“What do you mean?”
Angling his body sideways, he placed a blunt fingertip against a picture. It was of Zoe and me, freshman homecoming. “I saw this nearly four years ago. It had only been a few months, maybe four, since … since you’d become Evie. I’d never seen you in a dress before then. I thought … you were so pretty.”
I’d been wearing a deep purple dress with an empire waist, and I wasn’t sure if I’d looked pretty in it. However, I did look like someone had thrown glitter up all over me.
But Luc had thought I looked pretty, and despite everything, that brought a small smile to my lips.
“And this one? Halloween. Three years ago.” He pointed to a picture of me with Heidi and Zoe as my breath caught. He knew the exact year. We were dressed as the Heathers from the movie Heathers. “Such a dark costume. I loved it. And this one? The first time I saw you in a pic with James, I…”
“What?”
Luc shook his head. “I thought he was your boyfriend.”
“James? What?” I laughed softly. “It’s not like that; it’s never been like that with us.”
“I know. Zoe said the same thing.”
Something occurred to me. “Did you see pictures of Brandon and me?”
“I did. You could’ve done better.”
I swallowed another laugh, mainly because that was true considering his anti-Luxen rhetoric. God, if he only knew what April was.
Luc’s back was to me again. “Did you love him?”
My eyes widened as I felt my cheeks flush. “I … I think I did at first. I mean, he was my first real boyfriend.”
His shoulders seemed to tense. “You think? Then that means you didn’t?”
“I thought I did for, like, a hot second, but I didn’t.” Talking about my ex with Luc was weird. “I liked him, but it always felt like it should’ve been more.” I clutched the pillow. “So, you saw most of them in real time?”
“I got to watch you grow up without you ever knowing.” His arms folded across his chest. “That sounded creepier than I intended.”
“It’s not.” And it wasn’t—not for me, not for us. Out of context, sure. But I knew how he’d seen those photos. Only two other people had copies of them. “Zoe?”
He nodded absently. “I didn’t ask to see them. It felt wrong to do so, and it was already creepy that I was having Zoe keep an eye on you. But I wanted to see them. I wanted to see you, and Zoe sensed that, and she’d periodically show them or make sure they were obviously displayed at her house. Please don’t be mad at her.”
“I won’t.” I probably would’ve done the same thing.
I watched him for a few moments, knowing he had none of his own photos. “Did you ever want that?”
“What?”
“A normal teenage life? Halloween parties and friends? Pictures on corkboards? Instagram accounts?” I laughed a little, and the sound quickly faded. “Going to school. Hating it. Wanting to go to college, but … being afraid of growing up. Did you ever want any of that?”
Luc gradually faced me. “Honest?”
I nodded.
“My answer might … bother you.”
“I’ve seen a lot recently that has bothered me, so I doubt your answer is going to be worse.”
Luc walked over to the other side of the bed and sat. “I never wanted any of that until you had it.” He leaned against the headboard. “There was never a part of me that wanted to go to school or parties until I saw those pictures. Then I did.”
An ache pierced my chest. “You’d be so bored in school.”
“Not if you had been there.” A lopsided grin appeared. “I even considered it once, you know? Enrolling to be close to you. But I couldn’t risk it. So, I stayed in the city, and once they started registering Luxen, forcing them to wear Disablers, I opened Foretoken.”
“And that’s it? You never wanted to do something else?”
“Like what?” He lifted his hand, and the remote flew from the dresser to his hand. “Live like I was a normal teenager?” He handed the remote to me. “No.”
“I meant be someone else. Someone who doesn’t have to worry about people figuring out you’re not exactly human.”
“I don’t worry about that,” he remarked with a lift of his shoulder. “And why would I want to be someone else? I’m awesome.”
“Wow,” I murmured, thinking that he wasn’t exactly being truthful. How could he be when he’d admitted earlier that he was angry all the time?
He grinned, but it quickly faded. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“What?” I almost dropped the remote.
The hue of his eyes deepened. “I know you were crying earlier.”
“How—” I shook my head. “I was in the shower. You could hear me?”
His gaze flickered over me. “I didn’t hear you, Peaches. I could tell when you came out. Your eyes.”