“Go get changed,” Coach tells me. “We’ll do warmups, and then you can run through the routines with the team.”Tonight, at dinner, I eat everything on my plate. My mom looks like she’s about to throw a victory party, and admittedly, there’s an all-around good energy hovering in the air. Landon is here too, and it’s strange how normal it feels to have him at the dinner table every night. I’m still curious why his mom doesn’t seem to care, but I’m too wary to poke at those types of intimate questions. He seems to understand I’m thinking about him, smirking at me as Theo peppers him with questions about his future plans.
“I haven’t decided yet,” he answers unapologetically. “I’ve been working most of my life. I think what I really want to do after I graduate is take a break. Travel, maybe. Then I’ll figure out the rest as I go.”
“How very bohemian of you,” I remark dryly.
He shoots me a look that feels like a spanking. Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with his plan. But I don’t necessarily like the idea of him traveling around the world to amazing places with some random beautiful women on his arm. Because why wouldn’t it be that way?
As if he can sense my irrational jealousy, his hand slides up beneath the hem of my skirt, cupping me between my thighs. I nearly choke on my water, and he grins, telling me I should be more careful.
“Well, I think it’s a great idea.” Mom adds another heaping of vegetables to his plate. “You deserve a break. And anyone who pretends to have it all figured out at eighteen is only kidding themselves.”
Landon toys with me through the thin cotton fabric of my underwear, rubbing his fingers against the wetness that’s already gathered there. My face feels hot, and I’m convinced everyone can see me about to lose it. Then to my dismay, he drags his hand away and goes about eating his dinner with an infuriating smirk that tells me he’s quite pleased with himself.
I slip my hand beneath the table and slowly graze the length of his thigh until my fingers are brushing over the warm, hard bulge in his jeans. Landon pauses mid-chew to look over at me with smoldering eyes, but I turn my attention away from him as Theo speaks.
“What about you, Kail? Any thoughts on choosing a college yet?”
“I don’t know.” I squeeze Landon’s jean clad erection in my grasp and smile when he reaches beneath the table to pry me off. He isn’t the only one who can play dirty. “Maybe I’ll be a rebel and take a gap year too.”
It’s a lie because I do know what I want, but I’m not brave enough to say it out loud just yet. Regardless, my mom nods along in agreement. She isn’t the sort to pressure me into having everything mapped out right now. She had me when she was only eighteen and went to school later, so she’s okay with me taking some time to figure out who I am. But the truth is, my dream is a simple one. Sometimes, I think, maybe too simple. It’s hard not to feel pressure when most of my classmates will do huge things with their lives. It’s no secret that BMA churns out record numbers of elite professionals. But I just want to teach the thing I’m passionate about. I want to open a dance studio of my own.
“I have a hunch Kail’s going to do what she loves best,” Mom says. “But no pressure. Whatever you decide, we will support your dream.”
“Thanks, Mama.” I beam, but it’s hard not to miss the sadness in Landon’s eyes.
I know I’m lucky to have a mother who would love me no matter what I choose to be. She’s proud of me for the little things, and not everyone has that. It makes me think of Courtney and the fact that her parents are always pressuring her to be what they want. They are really hard on her, and I think that’s why she acts as though she just doesn’t care about anything.
I’ve been a shitty friend to her, and I need to fix that. But I also need to figure out what’s going on with Landon and his mom because I’m sensing things aren’t okay in that department either. Not that it’s any of my business.
“Thanks for dinner, Mrs. Grant.” Landon takes his plate and mine to the sink. “It was amazing, like always.”
“I’m just glad you could be here.” My mom joins him in the kitchen and envelops him in a hug, which seems to catch him off guard. The tiny woman clinging to his huge frame would be almost comical if it weren’t for the frozen expression on his face as his arms hang limply at his sides. It’s the strangest reaction. Doesn’t his mom ever hug him?