She looked down, turning her attention to count the people below, to give her something to focus on, willing her heart to slow its jagged pounding, and wishing Max would step away before she had to.
But he didn’t move. His voice rumbled again. “Take care with him.” There was an edge to his words, a warning that hadn’t been there a moment before.
“Take care?”
He nodded, and she felt the movement of his head against the top of hers.
“You’ll break his heart.”
Victoria started in surprise, but her grip on the curtains—which had suddenly become deathly—kept her from spinning around or even turning her head. Still looking down, she tipped her face slightly to the side so he could hear her cool words. “Break his heart? What on earth do you mean? Never say you are attempting to advise me on my intimate affairs, Max. The closest you’ve come to any matter of the heart was an engagement to a lover of vampires.”
“Zavier is a good man.” Max’s voice was calm and even in her ear. “You’re too strong for him. You’ll merely tread upon him with your silk slippers and trounce his heart, which he wears much too openly on his sleeve.”
“You never cease to amaze me—”
“Victoria,” he interrupted, still smooth but very firm. “The man is in love with the idea of a woman Venator. Any woman Venator. Had Eustacia been a few decades younger, he would have courted her.”
“You’re crude, Max.”
A short, sharp laugh rumbled. “Perhaps. But at least I speak honestly.”
“Disgustingly so.”
“You would be better off with the likes of Vioget than that milksop Zavier.”
“I begin to wonder why you continue to push me toward Sebastian. Is it some form of punishment?”
“Push you toward Sebastian? I wouldn’t go so far as to say that.”
“It was you, after all, who ordered him to kidnap me last autumn to keep me out of your way.” Max had known well enough that she’d want to be involved in destroying Nedas, but she’d had no idea how tenuous and risky his plans were, and how much her interference could have jeopardized them. So he’d arranged for Sebastian to get her out of the way.
“A task that he accepted with embarrassing alacrity—but, of course, he had his own motives for cooperating. I’m certain he found the rewards worth the risk. That carriage must have been quite comfortable.”
Victoria’s face burned. How could he know she’d allowed Sebastian to seduce her in a carriage? Thank God he couldn’t see her cheeks; they must be red with fury and embarrassment. And how dared he say such a thing?
Did he think that since she’d seen and experienced so much more than other women that her sensibilities weren’t as delicate?
“At least Vioget can recognize your faults,” Max continued in that steady voice, as though he hadn’t just insulted her. “And, aside from that, I wouldn’t bloody care if you were to tear out Vioget’s innards and screw your heels into them. In fact, I’d applaud it. Zavier, on the other hand, the blasted fool, wouldn’t see your faults if you engraved them on his stake. He’s already anointed you and ensconced you on a pedestal.”
“I still fail to see why you should be concerned about my affairs.”
“You misunderstand. It isn’t your affairs that concern me. It’s Zavier’s. I should hate to see a Venator incapacitated due to a broken heart. And you will break his if you continue on this path.”
“You’re so certain of this?”
“He’s not strong enough, Victoria. He’s an exceptional Venator, but he’s not equipped to manage his heart. He cannot see your faults; he will let you run roughshod over him…and, finally, he will bore you with his easy ways, his pathetic doggedness of wanting to make you happy—all the time knowing he could lose you to this dangerous world we inhabit. And that’s what I do not wish to see. For his sake. For ours, as Venators.”
Tears had begun to sting the corners of her eyes, blurring her view of the party below. Burning tears of anger and grief. She blinked and took a long, slow breath, resisting the desire to spin a slap onto his aristocratic cheek like the Society miss she no longer was. “You would have said the same about Phillip had I listened.”
“No.” His voice became sharper and more serious. “Phillip was strong enough. He just didn’t understand the world you live in. If he had…”
Max didn’t need to finish, and Victoria didn’t want him to. She released the curtains and slipped to the side, away from him. She knew very well that if Phillip had understood her life even a little, things would have been so very different. Her eyes stung and her throat felt as though she’d swallowed a ball.
“Victoria, you of all people know what it is like to suffer a broken heart. Take care not to bring the same onto one of your men. You have the power to do it.”
“You forget that this Venator wasn’t incapacitated with a broken heart.”
“Weren’t you?”
She drew herself up to reply…and then deflated. Oh, God, yes, she had been. For nearly a year after Phillip’s death she’d been afraid to raise her stake for fear she’d turn berserker and annihilate anything in her path. The gifts she had, the powers, the strengths, the instincts: They could all be wielded for bad as well as for good. And the rage that had simmered beneath her calm exterior—the rage and hatred and loss—could have brought her down the wrong path.
The tears, silent and thus hidden in the darkness, were streaming down her cheeks now. Victoria had moved away from the gap in the curtains, away from Max and his insistent opinions, his ruthless words.
She drew in a long, deep breath, struggling to keep it from hitching and giving away the fact that he had brought her to this, and moved farther away. She wanted to get away from him, away from his damned truths.
Max turned, and the small slit in the curtains closed, leaving them in total darkness. The only relief was a dark gray essence that came from the direction of the stairs up which she’d come.
“Victoria?” His voice was quiet.
“There’s nothing more to see here,” she replied, relieved at how steady she sounded. “And I’ve seen no members of the Tutela.” She was moving quickly and silently toward the exit and the stairs, focusing on the barest sense of light and her outstretched hands to find her way. “I’ll go down to see what I can find.”