For the four-hundredth time, I wished Jeff was a different kind of animal. But he couldn’t change who he was any more than I could change myself, put myself into a different family, or make the Keenes average.
Jeff was not the point, I reminded myself, and made myself focus on Patrick. I’d made a commitment to see this through, so it deserved my full attention.
I looked back at Patrick. “What about you? Do you want this whole potential thing?”
“I want a connection. I want my family to be happy.” He fidgeted with a gold signet ring on his right hand, which bore a complicate crest. “My father’s getting older. He’s not well.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Shifters were generally a healthy bunch; transforming into animal form cured most things that ailed our human forms. But animals became ill, too, and there was no easy cure for that.
“I guess that adds to the pressure to find someone.”
Patrick laughed mirthlessly. “That’s one way to put it. If I hear the word ‘legacy’ one more time, I’ll probably punch someone.”
“I’ve done that.”
He looked at me with amusement. “Really?”
“Yep.” I crossed one leg over the other, kicked the top one. It was a habit usually caused by too much caffeine. Today, I could blame old-fashioned nerves.
“Robin Swift sent a friend of his family.” Robin was Apex of the Western Pack. “Took me to dinner at the most expensive restaurant in Chicago—or so he told me. Six or seven times. And while we’re there, gave me a lecture about respecting legacies.”
“And you punched him in the restaurant?”
I grinned. “No, I punched him when he told me my only purpose was to bear his children and then stuck a hand up my shirt.”
Patrick grinned. “You land the punch?”
“Broke his nose.”
“Good girl.”
We slowed, and I looked up to see the familiar metal plaque on the side of the road. Tom turned the car into the short drive, which dead-ended at a chain link fence.
“What now?” Patrick asked.
“Still a surprise,” I said, climbing out of the car when Tom opened the door. Patrick offered whispered instructions to Tom, then followed me through the open gate. We crunched through snow across the small field, where a vine-covered chimney stood sentinel, the only part of the building still standing.
Hands in his pockets, Patrick stared up at the chimney. “What was this place?”
“A Jesuit mission, then a church. Once upon a time, at least.”
He ran fingers over the rough stone, something I’d done a dozen times. “How’d you find it?”
“Full moon,” I confessed with a smile. “I couldn’t sleep, so I ran until I couldn’t run anymore. I ended up here.”
“There’s a lot of history here,” Patrick said, glancing around. “A lot of power.”
I nodded. “Sometimes I wondered if I found it, or it found me. But this actually isn’t what I wanted to show you. This way.”
He fell into step behind me, and we walked in silence up the small rise on the other end of the field. By the time we reached the top, I was finally warm.
“This is why we’re here,” I said when he stepped beside me, and I heard the sharp intake of breath.
Chicago lay in front of us like a blanket of light, buildings rising across the horizon like a heartbeat had been charted across the sky.
Memphis would always be home to me, but I certainly understood the appeal of the Windy City. Architecture, food, politics. It was an important part of the building of America, even if it still bore the scars.
“This is an impressive view.”
“Yeah, I like it. And I like Chicago. It’s not home—not yet—but I like it.”
“Lot of energy,” Patrick said.
“Yes,” I agreed. “There is. You’re from Wisconsin?”
He nodded. “The family’s from Wausau, middle of the state. Most of them still live there. I’ve got a cabin on the lake north of Sheboygan. It’s quiet, especially in winter. No tourists. Speaking of tourists, are many people coming in tomorrow for the initiation?”
The abrupt change of conversation had me looking back at him, wondering about his motive. But if he was digging for details about Connor or the event, his body didn’t give it away. His gaze was still on the horizon.
Still, I chose my words carefully. “Mostly close friends and family.”
“The ceremony will be at a church?”
“St. Bridget’s.” The location wasn’t a secret, especially since Gabriel had already invited him. “It’s in Ukrainian Village.” We hadn’t chosen the spot because of the religious affiliation, but because it was in the heart of our favorite neighborhood, and a common location for Pack meetings. We had a connection to it.
He nodded, but I could tell the answer hadn’t satisfied him.
“Does it bother you that he gets the crown? Instead of you, I mean?”
I guess that’s what had really been on his mind. “No,” I said. “Should it?”
He lifted his hands again. “No offense meant. I just think, if it had been me, I’d be pissed. My chance being taken away. You don’t have to respond to that. And I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m genuinely curious.”
He was silent for a moment, and when I looked back at him, found him frowning at the skyline.
“I’m in a completely different situation,” he said. “My life, like yours, has been built around family, but the dynamics are different. You’re part of the Apex’s family. For the rest of us, that’s a big deal. You’re the big deal. So I just wonder if someone else being handed the crown feels like a big deal.”
It was a big deal. But not the way he meant.
It was a big deal that Tanya and Gabriel, after several years and more mourning than I’d have wished on anyone, had gotten pregnant. A big deal that Connor had been safely born after a difficult pregnancy. A big deal that I had a healthy and happy nephew.
“Family is family,” I simply said. “And Pack is Pack.”
An hour later, the SUV pulled up to the house again.
Patrick looked at me. “I enjoyed meeting you, Fallon. I’ll be staying at the Hotel Meridian. They’ve got a fantastic bar, and I’d love to invite you for a drink.”
“I don’t think I’m up for that tonight, with the initiation tomorrow. But thank you for the offer.”