Except, when I opened my eyes, I pretended to see Sebastian. And when I finally came with my release. It all left.
Safe.
Loved.
Wanted.
GONE.
And I felt exactly what I wanted to forget.
Whore.
VIP.
Me.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
And I broke down crying.
“Shhh…shhh….shhh….it’s okay,” he whispered as I was cradled in his arms. “That’s it…take deep breaths…in and out…yes. Just like that. Breathe in and breathe out. Shhh…you’re okay. I’m here…everything is going to be okay, Kid.”
I moved away from him, taking the sheet with me to cover myself. “Oh my God, what the fuck did I just do?”
“It’s okay.”
“It is NOT okay, Devon; it is so far from okay it’s like on the other side of the planet,” I irrationally laughed.
“Kid, I think you’re having a panic attack or maybe a nervous breakdown. You just need to relax,” he coaxed.
“So I decide fucking you was the answer. Jesus Christ…I’m such a whore.”
“Stop. Stop talking about yourself like that. I read it wrong, I thought…I don’t know what I thought,” he explained, shaking his head. “But it’s my fault, too. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you. It takes two to tango.”
“It doesn’t matter! We just had sex. I’m so fucked. Sebastian is never going to forgive me.”
“Kid, you and him aren’t together. You didn’t cheat on him,” he reasoned.
“It doesn’t fucking matter. It’s you. And me. Why would I do this? Why would I fuck up the only good thing in my life? I’m not a good person. I don’t know who I am, Devon.”
“You need to calm down, you’re talking in circles. I can’t understand you.”
“I need to go.”
I jumped off the bed to find my clothes and swiftly put everything on, running for the door. Devon flew out in front of me, blocking my exit with his jeans barely on.
“You’re not going anywhere, you can barely talk, let alone drive,” he rationalized.
“Stop trying to save me!”
“Ysabelle, this isn’t about saving you. I’m not prince charming; I just fucked my best friend and didn’t even realize that she wasn’t in the mental capacity to do so. Do you have any idea how awful I feel? I’m sorry.”
“This isn’t your fault. It’s mine. I came on to you.”
“And I accepted it.” He paused. “Just relax, we both fucked up. Equally. It’s not a big deal. Now calm down and take a seat and tell me what the hell is going on. Please,” he added.
I nodded.
He pointed toward his living room and I went and sat on the couch, he came in a few minutes later with tea and water.
“It’s chamomile,” he said.
I drank the whole thing in one gulp like it was a shot of whiskey.
“What happened?”
I sighed. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“The beginning usually works well.”
“I was filing clients at The Cathouse and getting everything in order, making sure it was all up to date. I came across Mika’s file—”
“Mika from the hospital?” he interrupted.
I looked at him. “How do you know that?”
“We will talk about that later. Just finish.”
“Yeah…that guy,” I stated confused. “Anyway, he showed up and at first, I thought he was trying to fuck with me, and then I actually thought he was trying to fuck me. Make a really long story short, Madam is my grandmother.”
His eyes widened. “No…”
“Yeah.”
“No way…”
“Yes.”
“What?”
“Exactly!” I shouted.
“Jesus…this is like out of a book.”
I nodded, half-laughing. “She showed up and it got nasty quick. She’s behind everything, Devon, the rape, me coming to Miami, the night I met her at the bar. She knew who I was because she put me here; she just had to wait until I was an adult before she could make her move.”
He lowered his eyebrows. “I don’t understand. Your mom is her daughter? Then why were you raised like that? Why wasn’t your mom a VIP?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. My mom never talked about any family. I have not a clue. I know I need answers, and the only way I’m going to get them is through her. Just the thought of having to face her again makes me ill.”
“So, Mika told you?”
“Every last detail.”
“Who is he?”
I shook my head. “I have no idea. I’m assuming from the way he spoke about her, some sort of lover.”
“Why did he tell you?”
I stood up, frustrated. “Devon, you’re asking all these questions and I don’t know the answers. I’m so lost. I have no idea who I am. I never did. I was a puppet and she pulled the strings. She has controlled my entire life and made me think that she was a mother to me. She still thinks she is. You should have seen her! I’ve never seen the woman shed a goddamn tear, let alone frown, and she was on her hands and knees, bawling for me to forgive her.”
“Wow.”
“Queen of Miami, leader of VIP, the most exclusive and elite whorehouse in all the world, is my grandmother. That’s why she wants to give me VIP. Brooke once told me that it’s been in her family for generations; she was born into this life. I’m the key to keeping it going. Hence, why I’m back here. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if she faked getting beaten.”
“She was on her deathbed. There’s no way.”
“She’s fucking insane.”
I sat down next to him, both of us in shock from everything I disclosed.
“What are you going to do now?” he sincerely questioned.
“Obviously, I fuck my best friend. I mean why not…let’s just add icing on the cake.” I placed my head in my lap. “I’m so fucked up.”
He rubbed my back. “Kid…”
“Hmmm…”
“I love you.”
I smiled. “I love you too, Devon.”
“No…I love you.”
My eyes immediately opened. “Please tell me you’re joking,” I replied, not moving.
“Hear me out. I’ve known you for over ten years now. When you first walked into my bar, I thought you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. That night when you came home with me, I had this instinctual desire to want to protect you. I still do. When I found your license and realized that you were sixteen, I knew you were running from something. It had to be bad; you were taking a risk and I decided in that second to take one with you. When you left the bar, I felt it. You wanted more out of life and I let you go.”
I sat up and turned to look at him.
“Over the years, our friendship got stronger and the feelings of love grew. I thought I was in love with you. That’s why Christine hated you so much; she knew it. You never looked at me the way you look at Sebastian, not one time. When you walked through my door just now…I thought…I thought you wanted me. And I jumped at the chance to be with you. I’m an asshole.”
“Dev—”
“No…I am. In a weird, fucked up sort of way. I’m glad it happened. I love you, Kid. I always will. I think somewhere along the way, I confused that love into something that it’s not. It got twisted.”
I frowned.
“I slept with Brooke. Let me rephrase that…I’ve been sleeping with Brooke since that night at the club.”
My mouth dropped open. “Oh my God! She hasn’t said a word.” I was stunned.
“Well…at least that answers that.”
“Brooke is—”
“I know what Brooke is. I think I’m falling in love with her, though, and sleeping with you just made me realize that.”
I was at a loss for words. This night was a shit show.
“I’ve never met anyone like her. There’s somethi
ng beautifully broken about her. I can’t stay away.”
“I don’t know what to tell you. How often do you see her?”
“Often enough.”
“Are you going to tell her?”
“I don’t know. Are you?”
“Devon, please…I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I can take care of myself, Kid.”
I nodded.
“Think of it this way, I got to fuck two VIPs and I didn’t have to pay,” he chuckled.
My head jerked back, wide-eyed. “Oh my God! You’re not paying for Brooke?”
“That’s your response?” He grinned. “Of course not.”
“Ever?”
“No, not once.”
“And she knows that?”
“Yeah. She wanted it that way.”
“Brooke? She wanted you to not pay?”
He nodded and I laughed. He had no idea the hell of a ride that he was in for and for some reason, I knew that Brooke didn’t know, either.
“What time is it?” I asked, changing the subject.
He looked at his phone. “It’s almost midnight.”
“I left Chance at Brooke’s house; I need to go let him out. She’s probably wondering where the hell I am.”
I walked toward the door and he followed.
“It’s not going to be weird now, right? You know…now that we’ve…you know…” I mumbled, facing him.
“Seen each other naked?” he casually replied.
“That and...”
“Fucked?”
“Yeah,” I answered, looking away.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you shy and nervous? Is it because my cock is so huge?”
I smiled. “No, that was a nice surprise.”
“You did come…twice.” He stretched his arms. “Just saying.”
I slapped him in the chest and he fell forward with an oomph.
“Let’s pretend like it didn’t happen. Think we could do that?”
He bit his bottom lip. “Damn…I don’t know, Kid, that booty and that pussy…”
I gasped; I had never heard him talk like that. Something told me that I didn’t experience the same treatment that Brooke was receiving. I started to think that maybe she knew a whole different side to him.
“I’m kidding. To be honest, it was like having sex with my sister.”
“Eww…now you’re being disgusting.”
He rolled his eyes. “Come here.” He pulled me into a tight embrace. “I love you. Nothing and no one is going to change that. You and me, we’re together till the end. Got it?” he whispered into the side of my neck.
I took a deep breath, knowing he meant every word.
Ysabelle wasn’t answering her phone. I called the only other number I knew.
“Hello,” Brooke answered.
“Hey, it’s Sebastian.”
“Hi, how are you?”
“I wish I were better, I’ve been looking for Ysa and she’s not answering her phone. You don’t happen to know where she might be, do you?”
“Oh…she actually just grabbed Chance about ten minutes ago. She said she was taking him to the dog park up the road. Do you know the one?”
“Yeah…” Sadly I did.
“Sebastian?”
“Yes.”
“Ummm…she doesn’t look so good. I don’t know what happened, but I have a feeling that it’s something bad. I’m glad you’re here.”
“Thanks, Brooke. I appreciate that.”
“And Sebastian?”
“Hmmm…”
“Be nice to her, okay?”
“I’ll try,” I said and hung up.
As soon as I walked into the park, Chance came running over to me. I greeted him and frantically looked around for her. She was sitting on a bench in the back corner, leaning forward with her head in her hands. Chance followed me as I made my way over.
“How did you find me?” she whispered, just loud enough for me to hear.
“Brooke.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Why do you think I’m here? I told you I would follow you anywhere.”
“We’ve made it full circle, Sebastian. We’re in the exact place that I saw you with your family.” She finally looked up at me, tears streaming down her face. Her eyes looked desolate. “And now you’re seeing me with mine.”
I cocked my head to the side in confusion and her body fell over, sobbing; it took everything in me not to go to her.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
That did it. I immediately fell to my knees in front of her, placing my hands on the sides of her face, making her look at me. She did.
“My girl…I’ve missed you so much. Please don’t cry. I’m here now.”
“Sebastian, I’m so sorry. You have to forgive me.”
“Ysa, it’s okay; everything is going to be okay.”
She frankly shook her head in my hands, weeping and slightly hyperventilating.
“You have to calm down. Shhh…”
“No. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she repeated in a trance.
“Ysa, I know. I know, baby; it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” she reiterated, still shaking head.
“We’re together it’s fine. Calm down.”
I’ll remember the next words that came out of her mouth until the day I die.
“Sebastian, I had sex with Devon and I’m pregnant.”
I ran. I ran as fast as my legs would let me. I vaguely heard her yelling my name from behind me. Chance was barking as I hit the keyless entry to my car. I jumped in and had the car in reverse before I even had the door closed. The tires skid out as she was running out the gate, still screaming my name.
“I need the address of Devon Hill,” I said to my phone.
“There are two Devon Hills in the area,” the automated voice replied.
“Give me the closest.”
“Devon Hill. 345 Bayshore Boulevard, Miami Florida, 33011.”
“Directions,” I added.
I pulled up to his house and he was walking out as I was parking. I got out of the car, leaving the engine on and the door open.
“Listen, man, it’s not what you—”
My fist collided with his face before he got the last word out. His head whooshed back, taking half of his body with him. He stumbled, shaking it off.
“This is how it’s going to be?” he asked, spitting blood onto the ground.
“Hell yeah; it’s go time, motherfucker. I’ve been waiting for it.”
I charged him, ramming my body into his torso, taking him to the ground. He was prepared for it and he instantly fought back. We wrestled around in the grass for a few minutes, each of us trying to get the upper hand on the other. He was able to get on top of me and got in a few hits to my face.
“I don’t want to fucking fight you! You fuck! Calm down and let me explain!”
I hit him in the gut and he fell forward. I flipped us over, locking him in with my weight. Car tires screeched on the road and I knew it was Ysabelle barreling out.
“Shit!” she yelled, running over to us.
“You fucking son of a bitch!” I hit him. “You fucked her!” I hit him again. “And then you knock her up!” I hit him twice.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” he yelled, blocking another blow.
“Sebastian, stop!” she shouted, trying to pull me away. “I just had sex with him. Tonight! The baby’s yours. I’m pregnant with your child.”
I instantly stopped, both of us breathing heavily, sweating profusely all over the place. I removed myself from him, never taking our intense, crazed stares away from each other. I stood up, needing to take a few steps back to collect myself. She immediately got on her knees and went to him.
“Are you fucking kidding me? You go to him?” I seethed.
She aggressively looked up at me. There was no love in her eyes. Nothing.
“Jesus Christ, Seb
astian; he’s on the ground, you’re standing.”
“When?” I retorted, not having any patience left in my body.
“You want to talk about this now? Are you serious?”
“When?” I snarled through gritted teeth.
She looked down at him and then back at me. “March 3rd.”
“The day we bought the house?”
She nodded. “Yeah, Sebastian, you got one past the goalie on the stairs. Con-grat-u-fucking-lations,” she angrily spewed.
“You’ve known this whole time that you were carrying my child?”
Devon grabbed her hand and she helped him up, she put his arm around her neck and he leaned on her.
“I found out the morning of our anniversary. The doctor told me then.”
I almost fell to the ground, stunned. I watched as she helped him sit on the chair on his patio and then she walked right past me. I grabbed her by the arm.
She roughly pulled it away. “I’m getting him some ice.” She tended to him for the next several minutes and I let her. I was at a loss. I needed to gather my thoughts and regain my sanity. I felt like I was going crazy in some fucked up version of The Twilight Zone.
“I think he might have a concussion and a broken rib, he needs to go to the hospital,” she stated, standing before me.
“Fuck him. Oh, right…you already did that.”
Her eyes widened.
“You fucked another man with my child inside you.” I shook my head, disgusted by the turn of events. “You thought all along that you didn’t know who you are, but the truth is, I didn’t know. The woman I know wouldn’t have kept this secret from me.” I banged at my chest. “The woman I know wouldn’t have run, knowing she was pregnant with my child. A child that I’ve wanted since the moment I laid eyes on her. The woman I know wouldn’t have fucked another man.”
Tears fell down her face.
“You’re a whore. Congratulations, Ysa; you’re a VIP. That’s who you are.”
She wrapped her arms around her tiny frame in a comforting gesture. She looked so small and frail and I quickly thought about my child growing inside her.
“Have you even been taking care of yourself?”
“Of course,” she wept.
“How far along are you?”
“Thirteen weeks.”
“How?”
She lowered her eyebrows and her face wrinkled. “What?” The mascara dripping down her face made her look more beautiful. The pregnancy glow was all around her and I wanted to desperately hold her and kiss her belly.