I roll over on my back, pulling Tripp on top of me for one last kiss. I get this overwhelming but odd sensation to just hold her close while we fall asleep, but then I look beside us to see Lucas leaning against the wall, releasing himself into his fist. The moment shatters and I’m reminded of what this is: a lesson for that asshole.
Maybe I’m that asshole . . .
“Holy shit,” Lucas says, breaking the silence. “I wasn’t expecting so much passion and shit . . .” He pushes away from the wall. “But it works. It was . . . it was pretty fucking hot. I won’t lie.” He adjusts himself back into his pants, putting his dick away that I never even heard him take out, let alone stroking himself off as he watched, but leaves his pants undone since one hand is still in a fist.
Tripp looks at me one last time before rolling off of me and grabbing her dress to cover up. “Well you got what you wanted Lucas,” she says stiffly. “Hope that you’re happy.”
She looks between the two of us, before turning toward the bathroom. “I’m tired. I . . . I think I’m going to bed.”
Lucas looks at me and bites his bottom lip as Tripp disappears into the bathroom. “There’s a lot more to you than I expected. I guess I see why the ladies keep coming around.” He laughs and heads for the hallway. “I guess you wore my girl out for the night. Looks like I’ll have to wait. It’s a good thing I took care of it myself.” He pauses and looks at me one more time. “Thanks, man. I knew you were a good sport.”
I nod my head, but don’t say a word as he lets himself out of my room. He may be thanking me, but I can tell he’s dying on the inside. He felt exactly what I felt as soon as I entered Tripp. It was evident in both of our eyes how much we feel for each other.
Now I just hope we can get back to where we were before it’s too late.
Running my hands through my hair, I sit here completely naked, breathing hard and staring at the door that Tripp—my firecracker—disappeared through.
Fuck . . . That’s all I can say. Fuck . . .
SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
Fighting to catch my breath, I fall against the bathroom door and place my hand over my heaving chest. I thought I could handle this. I thought I could close my mind off and not let my feelings get in the mix, but I was wrong. I was wrong in so many ways.
Alex . . . my best friend . . . was inside of me.
Every kiss, every talented caress of his fingertips, and the feel of him inside me will haunt me for the rest of my life. There are no words to describe the way I’m feeling right now. I feel as if I’ve just made love for the first time, and not just some meaningless romp beneath the sheets . . . but love. I don’t think I should be feeling this right now. Stop! I need to push this far from my mind and remember that this will never happen again. I need to accept what just happened for what it truly was: a lesson for Lucas.
That’s what Alex said it would be. I need to remember that, even though it felt like so much more. So much more.
Closing my eyes, I run both of my hands down my face, letting my dress fall to the floor beside me. Everything in me wants to turn back around and crawl into his arms, naked, and hold him until I fall asleep on his strong chest. I’ve never had this urge after sex. I always kick Lucas out.
If that’s the case then why is this feeling so overwhelming? My stomach is in complete knots just thinking about not being able to be close to him right now. This is a foreign feeling to me after sex. The only thing I can think about after sex with Lucas is getting him out of my bed before he thinks he’s welcome to sleep in it.
Alex is different. He’s always been different and now that I’ve had him in the most intimate way I’m afraid that I’ll only want more from him. I can’t have that and I know it. It hurts so much just thinking about it, but we have too much riding on it. We’re friends. Best friends.
This is all so confusing. What if Lucas knows? He watched the whole thing. “Oh my God.” My breathing picks up as I think about him being there. He had to have seen the way I reacted to Alex. My whole body surrendered to his. He completely owned me, and that is something that Lucas has never been able to do.
I just hope that Lucas doesn’t realize how much I truly wish that he were Alex, or how much I wish that it could be Alex that I’m with and not him. That could mess up everything that I’ve had with both of them over the years.
Playing this off and pretending that I just want to be friends with Alex is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, especially seeing him with other girls so freely.
How am I going to do this?
Pressing my face against the door, I run my hand through my tangled, wet mess of hair and listen to the sound of Alex pacing his room.
Things don’t have to change . . . I can pretend. Right?
THE NEXT MORNING I WAKE up extremely tense and on edge. I guess if you can call it waking up. I didn’t sleep much at all. I spent most of the night watching the bathroom door as if waiting for Alex to come through it. He didn’t . . . and I have to admit that it had me extremely stressed out. A part of me hoped that he would and that everything would go back to feeling normal between us. It made it hard to sleep.
Every time I would close my eyes and try to force myself to sleep, images of Alex on top of me flooded my thoughts, making me sweat. The passionate look in his grayish eyes kept me fighting for air. There is absolutely no way in hell I will ever be able to forget last night, but to Alex, it may just be another night for him. He’s used to sleeping with numerous girls and keeping his feelings out of the mix. I guess you could even call him a pro at it.
Still . . . I can’t help but to wonder how he’s feeling or what he’s thinking. I want to know if there’s just the slightest chance that it meant something to him. I want to know that I wasn’t the only one that felt it.
“Tripp. You over there daydreaming or something?”
I snap out of my thoughts of Alex when I hear Lucas’ voice behind me. He just came out of his room from getting ready for work and I’ve been here in the kitchen making breakfast to keep my mind off things.
I shake my head and force a smile, before looking over my shoulder at him. “No, I was just concentrating on the bacon.” I lie. “I’m still trying to wake up is all.”
Lucas’ arms snake around my waist from behind, and within seconds I feel his lips brush against my neck. “Damn girl . . . you must still be exhausted from last night. You two definitely put on a pretty intense show. No lie. If I didn’t know better I would think you two had something going on.” His hands wander my body, stopping on my breasts. He moans in my ear as he cups each one, giving them a light squeeze. “I can’t wait to have you in my bed tonight. Just imagine the physical pleasure you had with Alex, but with emotions mixed in. That will be us, baby. Just wait.”