as he stared at her.
“Nikki, look at me,” he ordered.
She let her gaze flicker back to him. “Does it matter? I didn’t even think you’d know. And who would believe I was a virgin anyway?”
“I would,” he said quietly. “And damn it, Nikki, you should have told me. I could have hurt you badly. If it had been someone else, someone who didn’t have your pleasure or best interests at heart, it could have been a lot worse.”
“But it wasn’t,” she said. “Everything was just fine. My first time was all I could hope for, and now I no longer have my pesky virginity to worry about. I can lose the hang-ups over who the first guy will be and go out and have fun.” J.T. frowned, and he gripped her shoulders and shook her slightly. “Can you be serious for two seconds here? This isn’t a game. I know damn well you don’t take sex that lightly. Why are you acting so goddamn flip?” Pain centered in her chest and spread at an alarming rate. Rose up her throat until she couldn’t breathe. “I was being serious,” she whispered. “There was only one man I wanted. I thought…I thought he would be different than all the others. I thought he could see past who my mother was and see me. But in the end, I was just another quick fuck.
Nobody important. Certainly no one he’d ever settle down with.” J.T. looked as though she’d just slapped him. He released her chin and stared at her with a combination of shock and horror. And she hadn’t thought she could hurt any more than she already did.
She rose abruptly from the couch, folding her arms protectively across her middle.
“I want you to leave, J.T. We have nothing more to say to each other. You won’t have to worry. I’ve gotten the message. I won’t be stalking you anymore.” He was on his feet in two seconds, pressing into her space. She backed warily away.
“Now you wait just a damn minute, Nikki,” he growled.
They were interrupted by the doorbell. She turned swiftly to answer it, relieved to be saved the confrontation. What else was there to be said? He’d made his point. She got it.
No need to beat her over the head.
She yanked open the front door to see Zane standing there, hands shoved into his pockets.
“Hey, Nikki,” he said in a gentle voice. “I heard you had a rough night.” To her eternal disgust, she burst into tears.
Zane pulled her into his arms. “Hey now, it’s okay. I’ll take you out to the ranch.
Jasmine was worried about you.”
She nodded against his chest.
“J.T. still here?” he asked.
She pulled away and scrubbed at her face. She started to ask how he knew J.T. was here, but then she looked beyond him to see the squad car in her drive. Great. Now the whole damn town would know he’d stayed over. Not that she gave a shit, but J.T.’s reputation would suffer, no doubt.
She turned in time to see J.T. walk up behind her. “You should get your car out of my driveway,” she said acidly. “Whatever will people think? You can’t have everyone thinking you’ve been a round with the town whore.” J.T.’s face whitened, and anger glittered in his dark eyes. “That’s enough, Nikki.” She turned back to Zane. “Can we go?” she pleaded. She didn’t want to stay here another minute.
“Sure,” Zane said. “Go on and get in the truck.”
“Wait a minute. You’re not going anywhere,” J.T. said in a frustrated voice. “We’ve got a lot to talk about.”
She ignored him and walked at a fast clip out to Zane’s truck. As she got in, she could see the two men talking and then J.T.’s nod. A few seconds later, Zane slid into the driver’s seat and started the engine.
He gave her a look of sympathy then reached over to squeeze her hand. “It’ll be okay, Nikki. You can stay out at the ranch as long as you need to.”
“Thanks, but there’s no need,” she murmured. “I’m leaving Barley.”
Chapter Seven
J.T. sat in his office, his sweltering office, head in his hands, elbows propped on his desk. Nikki had been holed up at the Sweetwater Ranch for two days, and when he’d finally gotten tired of getting the runaround on the phone, he’d driven out, only for Jasmine to refuse him entry. He was seriously tempted to go out with a warrant. But then he’d piss off Seth and Zane and ruin a perfectly good friendship. His only hope was that Nikki would eventually calm down and have a rational conversation with him.
His cell phone rang, and he reached for it, irritated by the hope that it was Nikki. He frowned when he saw an unfamiliar number on the LCD screen. Flipping it open, he brought it to his ear and uttered a brisk hello.
“J.T., it’s Lucas. We need to talk, man.”
Fuck.
He sucked in a deep breath. “Hey, man,” he greeted, trying to keep his voice light and unaffected. “What’s up?”
“I need you to tell me what the f**k is going on with Nikki,” Lucas said, cutting straight to the point. “She said she’s leaving Barley. For good.” J.T.’s stomach bottomed out. “What?”
“You mean you didn’t know? I thought you were keeping an eye on her for me.
She’s upset, and I don’t know what the f**k is going on. All I got out of her is that she’s packing up and going. I tried to get her to agree to wait until I could get leave so I could at least help her and find out what the f**k happened, but she’s determined to haul ass out of there as soon as possible. I need you to sit on her, J.T. I don’t want her going anywhere until I can get there.”
J.T. groaned. Christ. He was going to have to come clean with Lucas. No way he could keep his best friend from finding out what happened.
“What aren’t you telling me?” Lucas demanded when a long silence ensued.
J.T. sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“If it involves Nikki, I doubt it’s simple,” Lucas growled. “Cut the shit and tell me what’s going on.”
“I think I’m in love with her,” J.T. said in a low voice. And then he nearly let his head drop to the desk. What a dumbass. You didn’t go around spouting shit like that out of the blue. And where the hell had it come from anyway? Was he in love with Nikki?
Haven’t you always been, you dumb shit?
Lucas’s silence was starting to unnerve J.T. He was probably coming up with a list of classified methods of torturing J.T.
“What do you mean you think? ” Lucas snarled. “Either you are or you aren’t. Are you the reason she’s out at the Morgans’ crying her eyes out?” Crying? Shit. Nikki didn’t cry. Or at least she never had before. She had perfected her you-can’t-hurt-me exterior. It seemed only J.T. had the power to upset her so badly.
“It’s…complicated,” J.T. murmured.
“Hell yes it’s complicated,” Lucas yelled into the phone. “What the f**k have you done? I trusted you, man. I asked you to look after her, not f**k around with her emotions. I tell you what. You stay the f**k away from her. I’ll handle this. I’ll get there even if I have to go AWOL. You just stay the hell away from her.” J.T. gripped the phone in his hand. No, he’d spent too much time away from her as it was. That had been his mistake. Trying to avoid her, trying to deny the attraction between them. In doing so, he’d hurt her.
“No, Lucas. I’ll handle this,” J.T. said firmly.
He hung up with Lucas cursing in his ear and threatening fourteen kinds of bodily harm. J.T. took a deep breath as he stood. First he needed to go take a shower. He smelled like a goat and looked like he’d gone three rounds with a Sumo wrestler.
On his way out the door, he opened his cell phone to call Seth. He needed to make damn sure Nikki would still be there when he got out to the ranch. He also needed to make sure Seth knew he wasn’t going away this time. He’d arrest the whole damn household if he had to.
***
Nikki brushed out her long hair then pulled it back into a ponytail. It looked odd without the pink stripe. She’d gotten used to it, even a little attached to it. She shrugged.
It had been fun, and she’d done it to get a reaction out of J.T. There didn’t seem to be a point anymore.