I'd been attracted to him since the train. I wanted him. My body wanted him. I didn't even care that I was a virgin. I didn't even care about Hunter. When I was with Jaxon, I felt like I was soaring through the air at a million miles per hour and I never knew if I was going to crash and burn or land on my feet. It was an exhilarating, exciting feeling. It made me feel like I was alive more than anything else had ever made me feel. Jaxon made me feel like Nancy and just Nancy.
Talking to him yesterday had made me realize just how much had happened in my life and so quickly. I was part of a family I hadn’t even known existed, and while I loved every single one of them, I sometimes felt like I didn't really belong. And I still felt angry towards Brandon. I tried not to, but a part of me hated him for abandoning my mom and me.
I'd grown up and lived my life for eighteen years and I hadn’t even known he was my dad. What hurt more was knowing that he knew I was out there all along and he hadn’t even tried to get to know me. He hadn’t even tried to be in my life. It hurt me to the core. How could he love me if he hadn't wanted to be in my life? Especially knowing what he'd done for Harry. He'd taken Harry from the beginning. As much as I loved my brother, I was slightly jealous. He was the golden child, born of love. I was the one he'd never wanted.
Sometimes I felt like I didn't fit in with their perfect family. I was the odd one out. A part of me felt that, by staying, I was proving myself and my loyalty and winning their hearts and trust. I also felt like Jaxon was a lost soul as well. Maybe, in fixing him, I could fix myself as well.
I rubbed my fingers across my eyes and sighed. I was a mess. I really didn't know what I was doing or if I was making the right decision by staying.
The ringing phone interrupted my thoughts, and I picked it up gingerly.
"Hello."
"Nancy." It was Meg.
"Hey, what's up?" I exclaimed in an overly happy voice.
"How are you doing?"
"I'm fine."
"You don't sound fine." Her voice lowered. "How is Hunter?"
"He's fine."
"Nancy, what aren't you telling me?"
"There's this guy. Jaxon Cade." I sighed. "He's..."
"Who is Jaxon Cade?" Meg's voice grew louder, and I could hear the worry in her tone.
"Just someone I met. It’s fine."
"Nancy, what's going on?" Her tone changed.
"Nothing." I bit my lower lip. I really wanted to tell Meg what I'd found out, but I really didn't want her to get worried or try to handle this for me. I needed to do this by myself.
"Nancy, I think it's time for you to come home."
"I'm fine," I lied and closed my eyes. "I'll be home soon."
"Katie and Brandon have been talking about you a lot. We had dinner with then yesterday. I'm not sure—"
"I gotta go, Meg. I'll speak to you later."
"Nancy, tell me who Jaxon Cade is." Meg's voice was still ringing in my ear as I turned the phone off.
My heart was pounding as I sat up and jumped out of bed. The room seemed to be spinning as I stood upright. I wasn't sure what way was up, and I felt like I was about to faint. I didn't even understand myself and my thoughts. Everything was so confusing to me. I hadn't even realized until that morning that I had resentment for Harry. My heart felt sad at the thought. He loved me more than life itself, yet I was jealous of the relationship he had with our dad.
I sat on the bed and closed my eyes. I could feel tears threatening to fall. I felt sad. And I felt excited. Jaxon excited me. And it was about more than the lust and the sexual attraction. It was about how he made me feel when I was with him. It was about feeling like I was in control for once. This was all me and all him. There was nothing in between us. There was no falsehood. We were both honest about who we were and why we were there. It wasn't pretty, but it was real. As real as the feelings he brought out in me when he touched me. I couldn't leave now. Not when so much was at stake. Not only was I saving my father, I was saving myself as well.
***
I was on my way to breakfast when I saw Hunter walking up the stairs. I slowed my pace and stood back as soon as I saw him. I didn’t want to talk to him. I was surprised that I was avoiding him already; I hadn’t realized that I could be so fickle.
“It’s not like you really knew him,” I whispered to myself as I watched him reach the top of the stairs and head down the other side of the landing. It was weird to me that I felt nothing when I stared at him.
I laughed softly to myself as I thought of all the nights I’d spent writing in my journal and making up poems about our love. All it had taken was a couple of conversations with Jaxon and I was already over Hunter. Maybe that was because I’d never had anything real with him.
I was about to head back down the stairs when I saw Jaxon’s dad coming up the stairs.
“Hunter,” he called out, and I watched as Hunter turned around and walked towards Jaxon’s dad.
“Hello, Mr. Cade.”
“Come. We need to talk.” Jaxon’s dad looked down the hallway and grabbed his arm.
“I spoke to her.” Hunter shrugged. “Everything’s going well.”
“She likes you still?”
“She was all over me.” Hunter grinned. “Though Jaxon was being an ass.”
“He doesn’t know about our conversation.” The older man frowned.
Hunter shrugged. “Makes no difference to me.”
“Blood is thicker than water—unless you’re after revenge.”
I watched as they got closer to me. Jaxon’s father’s eyes were devoid of emotion as he spoke to Hunter.
“Some people will do anything for love, and some would do anything for money.” Hunter nodded his head.
“That is true.” The older man paused. “I have one wish, and I don’t care who gets the job done. Whatever happens is of no concern to me.”
“Whatever?” Hunter paused as a smile crossed his face.
“Whatever.” The older man nodded. “I have no patience for weakness. You have to do whatever you have to do. Even if that means there are other casualties.”
“Even if it’s Jaxon?”
“Even if it’s Jaxon.” The older man nodded. “Do what you have to do.”
I pressed my body back against the door as I watched them. They were so close to me now. If they took a few more steps, they’d see me. I stayed as still as possible and almost burst into tears as I heard Jaxon’s father talk again.
“I better go. I hope to hear some good news soon.”
“Yes, sir. I’m on it.” Hunter’s voice sounded eager, and I wondered exactly what they were talking about. Surely it couldn’t have been me? Would Hunter really try to hurt me now that he knew who I was?
My breathing stopped for a moment as it hit me. Hunter didn’t know who I was. He’d been coached. That was why he had my last name wrong and why he’d said I’d been in his Spanish class. He had no idea who I was. I meant nothing to him.
I could have laughed out loud at myself if the situation hadn’t been so tense. I’d been feeling guilty that I wasn’t as into Hunter as I’d thought, but he didn’t even remember me. I sobered up as I realized that Jaxon’s dad was really serious about getting his revenge. I waited a few minutes and then decided to go to Jaxon’s room. I needed to speak to him right away.
***
“Hi.” I knocked on Jaxon’s door and walked in without waiting for a response.
“I’ve gotten you into a bad habit, haven’t I?” He looked up at me from the floor where he was doing crunches.
I tried not to stare at his bare chest too hard. “I’m learning from the best I suppose.”
“What if I’d been in here f**king someone?” He jumped up and stared at me.
“What about it?” I shot back, feeling angry and jealous. What was his problem?
“That’s not something I want to be interrupted in the middle of.” He snarled at me.
“Well, same goes here. What if I’d been in my room f**king Hunter? I wouldn’t want you interrupting me either.” I hissed back at him, feeling angry and annoyed. I couldn’t believe that I had been starting to think he was a good guy.
“You’re not going to fuck, Hunter.”
“I’ll f**k who I want.” I turned around, ready to leave.
“Over my dead body.” He grabbed my shoulders and turned me towards him. “You’re such a fool.”
“I’m a fool?” My voice rose and I glared at him. “More like you. You’re a fool.”
“I should kiss some sense into you.” His nostrils flared as he looked down into my eyes.
“You, Tarzan. Me, Jane.” I pummeled my fists against his chest in a weak manner. “Take me, you brute. Show me what a man you are. Make me see some sense.” I swung my hair around and rolled my eyes. I saw his lips start to twitch at my act, and his eyes softened.
“You’re silly.”
“I’m just a woman.” I fell against him. “I need you to put some sense into me.”
“I’m willing to do whatever you ask.” He winked at me, grabbed around my waist, and pulled me towards him. “And if that means f**king you senseless right now, I’m happy to oblige.”
“You wish.” I gasped as I felt his hardness against me. “Are you always this hard?”
“Only when I see you.” He grinned and leaned down to kiss me. His lips were soft against mine as I kissed him back passionately. How could I resist this man? “So now tell me why you barged into my room so eagerly.”
“I wasn’t being eager.” I took a deep breath and flushed.
“That’s another lesson I’ll have to teach you. Never chase the man, Nancy. Let him come to you.”
“I’m not chasing you.”
“Really?” He ran his fingers across my lips. “It sure looks that way to me.”
“You’re such an asshole. I swear, if I didn’t want to protect my family, I’d slap you.”
“You can slap me.” He grinned. “I like a bit of rough.”
“You would.” I rolled my eyes.
“In fact, I’d like to try a bit of rough with you.” He studied my face as he spoke. “If you’re willing, of course.”
“What do you mean? A bit of rough?” I frowned.
“You’ll see.” He smacked my ass lightly.
“You’re going to spank me?”
“If you’re a bad girl.”
“Jaxon.” I pulled away from him. “We need to talk.” I took a deep breath and tried to ignore the urge to run my fingers down his chest. My brain was starting to feel hazy again.
“About?” He cocked his head to the side.
“I think your dad and Hunter are planning something.”
“I see.” He stared back at me, unblinking.
“That’s it? Aren’t you going to ask what?”
“Don’t worry about it.” He shook his head and took a step towards me. “We have more important things to discuss.”
“Jaxon, I’m worried.”
“Don’t be.” He grabbed my hands.
“I need to know the plan.” I frowned. “I need to know what we’re going to do. I understand that your dad wants you to use me to get to my dad, but what next? When does this end?”
“Let me worry about that, Nancy,” he whispered against my lips. “I’ve got a plan.”
“What are we going to do about Hunter?” I bit my lower lip.
“I’ve got a plan for him too.” His eyes darkened. “Just don’t get any ideas around him.”
“If he can’t resist me, then what can I say?” I shot back at him, trying to get a rise out of him.
I knew I’d succeeded when he took a step away from me and his face turned to a grimace. A surge of electricity jolted through me as I realized that bringing up Hunter was a sure way to get a reaction from Jaxon.
“I already told you not to play with fire, Nancy.” His eyes were cold. “It’s not just you who’s going to get burned.
***
“I want you to wear this tonight.” He walked to the side of his room, picked up a plastic bag, and handed it to me.
I took it from him slowly, still feeling jolted by his words. “What is it?” I asked curiously, picturing some see-through top or negligee.
“You’ll see.”
I opened the bag and peered in. Whatever he had given me was black. However, it was the other item in the bag that made my heart race. “Is this a whip?” I pulled it out eagerly, examining it carefully.
“Yes.”
“What for?”
“You’ll see.” He smiled, and I watched his eyes light up in mischief. “Tonight is going to be a very educational evening.”
“You’re determined to push all of my boundaries, aren’t you?”
“I just want to be the best teacher that I can be.”
“I don’t want to get hurt.” I looked into his eyes. “I don’t want either one of us to get hurt.”
“Why do you care about me, Nancy?” He frowned. “You should be thinking about self-preservation, not about me.”
“Caring about what happens to you doesn’t mean I don’t care about myself.” I shook my head. “What do you think I should do? Just worry about myself?”