“My God! Why didn’t your father turn the leader in?”
“He did, within the clan, but the two men were nowhere to be found and the leader claimed he had nothing to do with it. He claimed that the two were just angry about the town getting in the way of the bypass and took matters into their own hands.”
“But your father knew differently.”
“Yes and he wouldn’t let it go. He appealed to the dragon council, tried to give his side of the story about how he had personally heard the men discussing what had happened with the leader had him ostracized, along with my mother and siblings, but Mom refused to go with my father. She blamed him for our being sent away and when I refused to go with her, she left me behind.”
“And your father? Why didn’t you go with him?”
“Originally, I wasn’t allowed. The council took him in the middle of the night and didn’t allow him to come back. By the time my mother left, I couldn’t find him.”
“And your mother and siblings?”
“I know where they are. I know who they are. I tried to make contact once and they wanted nothing to do with me.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. It was if I had once forsaken then and that was the end of it for them.”
“Even your mother?”
“Yes. You have to remember that this is a woman who turned her back on the man she loved years before and allowed one of her children to stay behind.”
“Still, people have regrets. I would have thought . . .” his voice trailed off. “I’m sorry. And your father, have you still been unable to find him?”
“Yes. I suspect his banishment was a bit more than that. After all, a leader who would allow an entire village to be murdered wouldn’t chance the trouble maker that had tried to call him to task for it anywhere near someone that might actually listen to him.”
“You think he had him killed?”
“I’m fairly certain of it now. In all the time I spent looking for him, I’ve never found a trace of him anywhere.”
He nodded solemnly, looking away for a moment before speaking. Finally, he spoke in a low voice.
“We’re the same, in some ways. I still have my parents, but might as well be a stranger. They much rather be jet setting around the globe or out at parties with friends than rearing a child. Some people weren’t meant to be parents.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I’ve come to accept it. Neither of my parents had wanted children. My mother got pregnant with me before they were married. My father married her, as was expected, but he resented it. He believed that she trapped him into it. She blamed me for ruining her figure and her life, claiming it was an accident. She had her tubes tied so that she never made another mistake.”
“That’s horrible. They told you that?”
“Not entirely. I overheard part of it one night when they were arguing, but it was evident in the way both of them treated me. I just didn’t understand why until I eavesdropped on them one night when I was supposed to be in bed.”
“How old were you?”
“Thirteen.”
“Seems we both learned a lot of unfortunate things at that age.”
“That we did, but we turned out okay, didn’t we?”
“Mostly. I feel fairly well adjusted. I’ve not gone on any killing sprees or anything. My history did sort of kill my desire to have a family of my own, so we have that in common.”
“Yes, we do. More wine?”
“That would be great,” she replied, passing her glass to him.
He split the last of the wine between them and handed her glass back to her. They each sat there sipping for a moment, lost in their own thoughts. Yakov finally broke the silence.
“I know I put up a tough exterior, but I’m not as cold as I seem.”
“I never said you were cold.”
“I know you didn’t, but I know I come across that way. I suppose I do it purposely. It gets lonely, but the alternative just gets far too complicated.”
“Have you ever been in a relationship?”
“Once. I gave it a shot. She tried to get inside my head, inside my heart. I bolted.”
“What happened to her?”
He looked incredibly sad, his eyes cast downward for a moment before looking back up at her.
“She married someone who could make her happy.”
“Regrets?”
“No. I’d have never treated her right. I enjoyed her company, but I didn’t love her. I didn’t know how to love her. I was just going through the motions.”
“You can’t make yourself love someone.”
“Seems I can’t make myself love anyone.”
She resisted the urge to feed those words that she so often heard other people say to her back to him. Stuff like “when the right one comes along” and “someone will change your mind one day”. Instead, she took another sip of her wine and nodded knowingly.