‘I hate you,’ she whispered, and then she burst into tears and buried her face in his shoulder.
‘Dio, you have to stop this, you’re making yourself ill. Ssh.’ He laid her gently on the bed and then lay down next to her and pulled her into his arms, ignoring her attempts to resist. ‘Calm down.’ He stroked her hair away from her face but Holly couldn’t stop crying.
‘I’m sorry I hit you. I’m sorry.’ Her breath was coming in jerks. ‘I’ve never hit anyone in my life before. It’s just that I so badly want you to love the baby. I need you to love it, Cas.’ She covered her face with her hands. ‘You don’t know what it’s like to have a father that doesn’t care. It makes you feel worthless. If your own father doesn’t love you, why should anyone else?’
He gave a soft curse, rolled her onto her back and lowered his body onto hers.
Then he gently removed her hands and wiped her face with the edge of the sheet.
‘Hush.’
Still crying, she pushed at his powerful chest. ‘Cas, don’t—’ But her protest was cut off by the demands of his mouth, and within seconds she could no longer remember why she hadn’t wanted him to kiss her.
The explosion of sexual excitement anaesthetised the turmoil in her brain and she kissed him back, her body responding to his.
Only when she was soft and compliant did Casper finally lift his head.
‘Don’t use sex like this,’ she moaned, and he gave a grim smile.
‘I was trying to stop you crying. Now it is my turn to talk,’ he said softly. ‘And you’re not going to interrupt.’ He wiped her damp cheeks with a sweep of his thumb. ‘I won’t make you false promises of love. I can’t do that, and it wouldn’t be fair to you because I will not lie. But I do promise you this.’ His dark eyes locked with hers, demanding her attention. ‘I promise that I will be a good father to the baby. I promise that I will not walk off and leave the child, as your father did to you. I promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure that the child grows up feeling secure and valued. I accepted responsibility for the child and I intend to fulfil that responsibility to the best of my ability.’
Numb, sodden with misery, Holly stared up at him. It wasn’t what she wanted, but it was a start. And, if he was prepared to do that for a child that he didn’t believe was his, perhaps once he discovered that he was the baby’s father then…
He’d coped with hurt by turning off his emotions. Maybe nothing could switch them back on again.
Her natural optimism flickered to life.
But she could hope.
‘Your favourite lunch, Your Highness. Pollo alla limone.’
‘Yum.’ Holly put down the letter she was writing. ‘Pietro, you have no idea how grateful I am that you decided to leave England and work here for a while. The whole of the palace must be rejoicing. Not that the other chefs weren’t brilliant, of course,’ she said hastily, and Pietro smiled as he placed a simple green salad next to the chicken.
‘I’m not cooking for the rest of the palace, madam. Just for you. Those were the prince’s orders.’
‘Really? I didn’t know that.’ Thinking of all the other thoughtful gestures the prince had made since that terrible afternoon when she’d hit him, something softened inside her. ‘He brought you all the way over here, for me?’
‘His Royal Highness is most concerned about your comfort and happiness. But so are we all. You and the bambino. You say jump, we say “off which cliff?”’ Pietro beamed as he lifted a jug. ‘Sicilian lemonade?’
‘Don’t even bother asking. You know I’m addicted.’ Smiling, Holly held out her glass to be filled. ‘So, are you happy here?’
‘Si, because to see you blooming with health gives me satisfaction. And when the baby comes no one will prepare his food except me! I have talked to the gardeners, and we are designing a special vegetable patch—all organic and grown in the Santallia sunshine.’
‘Puréed Santallian carrot—’ Taking a mouthful of chicken, Holly almost choked as she noticed Casper standing in the doorway.
Sunlight glinted off his dark hair, and he looked so outrageously handsome that her heart dropped.
Why did she have to feel like this?
It was no wonder she struggled to keep a degree of emotional distance when he had such a powerful effect on her.
Right from that very first day at the rugby, she’d failed to hold herself back.
Even now, when she knew he had the ability to hurt her and her child, she was willing to risk it all.
She swallowed the lump of food in her mouth and put down her fork. ‘I—I didn’t know you were joining me for lunch. Here—’ she pushed her plate towards him ‘—Pietro always cooks for the five thousand—we can share.’
‘No, madam!’ Appalled, Pietro clasped his hands in front of him and then remembered himself and bowed stiffly. ‘I can bring more from the kitchen.’
‘Grazie.’ Casper gave Pietro a rare smile and sat down opposite Holly, his eyes on the pile of envelopes. ‘You’ve been busy.’
‘I’m replying to all these children who are sending me pictures and letters. There are hundreds. And look, Cas.’ Relieved for an excuse to focus on something other than the way he made her feel, Holly put down her fork and reached for a pink envelope. ‘A little girl sent me this soft toy she made. Isn’t it sweet?’
Casper’s brows rose as he stared at the object. ‘What is it supposed to be?’
‘Well, it’s…’ Holly studied the pink fluffy wedge closely and then frowned. ‘I thought it might be a pig, or possibly a sheep. I’m not absolutely sure,’ she conceded, ‘But I love it. She’s only six. Don’t you think it’s brilliant?’
‘So you are writing to thank her for sending you a something?’ Casper stretched his legs out, his eyes amused. ‘That is one letter I would like to read.’
‘I’ll think of something to say.’ Holly put the fluffy object away carefully. ‘People are so kind. And talking of kind…’ She bit her lip and looked up at him. ‘Thank you for arranging for Pietro to come here. And for flying Nicky out for a week. That was so thoughtful.’
‘I thought you needed someone to talk to. And she was very loyal to you when you were in trouble.’
‘Is that why you gave her that beautiful bracelet? She loved it. And we had such a good time at the beach. Thank you.’
He seemed about to say something in response, but at that moment several staff appeared with lunch.
Pietro served the prince with a flourish. ‘If there is anything else, please call,’ he murmured and then retreated, leaving them alone.
Casper glanced at Holly. ‘Eat,’ he drawled, ‘Or Pietro will resign.’
Holly smiled, very conscious of his eyes on her. ‘I’d be the size of a small-tower block if I ate everything Pietro gave me.’
‘Does that explain why the palace cats are putting on weight?’
Holly picked up her fork again. ‘I am eating.’
‘I know. The doctor is very happy with your health, including your weight gain.’
Her heart fluttered. ‘You asked him?’
Their eyes clashed. ‘I care, Holly.’