He presses his body against mine and his arms flex as his grip on my hair tightens. “No you don’t. Fuck him. He doesn’t deserve you. You deserve someone better than him . . . better than the both of us, but I’m f**king stingy.”
He runs his hands through my hair and brushes his lips against mine. “Stay here, Aspen.” His breath softly caresses my lips as his breathing picks up. “Don’t leave with him. Let me give you a reason to stay.”
I sigh against his lips, fighting myself. “It’s not that easy. I can’t just throw five years away. We have a lot of history. We live together. He was my first. I can’t just walk away.”
“How do you feel about me,” he growls.
“It was fun, Slade,” I manage to whisper.
Pushing me harder against his truck, he leans into my ear. “That wasn’t the f**king question. Fuck!”
Feeling trapped, I slap him across the face. I don’t know why. I’m just so f**king scared to answer this question; scared of knowing the answer. He always finds a way to push me.
“You like that? Did it f**king feel good?” He presses his erection against me, causing me to moan against his lips. “Harder, dammit.”
Completely lost in the moment, I slap him as hard as I can across the face. It feels good to let my frustration out. Not to mention the fact that his dick flexes from my hit. This man turns me on like no other man can. I’m completely breathless; lost to him.
Without even giving me a second to register his reaction, he picks me up and wraps my legs around his waist. “Here is your reason to stay.”
His hand works fast to pull out his erection before he slips my panties to the side and pushes himself deep inside me. He stops for a moment before rocking his hips back and forth and slamming his lips against mine. My legs tighten around him as my whole body shakes from the feel of him filling me; stretching me.
“Let me make you feel this way every day.” He pushes in deeper before slowly pulling it out and lifting my hands above my head. I’m so turned on right now that I could care less if someone catches us. “Does he makes you feel this way? Does he f**k you as good as I do?”
I shake my head, but don’t answer him. I can’t. I can’t speak.
“Say it. I want to hear you f**king say it.” He leans in against my mouth while rolling his hips in and out, giving me pleasure so intense I feel as if I can’t even breathe. I’m overwhelmed by this man; completely stunned. “Say it, babe.”
“No,” I moan out as he lifts me with his hips and starts moving a little faster. Our bodies are so close that there is no space between us. We’re both desperate for this moment; our last. “No one has.” I lean my head over his shoulder and dig my nails into his back as he works his hips on me.
“Then stay,” he whispers. “Give me a chance to change.”
I shake my head, but he presses his lips against mine, claiming my mouth with his. Once again, this man completely owns me. At this moment, I am almost willing to give him everything; not just my body, but my heart.
With one arm wrapped behind my head, he grips my hip with the other while f**king me hard; rolling his hips and slamming hard into me. He can’t handle taking it slow at the moment and to be honest, neither can I.
“Slade,” I moan out, as my body bounces with each thrust of his strong hips. “Fuck . . .” I grip his hair in my hands and scream out as I feel my orgasm building. The consistent thrusts of his hips and the way he pushes me against the truck with each deep shove, has me ready to explode. “I’m about to come . . . oh shit.” I feel myself clamp around his dick and this only causes his movement to pick up.
I can feel the truck start to move from behind me as he puts all of his anger and frustration into f**king me. His grip on my neck tightens before he moans out and I feel his dick throb as he releases himself inside me. Breathing heavily, we both relax into each other with our eyes locked. I can’t turn away from the beauty of this man in front of me; I don’t want to.
Shit. Why does having him cum inside me turn me on and make me want him even more? I’m so confused.
It’s silent with him still inside me as he leans in once more and presses his lips to mine. They’re soft and sweet, making me want more of them. I always want more. He’s like an addiction. Everything about him just calls out for me; my body needing him to survive. He’s an addiction I’ll have to break. I have no choice. Too bad, I know guys like him will never change. Jay didn’t. I won’t start over with another man that’s just like Jay.
When he pulls away from the kiss, he looks me in the eyes and sighs. He can see my guilt written all over me. He could probably even taste it in our kiss. “You’re still leaving, aren’t you?”
I nod and turn my head away. I can’t do this right now.
“Fucking shit.”
He pulls out of me and gently sets me back down to my feet while pulling his jeans back up. “I don’t blame you for not trusting me,” he says stiffly. “I don’t even trust myself. I don’t know how the f**k I feel. All I know is that with you . . . I feel something and I don’t want to give that up.” He looks away before opening the door for me to get in. “I guess I’ll have to. Me wanting to change isn’t good enough and I f**king get that, but I can’t make any promises. I won’t make one that I know I can’t keep.”
I feel a burning sensation in my chest and it becomes hard to breathe. It’s taking everything in me not to cry right now. As wrong as it was, we both needed that one last time. It’s unfortunate that it felt even better than the last two. I will forever be f**ked after leaving here. Slade isn’t someone you can easily forget about. I already feel that; the pain is too strong to ignore.
* * *
I haven’t spoken to Slade since we got back to the house a couple of hours ago. I decided to lock myself up in Cale’s room and hide. I can’t face him at the moment, because seeing him will only make me want to change my mind about going. I can’t stay though. He’ll only hurt me more than Jay has. Jay made a promise to me this time. I have to believe for the sake of our relationship that he means it. I’ve held on for five years, it has to be worth something.
Right . . .
I’m sitting here on Cale’s bed with my suitcase next to me, staring up at the ceiling, when my phone goes off. My hand shakes as I go to reach for it because I know my time is up. I’m not ready yet. A big part of me is holding me back and telling me to stay.