Her eyes showed more emotion than I had seen in a long time. Her bright blue gaze intently focused on what I was saying. I leaned across the table, needing to feel close to her. Reaching for her hands to hold them in mine.
I recited from her book, “Have you ever met someone that you felt like you already knew with every fiber of your being? Knowing it was physically impossible, knowing it was the first time you had ever laid eyes on him, knowing that he was a complete and utter stranger. But, feeling it in your heart, in your mind, and in your soul that this person was a part of you. Someone you possibly met in a previous life, someone who may have meant something to you. I locked eyes with the guy across the room and a sense of deja vu hit me, I felt like I had seen him before, his presence was comforting and intriguing, although in my head I knew he was a complete stranger. I felt a pull towards him, like he was a piece of a puzzle that was missing from my life. I knew something was brewing. Something big. Important. Life-changing. The way he looked at me, consumed me in ways I never thought possible. There was a predatory, yet captivating glare in his eyes. As if I was the answer to every question he ever had.”
Her eyes widened in disbelief, tears pooling immediately.
“I felt every single one of those things you described in our love story, Daisy. Every last one of them. And yes, the second I laid eyes on you… you answered every question I ever had.”
Tears fell from her eyes, and I squeezed her hand in comfort. Wanting to hold her anyway I could. I reached across the table, rubbing her tear-stained cheek with my thumb.
“I need to make amends with you. I can’t pass my ninth step in my recovery until I do. I know I’ve said this to you a hundreds, thousands, possibly millions of times, but from the bottom of my fucking heart and soul, baby, I am so sorry. I needed to forgive myself from the guilt of everything I did to you. To my family, my friends, the car accident. Before I could love myself. Before I could feel whole again. I’m not asking for you to forget, I’m begging you to forgive.”
She sniffled. “I forgave you a long time ago, Austin. I forgave you the moment I left your hospital room.”
“I know it’s going to take time for you to trust me again. Fuck… it’s taken almost three years for me to trust myself again. But I need you in my life.”
“Austin, I—”
“I’m not saying we go back to being what we were. I don’t want to go back to the past. I want to move forward in the future with you. I want to be your best friend, Daisy. I miss your friendship more than anything in this world. Your love, your kindness, your smile, your laugh. Us. I miss hearing your voice, even your snoring,” I chuckled.
“I don’t snore. I have allergies,” she giggled, sniffling again.
And it was still the sweetest sound I’d ever heard.
“Your allergies then. I miss those too. I just… I. Miss. You. If we could be friends again. Start from the beginning with a clean slate. If we could start in a new place, find our way back to whatever we’re supposed to be to each other. I know in my heart, as well as in my mind, body, and soul that you’re meant to be in my life one way or another. And you know that too. You wouldn’t have written it, if you didn’t.”
She took a deep breath. I wasn’t surprised in the least that she was hesitating. I couldn’t blame her after everything I’d put her through. The emotional roller-coaster ride that was never-ending, all-consuming, held her hostage for years and years.
“Let’s eat lunch, and then I’d like to show you something. Can we do that?”
She nodded, pulling her hands away.
We ate in comfortable silence both of us lost in our thoughts. Our plaguing emotions swirled all around us. I paid the bill and we walked out to my car. Once again driving in silence, I found myself reaching over the center console for her hand, kissing it before placing it in my lap. To my surprise, she let me. I couldn’t fucking help myself, I needed to feel her.
As soon as I drove into my neighborhood, she knew where I was going. From the corner of my eye, I caught her trying to hide a grin when she looked out the window. Parking my car in the garage we made our way into my house.
The home I purchased with a family in mind.
The same one I wanted with her.
Only her.
She slowly stepped inside through the garage door, immediately taking in all her surroundings from the kitchen to the dining room. Walking straight to the sliding glass door to gaze out at the dock she loved so much. Knowing she had already left a piece of her soul on the wooden planks. I watched her move to the living room, her fingers lightly skimming my furniture. Admiring the pictures on the walls and the shelves.
“This isn’t what I wanted to show you,” I stated, grabbing her hand.
I led her to the guesthouse I had built specially for her after I read her book. She peered around the spacious open room that I’d made into her office. It was a private writing space with huge bay windows that overlooked our dock and the water. She took in every last picture of all our happy memories throughout the years that were scattered all over the walls. She walked over to the reading chair in the corner and picked up her memory blanket that I’d given to her for her birthday a long time ago. She left it behind. I had it with me always. She brought it up to her cheek, snuggling into it as her eyes began to water. Placing it back on the chair, she continued over to the bookshelf that held all of her books that she’d also left behind. I pulled every last one of them out of storage.
“I made Lucas’ company build this room for you after I read your book. I wanted you to have a happy place at my home,” I informed, gazing at her as she continued to explore the room with her hand over her heart.
She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw what I really wanted her to see. I came up behind her, close enough to where she could feel my warmth, love, and devotion for her.
“See, baby, you’ve always been with me. Even when you weren’t,” I murmured into her ear as she stared at the Twilight Sparkle Briggs doll sitting on the shelf with a picture of us beside it.
Her hand went over her mouth as fresh tears erupted.
“I bought her on my way to rehab. I never needed you more than I did back then. I prayed that she could make me as happy as it made you the last time you were holding her. Hoping that maybe one day you could hold her again, knowing that this time she was yours. And you were going to be happy, forever. With me.”
“I-I don’t know what to say.”
I turned her to face me, and there were tears streaming down her beautiful face. I resisted the urge to kiss them all away, so I wiped them away instead. She looked deep into my eyes, searching for something I hope she’d find.
“Okay,” she whispered.
I pulled away her hair, caressing her cheek with my thumb.
“Okay, what, baby?”
“Okay, we can try to be friends again.”
I smiled, pulling her into my arms. Feeling her against me for the first time in over three years was like coming home. She wrapped her arms around me, holding me in the exact same way. My girl was in my arms again. Where she belonged. I would prove myself worthy of her love and trust. I didn’t care if it took the rest of my life.
She was mine.
There wasn’t a chance in hell that I was ever going to let her go. I loved her too fucking much.
Epilogue
Austin
Four and a half years later
“You ready?” I asked my baby girl.
She stopped building her sand castle and looked up at me. She got her long, silky brown hair from her mama and the freckles sprinkled across her nose from me, but those bright blue eyes she shared with both of us. She fervently nodded, standing up, brushing off the sand from her chubby little legs and her purple two-piece bikini that Briggs insisted was the cutest thing she’d ever seen.
“Hold on, Amari,” Briggs said to our almost three-year-old daughter.
She walked over to us from her beach chair and helped Amari
wipe off the sand.
“Turn around, baby girl,” she said, wanting to tie Amari’s long hair up high on her head so it would be away from her face.
Briggs strapped on her life vest and I made sure it was securely in place, tight against her chest. Amari ran over and kissed her eight-month-old baby brother, Michael. We named them after Briggs’ parents, and I was already trying to knock her up with a third. To give her the big family that she always dreamed of.
It took a little less than a year for her to tell me that she loved me again, even though I told her every fucking day. We started off as friends like we did when we first met, flirting relentlessly, cuddling, and laughing all the time. She slept in my arms every night like old times. The first time we kissed was on my birthday, exactly what I wished for when I blew out my candles. We had been together for three months by that time, but it felt like we’d never parted ways. It was as if nothing had changed between us.
The first time I tasted her again, bringing her to ecstasy with my tongue and fingers, was on her birthday. It was three months after mine. That was my gift to her. The best fucking orgasm she’d ever experienced. She wanted to make love right then and there, she actually begged me for it. It took everything inside me not to give her what she wanted. I told her she couldn’t get my cock again until she told me she loved me.
Sound familiar?
She finally said it the day I received my four-year sobriety chip. I didn’t waste any goddamn time. I asked her to marry me and knocked her up on our dock out back. We were married on those same wooden planks less than a month later. The same day she told me she was pregnant.
I was paranoid as fuck with her pregnancy. Since she had suffered a miscarriage before, she was a high-risk pregnancy. I barely let her lift a finger. I waited on her hand and foot, giving into her every crazy request. Turned out her pregnancy was normal, and she went full term without any complications. We both wanted to focus on Amari being the only child for as long as we could. Finally getting the baby girl that I’d dreamt about for years.
Amari was the spitting image of her mama. She already started asking to dye her hair bright pink, her favorite color. Briggs bought her some pink clip-in hairpieces instead. She was so damn cute when she wore them, carrying around her “Briggs doll” that she stole off of her mama’s shelf in her office, claiming it was hers now. She took it everywhere, and it made Briggs smile every time she saw it. Our son, Michael, was the spitting image of me. Briggs claimed that he already had my “I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude.”
“I’m ready, Daddy,” Amari said in her tiny baby voice, standing in front of me with her arms up in the air.
I picked her up, placing her on my back. Her little arms wrapped around my neck while I held on to her under her butt. I crouched down kissing Michael on the forehead. Grabbing Briggs’ chin to kiss her pouty pink lips.
“I love you,” I rasped against her mouth.
She smiled. “Be careful.”
“Always am.”
I kissed her one last time. Grabbing my surfboard, we made our way into the water.
“You ready, baby girl?” I asked, lifting her higher on my back.
She nodded. “Yep! Let’s do this,” she replied, enthusiastically kicking her legs at my sides.
I laughed, strapping the leash on my ankle. Lying on my board, I paddled out with Amari safely placed on my back. Her arms were tightly wrapped around my neck, practically choking me. The first wave hit and I dropped in, holding onto Amari tight before I stood. I caught the wave with her on my back like I’d done countless times. Riding it all the way down the peak along the shoreline.
“Yeah, Daddy! Let’s hit a big one!” she yelled in my ear.
Amari loved surfing. She was my little daredevil.
It was one of her favorite things to do with me. We had been surfing like this since she turned two. My baby girl was definitely going to be a surfer when she got a little bit older and could swim better. As soon as my son was old enough, I would do the same with him. All the boys had done this with their kids. It became our thing. Wanting to give our kids something that was so special and dear to our hearts.
We spent the next hour out there, laughing and having a good ol’ time. I finally started going to therapy for my back while I was in rehab. Believe it or not, it worked wonders. I could do the things I loved again without the throbbing discomfort and pain. Sometimes I would lie about it just so Briggs would give me a massage. Naked. After the kids were in bed, sleeping.
“Mama! Mama! Mama! Did you see us? Did you see the big wave Daddy rode? Did you see, Mama? Did you see?” Amari shouted, running up the beach toward Briggs.
She caught her in the air, throwing our daughter up on her hip.
“I saw, baby girl.”
“Mama, Daddy says that maybe I can learn to surf by myself when I’m this many.” She held up five little fingers. “That’s only…” Her eyes looked everywhere, trying to think of the answer. “That’s only… a lot away,” she simply stated, making us both laugh.
“You definitely got a minute or two, baby girl,” I reminded, kissing the top of her head.
“How’s Michael?” I asked, grabbing Amari from her arms.
I sat her on my lap to help her build her sandcastle like I’d promised earlier.
“He’s lounging at the beach and has a full belly. He’s the happiest baby in the world right now. Just like his daddy.”
“Like father, like son, huh, buddy?” I cooed, leaning around Amari to blow raspberries on his chubby belly.
He flapped around everywhere, excited. Lying on Briggs’ memory blanket that she now used for our babies.
I peered back at Briggs who was already looking at me adoringly. She was still breathtakingly beautiful, especially when she was wearing a bikini. Having two kids only made her curvier, she was sexier than hell now. I couldn’t take my eyes off her heavy breasts that were spilling out of her top. Breastfeeding made her tits so fucking perky. All I could think about was motor boating the shit out of them later.
“Austin… stop,” she giggled.
“What?” I glared at her with a predatory regard.
“I know that look! Your daughter is on your lap.”
“Do you hear your mama’s nonsense?” I whispered into Amari’s neck, making her tuck her chin and laugh.
She hated her neck being touched as much as I did, but I still tortured her with it like my parents did to me.
“Mama, Daddy told me you belong to him so he can do anything he wants to you. But he said I belong to him too, and I need to remember that. So I can tell boys and he won’t have to beat their ass’.”
“Austin!” she reprimanded.
My eyes widened, trying to hold back a laugh.
“You’re not supposed to repeat that,” I murmured to Amari.
She looked up at me, smiling. “Oh yeah, I always forget that part.”
“Psst… Amari, let’s get Mama,” I nodded toward Briggs.
“Yes, let’s get her good, Daddy.”
“On the count of three, okay?” I whispered again to her.
“Austin…” Briggs warned hearing our plot against her, knowing what I was implying.
Amari readily nodded, standing from my lap, counting, “One...”
“Amari,” Briggs coaxed.
“Two…” I added.
“This isn’t fair.”
“Three!” We both shouted together.
Briggs instantly got up to take off running, but I grabbed her around the waist before she even took a step, flinging her up in the air.
“Austin,” she giggled, loving this game even though she liked to pretend she didn’t.
I placed her down on the ground, straddling her waist. Sitting over her legs, Amari and I attacked her, tickling her everywhere. Briggs thrashed around, screaming and laughing all at once.
“This isn’t fair! It’s always two against one! I need Michael to be on my team!”
“Michael will be
on the A Team. Mine! Then there’ll be three against one!”
I held Briggs’ arms above her head, tickling her neck and face with my beard. Amari tickled under her arms.
“Oh my God! Stop!” She thrashed around more, moving her face side to side. “Well then it’s a good thing I’m pregnant because this one will be on Team Kick A-S-S.”
I jerked back, smiling. Not letting go of her wrists.
“Amari,” I called out, locking eyes with a grinning Briggs.
“Let’s give your mama a break. Can you check on your brother for us, please?”
“Yes,” she replied, happy to help.
She loved Michael and being a big sister. She jumped up and ran over to her baby brother, not paying any mind to what Briggs just informed me.
I didn’t falter. “You’re pregnant?”
“Your baby is in my belly,” she stated with the same phrase she used with all our babies. “Apparently, your boys really love me. The doctor was even shocked that it happened so fast.”
I leaned forward. My cock throbbed to be inside her, and I hated that we were in public. I couldn’t have my way with her.
“I fucking love you, baby.”
I kissed her long and deep. Until Amari jumped on my back, tickling me under my neck. Causing us to break our connection. I threw Amari in the air, tickling her next. Kissing all over her face, rubbing her with my beard exactly like I did with her mama.
I had everything I ever wanted and more.
My wife.
My babies.
My family.
My life was finally complete, and I owed it all to my Daisy.
The girl with the tattoos and vibrant purple hair.
Briggs
I had never been so happy before in my entire life. My whole world was in front of me, and it was filled with nothing but happiness. The past didn’t matter anymore. I truly believe with all my heart that it was what led us to this place and time.