The music changed over to the song she played for me on our first official date at the safe house. Bringing me back to a happier time, hearing her soulful voice belt out the words, pouring her heart out to me. The music wasn’t very loud out on the terrace, but it was enough to hear the melody.
Without thinking twice about it I smiled, gliding my hands to her neck, slowly descending down her body to grab hold of her hand. I stepped back, bringing her with me, instantly twirling her around in a circle like a ballerina. Looking at her in the way I always had. Forgetting for just one second that things weren’t normal and she wasn’t mine.
I pulled her close to my body, bringing her into my chest. Fitting her body perfectly into my hold, I started to slow dance for the very first time in my life.
“What do you want from me?” she whispered, peering into my chest. I lifted her chin so I could once again look into her beautiful eyes.
“Everythin’,” I simply stated, wiping away the tears from her cheeks.
“Noah is inside, Creed. Did you know that? Your brother’s right inside.”
“Don’t mean shit to me, Mia. I wouldn’t give a fuck if he was standin’ behind me with a fuckin’ gun to my back. I needed to see you. Hold you… fuckin’ feel you. And it’s takin’ everythin’ in me, not to fuckin’ kiss you right now and remind you who the fuck you belong to,” I declared.
“I can’t… I don’t even know what to say to you.”
“It don’t matter. I own you, Pippin. I claimed you. Even gave you my cut. Remember the patches? The property of Creed? Any of that a trigger to you? No one can come between our love, not even your fuckin’ mind. I’ll spend the rest of my life remindin’ you what you mean to me if I have to. Ain’t lettin’ you go. I will always, always fuckin’ love you. And no one can take that away from me. Not even you.”
Her lips started quivering, unable to form words. I kissed her forehead, resisting the urge to claim every last inch of skin. I knew I shouldn’t have been there, but I had to see her. It had been way too fucking long.
“Can’t you see, babe… my heart is fuckin’ bleedin’ out for you,” I repeated the same exact words she said to me on Giselle’s balcony all those years ago. When I tried to push her away.
One of my biggest regrets in my life. Everything could have been different if I had just let her in.
“I know you love me, but I don’t remember you, Creed. I know that hurts you, and even though I don’t know who you are… it kills me to be the cause of your pain. How does that make sense? It’s like my mind is playing with my heart and vice versa. There are times where I swear I miss you, but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t know you. How can that be?”
“I’m your lobster.”
She smiled, knowing what I was talking about. At least she remembered that.
“I want to know what happened the night I was shot. Can you tell me? The night I lost my baby girl?”
“Mia… please… not now.”
“I don’t remember being pregnant, but I have this scar. This daily reminder of something I have no recollection of. I feel like I’m the worst human being on the planet. How can a mother forget her own baby?”
“I promise. I swear to ya, I’ll tell you everythin’ one day, but can’t do it right now.”
“Why?”
“Cuz I can’t lose you again.”
“You don’t have me now.”
“You’re in my arms, yeah? I’ll take you any way I fuckin’ can.”
Her face frowned as she pulled away from me. Breaking our connection. Shaking her head. “I wasn’t lying when I told you before. I am falling for Noah. He’s inside waiting for me. He’s the only one who has been there for me this entire time. I can’t do this to him. I won’t. I owe it to our daughter to see where our relationship goes. I’m sorry, Creed, but I’m not yours anymore. I’m his.”
Her words gutted me, leaving me there bleeding as she turned around and started to walk back toward the double doors.
“Pippin,” I called out, stopping her dead in her tracks. I was over to her in three strides, turning her to face me. “I know you’ll remember me, and when ya do, you’ll need this.” I handed her the key to our house, kissing her forehead one last time. Hating the fact that I didn’t know when I would see her again. “Come back to me. I’ll be there waitin’.”
I walked away from her that night, leaving her with my brother. Praying that it wouldn’t be…
Forever.
TWENTY-FOUR
*Mia*
It was the annual Oak Island Fourth of July Fair weekend. Where anyone and everyone came to our small town from all over just to experience the biggest festival around. I remembered it was my favorite time of the year, having fond memories of being at the events with my family. Always kicking Uncle Jacob’s ass at all the carnival games. I was very competitive when it came to winning another huge stuffed animal I didn’t need.
“Jesus Christ, Mia! Can you let me win a game?” Noah chuckled, bringing my attention to him.
“Nope. It’s not in my nature,” I giggled as he came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist to kiss the side of my neck.
“How am I supposed to impress you if you keep kickin’ my ass?”
I turned around to face him, draping my arms around his neck. “I can think of tons of ways.”
“Is that right?”
“Oh yes. I am almost positive there’s one way you can impress me, and it involves your lips.”
His eyes widened, smiling. “Why, Mia Ryder, are you gettin’ ballsy with me?”
“One of us has to.”
Two months had gone by since my prom. School had officially let out, and I was on summer vacation. Ready to let loose before my senior year started in August. Nothing had really changed as far as my memory was concerned, I still attended therapy twice a week like clockwork, no closer to the truth. Noah and mine’s relationship was growing with each passing day, but we had yet to do anything but flirt or cuddle, with some small kisses to the forehead and cheek. That was it. I made it my mission to stop thinking about Creed and focus on Noah. At least he was there, I hadn’t seen or heard from Creed since that night.
Which made it easier to give Noah my undivided attention.
For me at least.
“Pretty girl, I already told ya… ain’t kissin’ you, touchin’ you, doin’ anythin’ wit’ you until I know you’re only mine. But trust me, Mia… it don’t mean I don’t wanna feel you under me again more than anythin’.”
My lips parted. “Noah, I am—”
“You stupid motherfucker!” I heard someone roar from behind me, making me immediately turn around.
Noah instantly placed me behind him. Viciously peering at the man in front of us. I’d never seen that look on his face before, and it actually scared me a little.
“Don’t fuckin’ start, old man. Get on your bike and get the fuck out of our faces!”
The man took a huge gulp of the whiskey bottle firmly in his grasp, pointing it at Noah when he was done. “Come on, Rebel. I know it’s your favorite drink. Where’s my boy, huh? The man I fuckin’ raised. Not this pussy-whipped bitch standin’ in front of me,” he slurred, stumbling all around.
“Who is that?” I asked Noah, looking up at him. His menacing stare never left the man swaying in front of us.
“I’m his father! The man who gave him fuckin’ life. He don’t talk about me? That’s a shame. Spent all my life raisin’ my boys fuckin’ right. And look what happens… they both fall for a two-bit whore who’s spread her legs and has gotten on her fuckin’ knees for both of ‘em.”
I gasped when Noah abruptly pushed me back, getting right up in his father’s face. “You miserable fuck!” He punched him, knocking him sideways into the brick wall. “You don’t ever! EVER! Fuckin’ talk about her like that again! Or I swear I’ll fuckin’ put you to ground!”
“Who the fuck you think you are?!” He went at Noah, but a few other men wear
ing the same cuts he was sporting grabbed ahold of him, tugging him back as he went crazy in their grasps. “You’re nothin’ without me! Nothin’ without this club! I gave you everythin’! Fuckin’ everythin’, you piece of fuckin’ shit! You’ll be back! I’ll make you get on your knees like your fuckin’ bitch and beg me to let you in again! Do you understand me?!”
Noah shook his head, disgusted with the scene unfolding in front of us. He grabbed my hand, pulling me toward him.
“I ain’t your son. You ain’t my father. You never fuckin’ were! Go drink somewhere and crash your fuckin’ bike. Do everyone some good if you just fuckin’ died.”
“Noah,” I breathed out, glaring at him.
We locked eyes.
“Come on.” He tugged me toward him, and we left.
Neither one of us said a word as we made our way down to the beach. I could tell he was lost in his own thoughts, trying to calm himself from the altercation. I never wanted to know what he was thinking more than I did at that moment. Wanting him to confide in me, open up, and let out all the pent-up anger I knew he was holding in. Though I didn’t want to pry, it was obvious he was upset and hurting.
He sat down in the sand, pulling me beside him. Sitting with his knees up and his arms placed over them, looking out at the ocean. Reluctant to look at me.
I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I didn’t have to wait long until he was the one to break the silence between us.
“Never wanted you to see me like that again,” he said out of nowhere. “Promised myself I’d never let you witness what you saw the day of our baby girl’s funeral. I was fuckin’ ashamed of what I did. Not about fighin’ with Creed, about doin’ it near her gravesite. I was no better than my father, and I fuckin’ hated myself for that.”
I placed my hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture. “It’s alright.”
“No it ain’t, Mia. I keep fuckin’ up with you. And it’s the last thing I wanna do. I want you to like me. Fuck…” He bowed his head. “I want you to love me,” he murmured, looking over in my direction with his head still bowed. “Cuz, I do. I love you, Mia. I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I may not have known it then, but I know it now. I know you don’t remember me or us, but I think you feel it. In here.” He placed his hand over my heart, and just like that it brought back memories of Creed when he did and said the same thing to me at prom. Erupting a flood of emotions back. Each brothers feelings intertwining, intermixing with each other, causing a whole new level of confusion to wash over me, but I quickly pushed it away.
Wanting to stay in the here and now with Noah.
“I’m sorry if this scares you, but I can’t hold it in any longer. I wanted you to be the mother of my kid. Jesus…I still fuckin’ do.”
My eyes watered with tears as I took in all the words he was professing to me, all the emotions pouring out of his heart and soul and into mine.
“I’m so fuckin’ in love with you…” he added in a soft, gentle, almost painful tone.
Which nearly broke my heart to hear. Tears started to fall down the sides of my face, unable to hold them back any longer. He didn’t think twice about it, he grabbed under my arms and carried me over to him, making me straddle his thighs. Caging me in, holding my cheeks between his hands. Kissing all over my face to wipe my tears away with his lips.
“Please, baby… say somethin’…”
I peered deep into his eyes, resting my forehead on his and spoke with conviction, “I’m yours, Noah. It’s only you.”
He didn’t falter, gripping onto the back of my neck, kissing me.
Devouring me.
Taking his time, savoring my taste as if he never wanted to stop. His lips parted, beckoning mine to follow, and they did. We kissed for what felt like hours, but I knew it was only minutes. He wrapped his arms around my torso, lowering me back until I felt the sand beneath me. Laying his body on top of mine.
He wanted me.
He needed me.
My mind was scrambled with thoughts and emotions I couldn’t control, label, or even begin to understand. It was one giant cluster-fuck of feelings. I tried to ignore them all, but they were as consuming as the feeling of his body on top of mine.
I put my arms around his neck as he pushed me further into the sand, kissing me deeper, harder, and with more determination. Something told me this wasn’t the first time he had kissed me like this. My chest rose and fell faster and faster with every slip of his tongue. With every deep breath I took, with each caress of his fingers along my face, with each groan that escaped his mouth and with each moan that left mine.
I felt his heartbeat pounding against my chest. Mimicking my own. They were beating together in a rapid rhythm, dancing with pleasure, mixed with a little bit of pain.
He kissed me one last time. Letting his lips linger for a few seconds longer before pulling away. I instantly felt the loss of our heated kiss when he set his forehead on mine. Our heavy panting was the only thing that could be heard over the waves crashing into the shore as we laid there in the sand, trying to calm our breathing. He pushed the hair away from my face to stare deep into my eyes. Wanting to stay lost in each other's minds.
His hands framed around my face, kissing me again with the same intensity and passion, but slower, more delicate this time. Less frantic and desperate. We stayed like that for I don’t know how long, just kissing. Completely engulfed in one another.
As much as I loved the feeling of his lips, his body, his heart next to mine. There was something deep inside of me that was still hurt and pained. A dreaded, uncomfortable feeling that repeatedly stabbed me right in my core. I desperately tried to push it away, but it was permanently attached to me. As if my heart didn’t even belong to me anymore.
Because it was owned by someone else.
*Creed*
The time we had been waiting for had finally arrived. This was our one and only chance to raid the clubhouse for the missing disc undetected. It was the annual Fourth of July fair weekend in Oak Island where people from all over came to celebrate and enjoy the biggest display of fireworks in the country. Everyone’s attention would be focused on the event and not what’s going down on the outskirts of town. Our MC and other chapters from all over the state of North Carolina rallied up together and made their presence known at the festival for all to see. It had been a tradition for generations, one I knew my old man fucking loved and wouldn’t fucking pass up.
It had been three months since we had a word with Damien at his underground club in Miami. We still hadn’t figured out jack shit about what we needed to know. The pieces of the puzzle were still scattered everywhere, and Damien’s cryptic information made no fucking sense at all. Other than revealing that Martinez was indeed alive, we had nothing to go on. The only place we hadn’t searched for the disc was the one place I left for last.
The compound.
Only problem was we couldn’t do it with Pops around. Hence the reason we waited fucking over ninety whole days for this one night. We knew the motherfucker hid everything conspicuously in his room. There had to be something there. Anything that could point us in the right direction to find the evidence we needed to put an end to everything.
We hid the truck in the woods about a half a mile up the road from the clubhouse, preferring to tread on foot just in case someone showed back up early. We waited, bunkered down in the woods, out of sight until we saw them ride out toward the fair, all sporting their colors with fucking pride. The Prez knew Diesel was with me most of the time since I was technically still in hiding. I needed backup in case more shit hit the fan. Diesel and I breached the property just after eleven at night. Getting in unseen, dodging the fucking security cameras to get to the control panel. I knew how to fuck with the cameras and security system my father had installed after the shootout.
The cheap bastard didn’t get anything high-tech. It was easy to mess with the setup, so we could be undetected. I went in through the
back while Diesel walked in through the front, just in case there were any stragglers or club whores left behind. It would look suspicious if he was sneaking in like I was. The brothers knew I couldn’t step foot on the compound, it would be too careless to put the club in jeopardy if for some reason the cops found out.
“Everyone’s gone,” he announced, nodding to me to come in through the sliders. “We got less than a few hours to find what we need. Don’t wanna push our luck, who the fuck knows how long your old man will stay out at the fair. I guess it depends on how much Jack they have.”
I nodded, grabbing the hidden key for his room before making our way down the hall and up a set of stairs to his private quarters. Hoping Christa, Pop’s whore, wasn’t there since we didn’t see her on the back of his bike. We stopped in front of his door and listened for a second, making sure the coast was clear. It didn’t surprise either one of us that the door was fucking locked.
We spent the next two hours searching hell and high water for any sort of clue. From the walls to the floors, even the goddamn ceiling. Rummaging through drawers, cabinets, and shelves, coming up empty. On the verge of tearing the fucking room apart, trashing it just to find where he hid Martinez’s disc. But we didn’t, wanting it to look like no one had been there.
The last thing we needed was for him to figure out we were fucking on to him. It would start new problems we didn’t have time for.
“Fuck!” I yelled, frustrated we weren’t finding what we needed. Sitting my ass in the recliner in his room, trying not to think about how many bitches sucked his cock while he was sitting in it.
I grabbed my phone out from my back pocket and pulled up the picture that Martinez sent me months ago. I had probably looked at the goddamn photo hundreds of fucking times, still feeling as though I was missing something of importance. The photo was aged, worn, and fucked up, so it was hard to make out his face.
“Creed,” Diesel called out, bringing my attention to him. “Since when does your old man listen to classical music?”