His eyes changed from one shade of brown to another so quickly I was caught off guard for a moment. The sound of Emmie asking a question that was directed at me pulled me out of my curious daze and I met her green gaze.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Damn it, I wasn’t normally so spaced out. I blamed Liam Bryant. He’d done something to warp my brain.
“I was asking if you needed anything,” she said with a small, exasperated sigh. “I’m not used to touring with a female lead, so if you have any problems with anyone, be sure and let me know. I don’t put up with anyone disrespecting the chicks I’m responsible for.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, a little miffed that she thought she had to be responsible for me. “Thanks for the offer, but I can take care of myself.” I’d been dealing with dickhead musicians most of my life. I could handle anyone who tried to fuck with me.
Emmie’s lips lifted in a yeah right kind of smile, but she didn’t say another word about it. I wanted to tell her that she didn’t need to worry about me, that not only did I have self-defense training but I also carried pepper spray with me everywhere I went. I didn’t because she didn’t seem like she would have cared one way or another. I shrugged and took a seat on the sofa as she ran down a list of dates, scheduled stops, and what was going to happen in between.
When she left, the buses started up and soon we were on the road. I sat in the living room with my band for a few hours but couldn’t force myself to concentrate on the conversations going on around me. All I could think about was how affected I’d been by Liam Bryant. How affected I still was.
And how hurt I was that he’d turned his back on me after I’d basically thrown myself at him.
The asshole.
CHAPTER FOUR
LIAM
I was holding her hand so tight that at first I didn’t realize she was moving her fingers. When they flexed in my hold, my heart leaped, and I lifted my eyes to her face, hoping she would have those beautiful brown eyes open for me.
They were still closed, her eyes moving rapidly behind the closed lids. I stood and leaned over her. “Brie, I’m here. Come back to me, baby. Please. I love you so damn much. Come on, look at me.”
The movement stopped just as suddenly as it had begun and the monitor on the other side of her bed made a noise that had my heart stopping. Bells started ringing in warning and that beep-beep-beeping I’d found a little annoying when I’d first come in disappeared.
“No,” I cried and tightened my hold on her hand. “Don’t do this. Come back. I need you, Brie. I fucking need you.”
The glass door behind me opened, and the room was filled with nurses and doctors. “Code Blue!” the doctor shouted before snapping out orders. I knew I was in the way, but I couldn’t find the strength to let her go. If I released her hand I might never get the chance to hold it again.
Someone pushed me out of the way. “Sir, you need to wait in the waiting room.”
“No!” I pushed against the nurse’s hold. “She needs me. Fuck, I need her. Please,” I begged, forcing back a sob. “Please, I can’t leave her.”
“She’s in cardiac arrest, sir. There is nothing you can do but get in our way. You have to wait outside or I’ll be forced to have security remove you.” Her grip on my arms tightened and she gave me a firm shake, surprising me with her strength enough to pull my eyes from the scene that I knew was going to haunt my dreams for the rest of my life. My little Italian goddess looked so small and fragile on that hospital bed. Pale. Lifeless. “I can see that you care about her, sir. But if you want to give her a chance to ever open her eyes again, you have to let us do our job.”
“Clear!” Dr. Schiller yelled before I heard the sound of defibrillator paddles being pressed to Gabriella’s chest. The zapping sound filled my ears, and my eyes were glued to the small body on the hospital bed. Bile rose in the back of my throat as the doctor pressed the defibrillator to her chest again. She jerked as if she’d been electrocuted, but the sweetest noise reached my ears and I fell to my knees in front of the nurse still holding onto my arms, tears pouring down my face.
“She’s back,” Dr. Schiller announced. “Let’s get her back into surgery. I must have missed something.”
Two pairs of stronger arms jerked me to my feet and guided me out of the ICU as the medical team rushed Gabriella out of the room and down a different hall than I was pushed in. A door opened and I was suddenly standing in front of Dallas, Marissa, and Alexis Moreitti.
“What happened?” I thought I heard Emmie demanding of the two security guards still holding onto my arms.
“Miss Moreitti went into cardiac arrest. Her heart stopped but the doctor was able to bring her back. She’s been taken back into surgery,” the nurse who had tried to get me out of Gabriella’s room explained, but I didn’t look at her.
My eyes were trained on Alexis, Gabriella’s best friend and the only person she really trusted in the world. She had a cane in one hand, still needing that small assistance to move around after the car accident that had nearly taken her life all those years ago. At the nurse’s explanation, her face paled even more than it already was and her eyes filled with tears.
I had expected her to start cursing at me, to hit me. Anything. I would have welcomed it. She’d never really liked me and I couldn’t really blame her. Instead she began to sway and I jerked away from the security guards still holding onto my arms. As those brown eyes so like her cousin’s began to close, I caught her against my chest.
Lifting her into my arms, I carried her to the closest chair and sat down with her in my lap. I might not have been able to do anything for Gabriella right then, but if I didn’t help Alexis, Gabriella would be pissed. I held her against me, carefully stroking her long, dark hair back from her delicate face. To look at this beautiful woman you would never really understand how strong she was. On the outside she looked so fragile, so easily broken.
Like her beloved cousin, Alexis wasn’t. She was one of the strongest chicks I’d ever met. It had taken guts and an inner strength that few people possessed to survive the things she had fought through—and still continued to fight with every day of her life.
Annabelle produced a wet paper towel and pressed it against Alexis’s forehead. The nurse who had come with me from the ICU ward waved something under the woman’s nose and Alexis groaned before opening her eyes. Instantly, tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks.
“Liam,” she sobbed brokenly and buried her face in my chest. “She has to be okay. S-she has to.”
I pressed my trembling lips to her forehead and tucked her closer. “I know, Lee-Lee. I know.”
***
Time passed slowly. Dawn came and so did more of Seller’s security team. The events from the night before had officially hit national news, and now the entire hospital, not just the ICU floor, was on lockdown.
I sat in a chair next to Alexis and held onto her hand. I wasn’t sure who was holding on the tightest, her or me. I didn’t care. All I knew was that if I let go of Alexis then it was like I was letting go of Gabriella. She must have felt the same way, because if I so much as shifted in my seat, her hand would clench at mine harder.
We were each other’s last connection to her.
A nurse came in every hour to let us know that Gabriella was still in surgery and gave us an update on their progress. She’d been shot twice with a .22 and the bullets had not only bounced around inside of her, but also fragmented. One of the fragments was still in there, causing unknown trouble. They had pinpointed where it was, but because of the size of it and the location they had to be extremely careful. Which was what was taking hour upon hour of nerve-racking time to finish.
The sun was fully up when Devlin, Natalie, Linc, and Zander walked through the ICU waiting room door. I didn’t notice anything until I heard Annabelle’s vehement curse.
“Motherfucking sonofabitch. Cock-sucking dickhead.” I lifted my eyes from the tiled floor to see the cute little bl
onde glaring at Zander as he stood in front of her with wide, amazed eyes. “Seventeen years, you asshole. It’s been seventeen years with not so much as a phone call and all you can say is ‘looking good, babe’?” She stepped into his personal space and stood on tiptoes to get in his face, seething with an anger I didn’t understand. “Fuck you, Zander Brockman. Fuck. You.”
Annabelle turned and practically ran from the room, leaving a stunned Zander standing there with a pained look on his face. I glanced at my other two bandmates who shook their heads at me. Obviously they didn’t know what that had been about any more than I did.
“You people sure know how to keep things interesting,” a new, deep voice grumbled as Jared Moreitti stepped into the room.
Alexis released my hand and was across the room faster than anyone would ever think possible. Her husband wrapped her tightly in his arms and held her tenderly against him as she began to cry again. She clutched at his shirt, holding on for dear life while he whispered softly in her ear.
I leaned back in my chair, scrubbing my hands over my tired face. Natalie, who had been having a whispered conversation with Emmie since she had arrived, sat down beside me. Even the sight of her tiny baby-bump peeking out of her shirt didn’t have the power to distract me as she patted me on the shoulder. “How are you hanging on?”
I shook my head. “I’m not, Nat. I’m slowly losing my mind.”
Linc crouched down in front of me. “You need to go for a run or something, man. You’re getting twitchy.”
I glared at the man who had become one of my best friends in the world. Without his help I might have fallen back on the drugs a long time ago. But he stayed on my ass, making sure that I worked out every day and was always around in case I needed to talk when old cravings started fucking with my mind.
Right now I might have gone looking to score something to numb my mind if it weren’t for one thing: I wasn’t going to leave this hospital, this damn waiting room. Fuck the drugs. I didn’t need them—even if I did crave them at that moment worse than I’d ever craved them. All I wanted—all I fucking needed—was for Gabriella to be okay.
“I’ll be fine. I’m not going anywhere,” I told him.
Devlin dropped down in the chair on the other side of me. It didn’t surprise me that he was there. We’d put our past behind us after my accident more than a year ago. Why should I hold what had happened with Tawny against him when that bitch hadn’t really meant anything to me? Maybe we weren’t as tight as we had been when we were teenagers, but we were close enough to make me glad that he was there now. “You look thirsty. How about some coffee?”
“No.”
“I can order you something to eat?” Natalie offered. “Anything you want, just say the word.”
I shook my head. “No, I’m not hungry.” She opened her mouth, probably to offer me something else, but I cut her off. “Thanks for being here, sweetheart, but I don’t want or need anything except for Brie to be okay. Unless you can make that happen, then please, just stop.”
Natalie’s chin trembled for a moment and I felt bad for making her cry, but before I could apologize she forced a smile for my benefit and leaned her head against my shoulder. “I’ll just sit here and hold your hand. Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” I cleared my throat. “Thanks,” I whispered.
They were all quiet for a long while, sitting with me and offering me the only thing I could accept right then.
Their love for me.
CHAPTER FIVE
Gabriella
That stupid tunnel thing was getting really fucking annoying.
I was tired of hearing noises but not really hearing them. Nothing made sense and it was seriously giving me a headache. Why couldn’t I make out even so much as one word? I knew people were talking, but I couldn’t understand the words or identify the voices. And even more annoying was that damn beep-beep-beeping sound that was once again driving me crazy.
I wanted to yell at someone to make it all stop, to just let me sleep, but I couldn’t find the energy to open my eyes to see who was standing over me.
At least that floating feeling was gone. That had been a little scary and I was glad that I felt like I was back in my own body. Liam was gone, though, that much I did know. If it meant that he was still with me I would have gladly gone through that scariness forever.
It wasn’t always like that, though. There was a time I would have pushed him out a window to get away from him. A few times during that first tour through Europe and then Australia I’d been tempted to do just that. The drugs had made him a real douchebag at times…
***
SEVEN YEARS EARLIER
Have you ever felt like you could conquer the world?
That was the way it felt when I was out on stage, whether it was performing some classical piece for an audience of two hundred or with my band rocking out with thirty-thousand fans. It was exhilarating—a natural high that kept me stoked for hours afterward.
We were five weeks into the three-month European tour. I was having the time of my life, and so were my bandmates. Opening for OtherWorld and Demon’s Wings was no easy feat. Having to be the ones that got the crowd riled up for the real reason they were there was a definite challenge. It was one that I was determined to accomplish every night we stepped out on stage.
Tonight we had definitely succeeded. When OtherWorld was ready to take the stage, they were chanting my name, begging for one more song. Considering that the fans were there to see OtherWorld, not me and my band, that had been a thrill in itself.
By the end of the entire concert I was still flying high on the exhilaration and ready to go out partying with everyone else. A party bus was waiting for us all outside the back parking lot where our tour buses were parked. I’d taken my time getting ready so I was one of the last to climb on.
It was a madhouse inside the party bus. There were three stripper poles with talented chicks working them, with more strippers already giving some of the guys lap dances. I didn’t know why we were going to a club when we had our own club right here. Booze was flowing freely and the noise was almost enough to rival that of the crowd earlier. It looked like fun and I was so ready for some fun.
Someone handed me a beer and a shot glass full of tequila. I downed the tequila and chased it with my beer as the bus started moving. Martin, my bassist, and Doug, who was my drummer, were sitting closer to the back of the bus with Jesse Thornton, Shane Stevenson, and Wroth Niall. Martin called out for me to come back and join them, and since I didn’t have a better option I slowly made my way back there.
When one of the strippers on the second pole kicked her legs out into an upside down split, I was momentarily halted. Glancing down at who I’d been stopped in front of, I found myself staring into a pair of blue eyes that had been haunting my dreams for the last five weeks.
Liam Bryant was lounged back with one stripper practically sitting on his lap. He had a beer bottle in one hand and a bottle of absinthe in the other. From the look on his face, he was half out of his mind already, and the way the stripper was all over him I knew that at least one rocker was going to be having sex on this bus tonight.
Jealousy churned in my stomach but I met his gaze boldly, trying to show him that I didn’t care what he did. No way was I going to let him know that I was still affected by him walking away from me that first day.
The stripper, a beautiful French chick, shifted enough that I could finally get by and I started to pass her. One jean-clad leg shot out and a booted foot bumped into my thigh with just enough force to send me toppling over into someone’s lap, dropping my beer along the way.
I shot a glare at Liam, who’d kicked me. He gave me a smirk and went back to letting his stripper press her very fake tits into his face. Muttering a curse under my breath, I looked up at the guy who’d caught me and nearly groaned.
Axton Cage was grinning down at me. “Wow. This is a surprise, and it’s not even my birthday. Lucky me.”
I
pushed against his chest, unable to mistake the smell of good whiskey on his breath. He was just as drunk as everyone else on the bus. His arms tightened on me when I tried to get up. “Let go,” I snarled.
“Make me.” Axton’s hold on my waist tightened even more and he lifted me easily so that I was practically straddling his lap.
For a split second I thought about staying there. I’d discovered over the last five weeks that Axton Cage wasn’t all that bad of a guy. He flirted a lot, drank just as much, and was always mooning over Emmie Jameson when he thought no one else was looking. I kind of felt sorry for him. Kind of. It might have been fun to just get lost in this rock god for a few hours.
From the back of the bus, Martin called my name again and I snapped out of my musings. Axton Cage might be fun for a few hours, but he wasn’t the rocker I wanted to have fun with. Stupidly, I still wanted to be with Liam.
Fuck, I was such a masochist.
“Let her go, Ax,” I heard come from the chick sitting beside Axton, and I turned my eyes on Emmie Jameson. She was sitting tucked between the rock god and Nik Armstrong. She was drinking a beer and looked bored to death. “She’s not up for happy time with you tonight.”
Axton’s bottom lip pouted out, but his hold on me slackened. I got to my feet, nodded my thanks to Emmie, and went back to join my bandmates. Doug handed me another beer and I took the free space between him and the Demon’s Wings drummer.
It was safer beside Doug than it was Martin. I didn’t want to give him so much as the tiniest hint that I was interested. I wasn’t and never would be. That didn’t seem to matter to him. The guy was starting to skeeve me out. As soon as we got back to the States I was definitely going to find a replacement for him.