He shook his head. “I’m not leaving.” For some reason, I knew he was going to say that.
“Oh really…” I mocked. “And what is it exactly that you will be telling your wife? You’re held up with your whore?”
He needed to get off his high horse and realize he was no better than me. We were each fighting for her, except I would play dirty; I would do anything to win.
“First off, Ysabelle isn’t my whore; and second of all, you will need to call the cops to get me to leave, and even then, I’d like to see them try,” he declared.
“You amaze me. Aren’t the lies getting a little much, I mean how stupid can your wife be that she hasn’t caught on to your little discretion yet? How much longer do you possibly expect this to continue?”
“I don’t have to explain myself to you.” He was right; he didn’t have to explain himself to me. However, Ysabelle pretends like she is strong and capable. That’s what she’s conditioned to do, and I could see right through it. I saw right through her, because we were exactly the same person.
“No, darling, you don’t. Ysabelle isn’t as strong as she lets on; who do you think will be here to pick up the pieces when she’s no longer of use to you? I will! I have been here since the beginning, I have made her who she is, and I am not about to see someone with a midlife crisis take her away from me, do you understand me? I have let this go on long enough.”
“All that matters to you, Madam, is if the credit card clears. If you truly cared about her you would have never let her sell herself to these so called gentlemen that do nothing but use and abuse her,” he angrily replied.
The fucker had balls of steel; I’ll give him that…
I cocked my head back in laughter, aiming to intimate the bastard. “And you think you’re any fucking different, Sebastian, what the hell do you think you’re doing? You’re nothing but another man having an affair on the woman he has a child with. What? You didn’t think I knew…I know everything about the men that are with my girls,” I shouted, stepping closer to him.
He covered the shock on his face well. I could tell that he felt defeated though, and I needed to keep pushing those exact same buttons. The only thing that will make a person change is guilt and remorse; he had both.
“You think you’re the first man that has fallen for one of my VIPs? MY girls are the epitome of class and beauty, that’s why I choose them. Don’t think for one fucking minute that you’re any different than my so called gentlemen, as you so call them.”
“Ysabelle matters to me, I care about her more than she’ll ever even know. You know nothing about our situation.”
I knew everything about their situation. He had no clue how much I could relate to everything that they were both going through.
And here was my one big chance to prove my fucking point…
“Okay…I’m game. Leave your wife, Sebastian. Tell her and choose Ysabelle and I will happily release her to you,” I taunted.
I laughed internally because I already knew the answer; it’s always the fucking same.
“What’s the matter, Sebastian? Can’t come up with any excuses fast enough? I love Ysabelle like she was my own. Are you aware that she’s in love with you? That if you asked her, she would give this all up for you? I love her, but rules are rules. She can ask to be released anytime, and it would never occur to her to want to walk away from this, until she fell in love with you.
“If she didn’t want you to be paying for her time then she would be working and you would have no say in the matter. I’m letting this continue because she hasn’t said one goddamn thing about it. I’m not a monster, although, I am a business woman…in that sense you are right, I’m still fucking getting paid.”
Everything I spoke was the truth, I swear on a stack of bibles. If he had told me yes, I would have released her. I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.
He wanted to say so many things, but he was at a loss for words.
“Where’s your wife, Sebastian? I have been in this game longer than you have even been alive. You love your wife; I can even see it now while you’re standing here in your mistress’s home. It doesn’t matter which way you paint it…Ysabelle’s the other woman; she will always be the other woman. Now what you have to ask yourself is how you’re going to end it,” I cautioned.
Sebastian’s face reminded me so much of Mika’s in my office that day. I knew he loved Ysabelle, I won’t deny that. You always have a choice in life- always. He chose his that day. I knew it, he knew it, and soon, so would Ysabelle. It was coming; this wouldn’t last much longer.
“You’re wrong. I love her too. I fucking love her too. Don’t for one second think that I don’t. I know what I’m doing is wrong in so many ways, I don’t need you to remind me, I remind myself every day when I’m standing in front of the mirror.
“I do love my wife and I love my son, but what I share with Ysabelle surpasses anything that I’ve ever experienced with anyone, and that includes my wife. I’m at a loss, I have no fucking idea which way is up anymore. When I think about not seeing her beautiful face every day it destroys me. Call me whatever you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t walk away from her, no more than she can walk away from me.”
We stood there in a staring match before I finally broke the silence, “I have a nurse coming this evening; you have until then. I imagine that’s enough time.”
“I want to stay here the entire time, Madam.”
“I am not a marriage counselor, Sebastian, but you’re already rocking the fucking boat; how about we keep it in shallow water,” I said in an annoyed tone while grabbing my purse. “I’ll let myself out. Give Ysabelle my love and let her know I’ll be stopping by tomorrow.”
I knew I left him with a lot to think about. Sebastian wasn’t a bad person; he was just a man.
Selfish.
He wanted to have his cake and eat it too.
Chapter 41
I didn’t expect it to happen so quickly, but a few days later, there she was, waiting for me in my office.
“Bella Rosa,” I greeted with a hug and a kiss. I took a real look at her. “It doesn’t matter how much makeup you put on, I can still see that you look like shit.”
“Thanks, Madam, I didn’t come for the pleasant conversation. I need you to do something for me, and I will do something for you in exchange, which I’m sure will make you ecstatic,” she stated in a sarcastic tone.
“Oh yeah.”
“I need you to change my number and move me to another location.”
I nodded. “Hmmm…trouble in paradise, I presume?” I was secretly jumping for victory inside. It looked like the ball was in my court, and the tables had finally turned.
“After you do this for me you can put me back on the schedule. I just need some time to clear my head and get my shit together.”
“Well…I’m not much for gloating, but I think this needs to be said-”
“I’m fully aware that I fucked up, all right? There is no need for the I told you sos, call it being young and careless, and trust me when I say it will never happen again.” I nodded. Though it didn’t take away the urge from wanting to say, “I told you so.”
“Are you all right, darling?” I empathized. I didn’t want her to feel this way, but it was a must for her to change.
“I will be.”
I left the room and returned with a new phone and two sets of keys. Presents always make everything better.
“I’ll have all your contacts transferred to that phone and the movers will be there first thing in the morning. That’s the set of keys to your new condo, it’s located in Marquis Residences unit 1613; it’s already fully furnished, and all you need to pack are your clothes and whatever personal belongings you would like to bring. I imagine you want to start fresh, yes?” she nodded.
“All right…well consider this a lesson learned; and a gift from me for coming to your senses,” I stated, handing her another set of keys. I wanted
to believe, but too much had happened.
“It’s an Audi A8, it’s parked in the garage; you can leave the set to your current car and home.”
“Thank you, Madam.”
“Of course, Bella Rosa, I’m always here for you, you know that. Now enough of the melodramatics, it’s not our style; we’re far too pretty for it. The White’s Annual Gala is exactly four weeks away; do you think you will be better by then?”
“Mmm hmm,” was all she could reply with. I knew that she was thinking no other man other than Sebastian had touched her for at least a year. She was nervous, it was radiating off of her and it infuriated me. Where did my strong independent woman go?
“Lovely, I know the perfect gentleman, darling,” I snickered.
“Great. Well then, I don’t want to take up too much of your time, I’ll be going.” She got up to leave.
“Ysabelle.”
She turned. “Hmmm.”
“Don’t ever fuck with your heart again. Do you understand?”
“Of course.”
I nodded and she was excused.
I opened my drawer and brought out my vile. I broke up two thick lines and snorted one up each nostril. I was going to need it for what I was about to do.
This is where you will hate me, again. I blame my mother; she fucked me up. I placed a call.
“Slavic,” he answered.
“Good afternoon, darling. It’s Madam,” I replied.
“Oh yes, I have been expecting your call. How are things?”
“Just peachy,” I exclaimed. “I heard through the grapevine that you were interested in a VIP for The Gala next month. Did I hear right?”
“Yes.”
“Well, Slavic, I have the perfect girl for you. But I need you to do a little something for me. Can you do that?”
“Of course,” he asserted with a devious tone.
“See, when my girls are bad, they need to be punished. You think you could handle that for me?” I warned.
He didn’t say anything; he didn’t have to, because I knew he was rock hard on the other end.
"What do you have in mind, Madam?"
"I trust you to know what to do." Slavic has been on my payroll for some time now, he usually handles the dirty work so my hands stay clean.
"I need some boundaries; you know there are no limits to what I can do when teaching lessons," he stated.
"Don't kill her and don’t hurt her too much."
I know you're hating me as you're reading this, but I don't care. You aren't in my shoes; you don't live my life.
I don't judge you.
You shouldn't judge me.
My mother did something similar to this to me once. I didn’t understand it and I hated her for it. I do believe it made me stronger, though. It gave me the perception I needed to take on VIP. And I don't think I'd be the same Madam without having learned that lesson the hard way.
You pick and choose your battles; I chose mine that day. I hung up the phone feeling more confident, yet despondent at the same time. It wasn't until she came to me after The Gala that I knew I had fucked up.
---
The day she called me to tell me we needed to talk; I already saw it coming. I had her followed throughout that time and I knew where her head was at. She was lost. I had lost her. And she proved it to me the minute she walked into my office. I didn’t want to hear the words that were going to come out of her mouth. Although I prepared myself for it, it didn’t make it any less difficult to hear her say them. If I could go back
and change things, I would; but the damage was done.
I greeted her like I always had. She didn’t need to sense my apprehension and devastation over knowing what was to come.
“We need to talk,” she cautioned as I kissed her cheek.
“And what about, darling?”
She moved to sit on the couch. I followed her, placing my hands in her lap.
“I can’t do this anymore,” she spoke.
My heart broke, it was shattering, and I hid it all behind the façade that I am. I hid it behind The Madam. “Do what, Bella Rosa?”
“I can’t be a VIP,” she quickly stated before she lost the nerve.
I nodded. “And why is that? For the married man?”
“No, for me. That’s over. I appreciate everything that you have ever done for me. I’m not the same person anymore. I don’t know when it happened but I’ve changed. I don’t need or want the same things that I used to. I hope you can understand that.”
“And what is it exactly that you’re going to do now?” I sarcastically questioned.
“I’m not quite sure; I’m going to travel for a while. It’s amazing that I’ve been almost everywhere around the world and I never really took it in. I’d like to do that now,” she explained.
“All right. So you will do a little sabbatical and once you’re done, you’ll come home.”
“I don’t think so. Better yet, I know I won’t.”
“Ysabelle, I’ve been doing this a very long time. You’ll come back, you’ll get bored, you’ll need excitement; you’ll be back. Women like us are made like that, it doesn’t just stop because you want it to, it’s in our blood,” I stated. A part of me believed what I was saying, I told you I play dirty, but always keep my hands clean. I would get her back if it was the last thing I would do.
“I want more, Madam, I want it all.”
I chuckled. “You want the white picket fence, the 2.5 kids, and the husband. Jesus Christ, Ysabelle, have you learned nothing these last few years? I mean how many married men have you been with? Have you ever seen a happy marriage?”
“What happened to you? What happened to make you this way?”
Everything. She had no idea who I was, nobody did, and that’s what made me powerful.
That’s what made me The Madam.
“Oh…now we’re sharing sob stories? Nothing has happened to me, I’m a fucking realist. This is the real world, Ysabelle, I showed it to you.”
She put her hand on her chest. “Oh my God, you knew?” She affirmed, “You knew what Slavic was going to do. You set me up.”
I rolled my eyes and moved back to my desk.
“Why?” she demanded.
“You’re acting like a spoiled child, you’ve learned nothing.”
“Were you trying to punish me?”
I wanted to tell her everything. She had a right to know, but I didn’t. I used my words. It was who I was.
“I’ve told you since day one not to fuck with me or my business. You think I wanted it to come to this? You were my favorite and you repay me with letting all of it go for love. Well, Ysabelle, how’d that work out for you? Was it worth it?”
She hesitated a moment, taking in my hurtful words. “Yes, it was. I learned the meaning of my self-worth. I’m better than this, Madam, I know that now.”
“You’ll be back, they always come back.”
“I’m not doing this out of spite, Madam, I can’t sell myself anymore. I’m thankful for everything that you did for me, because I would be nowhere without you. You gave me what I needed, but I’m done with it. It’s time for me to try something else. Please understand that?”
I sighed deeply. “You will always have a family here, Bella Rosa. I will help you in any way that I can.” Even though I was saying the words, she knew I truly didn’t mean them.
She smiled. “Thank you.”
She hugged and kissed me goodbye. I went to the window and watched her walk out of The Cathouse.
I shed one tear.
This was not game over.
This was just the beginning…
Chapter 42
My hands were shaking so badly that I had to place them under my arms. My whole body felt like it was giving out on me. There were too many emotions happening to me all at the same time. I couldn’t control any of it. I screamed and grabbed the vase on the coffee table, throwing it across the room. I went for anything I could see or was in my way.
I screamed the entire time at the top of my lungs. The servants began knocking on the door.
“Leave me the fuck alone!” I screamed.
I ran across the room to find more things to shatter and stumbled on the broken glass, falling face first. I was thoroughly shaking as I tried to get up; there was broken glass all over my hands, arms, and legs. I couldn’t see the damage I had done to my face but it hurt like a bitch. I slowly crawled to my cell phone that was on the floor and dialed.
“I need you,” I wept.
“Angel, what’s wrong? Are you all right?”
“Please.”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes.” I hung up the phone and rolled over onto my back, just staring at the ceiling.
I didn’t think of anything. I was numb. I sat there in my own self-pity and blood. I heard Mika gasp when the door opened; he ran over and kneeled beside me.
“What the fuck? Who did this to you?”
A moment of clarity was all it took for The Madam to come back.
I smiled bright and big because I just won.
He helped me up and tended to all my wounds for the next hour. Everything would heal; I would be fine, just like I always have been.
I lay sideways on the couch with my head resting on the back. Mika sat beside me with his arm on the back of my head, playing with my hair.
“What happened?” he questioned with caution and sincerity.
“She’s gone,” was all I could say.
He looked confused. “Who?”
“The VIP you so desperately want and remind me of every chance you get.”
“Ysabelle,” he softly whispered.
“Mmm hmm.”
He chuckled, “Angel, you know that’s not true. I don’t want Ysabelle. I wanted to hurt you, and for some reason that I can’t fathom, Ysabelle is your weak spot.” He grabbed the side of my face. “I want you. You know that.”
I propped myself up on my knees and then straddled his lap. I began unbuttoning his shirt. “Show me,” I coaxed.
I started to grind myself on his cock and he pulled me in to devour my mouth. I sensed that he wanted to be gentle with me so I bit his lip, not hard enough to draw blood, but enough for him to know what I needed. He grabbed a hold of my hair at the nook of my neck and yanked. I whimpered in pleasure and pain from the force.