“I usually use that one,” he added with a neutral tone.
I gasped with my mouth wide open. “You asshole!”
He laughed, big and throaty.
“Oh my God! You actually had me going! You’re such a dick, McGraw!"
He laughed harder, his head falling back. It shook the entire boat. “I never smile unless I mean it,” he confessed out of nowhere.
I lowered my eyebrows, confused by the turn of events. I instinctively peered down at the makeshift picnic he had made for us…
For me.
“As a matter of fact, I don’t do anything unless I fucking want to. I don’t care who you are,” he said with a thick Southern accent, running his hand through his long hair. I noticed his twang came out more when he really meant something. When he was passionate or determined to get out what he needed to say.
I licked my lips, carefully listening to everything he was sharing. My heart fluttering faster with each word that left his mouth.
“Since I met you, I smile a lot, and I find myself doing all sorts of shit I never have before.”
“How do you do that?”
He knowingly arched an eyebrow.
“How can you make me so mad, and then make it go away as if it was never there in the first place?”
“It’s a curse, darlin’, I have that effect on girls.”
I shook my head, smiling.
“What’s your favorite color?”
“Pink,” I replied, confused. He seemed to be full of surprises.
“Food?”
“Chicken wings and pizza. Where is this going?”
“Movie?” he followed, ignoring my question.
“Boondock Saints.”
He grinned, surprised with my answer.
“I love an asshole hero,” I sincerely stated.
He smiled big and wide, knowing I meant that in more ways than one.
“Best childhood memory?”
I frowned but quickly recovered, simply stating, “Surfing.”
“Last question, what’s your biggest weakness? What do you hate?”
“That’s easy. I hate being tickled. I cannot freaking stand it.”
“You mean like this?”
It all happened so fast I never saw it coming. His arms wrapped around me before I got the last word out, locking me in place against his hard, firm chest.
I gasped. “Dylan…” I warned. “Let go! I don’t want to play with you anymore,” I argued, pathetically fighting his hold.
The boat wobbled more, adding to my weak attempts of breaking away from his tight grasp. The water smacking hard against the sea wall, mimicking what I wanted to do to him at that second.
“Oh really, where are you the most ticklish? Here?”
I started squealing, struggling, and hysterically laughing. My body violently shook as he tickled me everywhere. Finding my sweet spot almost immediately, right under my ribs. I shuddered, falling to the ground with him pretty much on top of me. Except he didn’t stop, if anything it gave him more leverage to do what he wanted…
To torture me.
“Stop!” I screeched out, squirming and kicking every which way.
“Darlin’, now’s not the time to pretend like you don’t like my hands on you.”
“McGraw! I mean—”
“You mean what, suga’?” he taunted, stopping his assault with his face mere inches from mine.
“Tell me, what do you mean?” he baited, inching his face closer.
I have never wanted someone to kiss me more than I did right then and there.
I watched the way his lips moved.
I watched the way his hair blew in the wind, framing my face.
I watched the way his chest heaved up and down, mirroring mine as if they were in sync with one another.
I especially watched the way he looked at me. No one had ever looked at me like that. I wanted to engrain it in my memory. To take a piece of him home with me.
When he brushed the hair away from my face he didn't say a word. His eyes spoke for him.
The way he affected my mind and my heart was petrifying, but it was so real.
The emotion…
I could touch it.
I could feel it.
I could taste it.
It surrounded me. It undid me.
“You’re trouble, McGraw. You’re so much fucking trouble,” I murmured, loud enough for him to hear.
“Baby,” he huskily groaned, placing his forehead on mine. “You have no fucking idea.”
He wanted to kiss me.
By the look on his face, he knew I wanted it, too. But what he did next surprised me more than anything.
He sat up.
Breaking the strong connection that held both of us captive for just a few minutes. I cleared my throat, sitting up with him. Pretending like I wasn’t hurt by his rejection.
“You hungry?” he asked, walking over to the picnic basket, breaking the thick air between us.
I nodded, not being able to find my voice. He handed me a sandwich before he headed over to the edge of the boat, sitting with his feet dangling in the water.
I watched him from afar without him noticing, which was odd because he seemed to notice everything.
An old blues beat unexpectedly filled the silence. The first few lyrics described a man that was running, hiding, and then running and hiding again, not knowing what the girl wanted him to do. I couldn’t help but laugh and smile.
I smiled so wide that it hurt my face.
He was trying to tell me something again. Letting the music express what he couldn’t say himself.
I paid attention to every word as the enticing beat rocked through me, and I felt the need to be close to him. Closer than I already was, and I meant that in more ways than one. I took off my sandals and scooted to the edge of the boat where Dylan sat, letting my feet sway to the music in the warm ocean water.
His fingers strummed to the beat of the music on the side of the boat, and I placed my hand close to his.
“You like blues, huh?” I questioned, pulling him away from his thoughts.
He nodded, glancing at the side of my face. It didn’t take long for his hand to find mine, and he lazily drew circles to the rhythm of the music. Shivers coursed through me even though there wasn’t a chill in the air.
“Who is this?” I asked out of curiosity. I really liked the man’s voice. It did something to me.
“Jimmy Reed. Do you like it?”
“Very much so. What’s the name of the song?”
He looked back out at the water, hesitating to answer my question, like he was contemplating if he was going to tell me or not.
When all of a sudden he turned and leaned forward close to my ear, whispering,
“’Baby, What You Want Me to Do.’”
She grinned and it lit up her entire face.
It lit up the entire boat.
I sat back up, gazing out over the water once again. “I love blues music. I have ever since I was a kid. I guess you could blame it on my dad who was constantly playing it as I was growing up. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked in on my parents slow dancing to it. It’s the only music you can feel in your blood, it vibrates and bleeds into your body. You can appreciate the pain in every lyric like they’re telling you a story about a significant time in their lives. Whether it was good or bad, it didn’t matter. It happened.”
Her toes skimmed mine in the water.
“Your parents are still married then?”
“Happily.”
I took her hand and placed it on my lap.
“Is your dad an asshole like you?” She smiled, nudging my shoulder.
“I’m one of a kind, darlin’.”
Leaning forward, she swished her feet back and forth with the current.
“Ain’t that right,” she giggled, and it was the sweetest sound I ever heard.
“Are you close to your parents?”
“As much as any
son can be close to their parents at sixteen,” I chuckled, tangling my foot with hers.
“Do they know about all your extra-curricular activities?” She peered over to me with laughter in her eyes.
“What is this, twenty questions?” I teased.
“Oh, McGraw, you can get your questions in, but I can’t?”
“I wasn’t after the questions, suga. Back to your question though, who do you think handed me my first condom?”
She raised her eyebrows, surprised. Her cheeks turned a soft red.
“I also love classic rock. Throw in a little country, too,” I said to change the subject. I didn’t want to talk about myself anymore. I already knew about this fucker, I wanted to know about her.
Just her.
She scoffed. “You’re just a good ol’ boy, aren’t you, Dylan McGraw?” she baited.
“You are a pretty thing, aren’t you?” I tugged on the ends of her hair, ignoring her question.
She blushed again.
“That red is surely becoming one of my favorite colors, baby girl’.”
“You can be quite charming when you want to.”
“Nah, you just caught me on a good night.”
She snuggled into my shoulder, inching closer to me. We sat in comfortable silence with our feet rubbing together every few seconds in the water. I could have stayed in that moment with her forever.
It was perfect.
With the music, the boat rocking softly, and the moon shining bright above us, something came over me. I stood, pulling her up with me. I took one of her hands and placed it on my shoulder then intertwined the other in mine, placing it near my heart. I grabbed her waist with my free hand and hugged her close. Her face conveyed so many emotions in a matter of seconds, and I paid attention to every last one.
We swayed to the music as I hummed the melody. She placed the side of her face on my chest and I knew what she was trying to do, but it didn’t matter because I already felt everything she was trying to hide.
“You want to know something, McGraw?” she whispered in my ear.
“I want to know everything, baby.”
She wasn’t caught off guard with my statement, and quite frankly, neither was I.
“I’m not so lonely when you’re around,” she chuckled.
There was nothing funny about her statement. Not even a little bit. I looked down at her, and she stared up at me. She had this pained look on her face, and I wondered if I wore the same expression as we continued to move.
“My mom likes you. Don’t let it go to your head or anything though. She’s hardly met any of my friends. Even back home in California. She’s my mom and I love her, but my aunt Celeste filled her shoes for most of my life.”
That explained the mystery woman in the pictures, I thought to myself.
“She’s my mom’s sister, she couldn’t have kids. I don’t know if it was intentional or not, but she kinda raised me as her own. Doing the things my mom should have done. I miss her as much as I miss my dad,” she muttered.
I unexpectedly spun her around, dipping her, catching her off guard with my nose practically skimming hers. I wanted to ease her sadness so I said,
“Life is simple, darlin’, it’s just not easy.”
It had been one month.
One month of dating Aubrey.
Three months since I met her.
Over two months of no sex.
I held her hand, I tugged on her hair, I kissed her face, and I listened to everything that came out of her mouth as if she was telling me the world’s biggest secrets. I hadn’t kissed her. I hadn’t even tried to kiss her. Being around her was enough for me. To be able to be with someone, to really be with them on a level other than physical, was something I had never experienced before. Something I had never had.
I was officially pussy-whipped and sporting the worst case of blue balls known to fucking man.
I didn’t understand any of it, the need to be around this girl was throwing me off-kilter. Every waking moment I thought about this girl. The next time I would see her, talk to her, hold her…
The list was endless.
Our connection was flawless and fluid; we didn’t have to work at it. It wasn’t a burden or a struggle to be with her like it was with the others. I used to get bored the minute the sex stopped, fucked ‘em and dumped ‘em, moving onto the next. Not with Aubrey though, everything with her was easy. It flowed seamlessly, the conversations, the chemistry, and the friendship. The subtle looks she would give me when she didn’t think I was looking.
She was perfect.
She came into my life like a riptide, taking down everything in her path and dragging me right along with her. I couldn’t remember the last time I came up for air, took a second to breathe, a moment to catch my bearings and try to fight against her pull. Her current was strong and growing every time I was with her. I was lost in the waves of everything she had to offer. I never expected to fall for her. I wasn’t even looking for anyone, but there she was, this girl with such a force, such a drive. It was so fucking powerful that I never stood a chance.
There was no push and pull.
At least not yet…
Every single time I told myself that today was going to be the day. The day that I would make my move, the day I would kiss her, the day I would touch her, the day I would move on from this PG-13 bullshit or whatever the hell it was that was going on with us. That I would show her who I truly was, what I could truly offer her, what I gave to so many other girls…
I couldn’t do it.
Just. Like. That.
Dylan-fucking-McGraw couldn’t seal the deal.
No room for maybe’s or possibly yes, it was a dead no, and I had never been happier. I looked forward to our next conversation, the next time I would get to see her smile, or make her laugh, but I still loved making her mad, pissing her off and seeing that feisty temper come out as much as possible, so I hadn’t become a complete fucking pussy.
I kept going back to her, wanting more.
Wanting everything.
Nothing or no one stood in my way.
I’d like to see them fucking try.
I started to bring her around the boys and Alex a few weeks ago. Alex loved her right away. They got along like two peas in a pod. The boys welcomed her into our circle with open arms, but that didn’t stop them from giving me shit.
We had just finished surfing. It was pouring every afternoon for the last few days and a mean swell would kick up before the storm.
“My aunt’s going to be calling soon, and I forgot my cell phone back at my house. I gotta get going,” Aubrey said, walking up to me with Alex close by her side.
I stuck my board in the sand and shook out my hair.
“McGraw!” Aubrey squealed, blocking the water with Half-Pint giggling.
I grinned, tugging on the ends of her hair. “Don’t pretend like you don’t like me gettin’ you wet.”
She chuckled, “You’re such a dick.”
“I’ll take you home.” I looked at Alex. “Make sure Lucas doesn’t go back out there once the storm hits. I see it in his eyes, he’s thinkin’ about it.”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course he is.”
“Come on.” I grabbed her hand and led her up to the restaurant, placing my board in Half-Pint’s parents’ backroom.
We’d been leaving our boards in there since we were kids, it was easier than lugging them around everywhere. I think our families appreciated that we still surfed near the restaurant just in case. Surfing was like freefalling with no parachute, you respected Mother Nature because she could kill you if you didn’t.
I opened the door for Aubrey to get in, shutting it, and walking to the driver’s side. I grabbed my cargo shorts from the backseat and opened my door, depriving the bystanders from my naked glory while changing. I didn’t give two shits if Aubrey could see. To be honest, I wanted her to. I watched Aubrey from the corner of my eyes, while she watched me from the corner o
f hers.
“You can look, sweetheart, he’s not shy.”
She turned beet red, making me laugh.
It didn’t take us long to get to her house, she lived a few blocks from the beach.
“Can I use your bathroom?”
“Sure.”
I followed her inside, taking in the way her hips swayed as she walked.
Damn, I loved her ass.
“Down the hall, first door on the left.” She pointed. “Can I get you anything? Sweet tea?”
“Nah, I’m good, thanks, darlin’. I’ll be right back.”
I made my way down the hall to the bathroom. I took care of business and walked back out to the living room where she was sitting on the couch with her legs tucked underneath her.
She was so damn beautiful.
“Do you want to watch a movie? My aunt’s going to call in a bit, but we could watch one after if you want to stay.”
“We’re alone?” I blurted out, surprising myself.
She peered around the room, confused, and I felt like a fucking idiot.
“Um, yeah. My mom’s working like always.” She smirked, with a twinkle in her eyes that I recognized all too well.
I didn’t even have to give it any thought. There were zero fucks given.
“Maybe some other time.”
“Oh…” she breathed out, scratching her head. “You got somewhere to be or something?”
“Or somethin’.” Avoiding eye contact so she couldn’t see right through my bullshit.
“Right. Okay. I guess I’ll see you around then,” she nervously stated.
“I’ll call you later.” I tried to reassure her, walking to the front door like the pussy I had suddenly become, not bothering to look back at her hurt face.
“Dylan.”
I stopped dead in my tracks, knowing exactly what she was going to ask. I turned around to face her, still giving her a questioning look. No matter what she had to say I, wasn’t going to do a damn thing about it. That much I knew. She was standing by the archway, looking gorgeous as ever, her vulnerability radiating all around her that I suddenly found it hard to breathe.
“We’ve been hanging, you know… for like a month or something,” she muttered. “I mean… do you… I mean… you know…”
“Just fucking say it, Aubrey,” I interrupted, harsher than I intended.