“There’s Jamie, the pussy.”
Everyone laughed, most not knowing what that word really meant. I hadn’t. My parents didn’t, or they didn’t care.
My name is James, I said in my head. Not paying attention to my surroundings made things worse because Mr. Payne was suddenly there.
“There are ways this can stop, Jamie.”
“My name is James.” There, I’d said it.
“But everyone calls you Jamie, and doesn’t it fit?”
“I have to go,” I said.
He caught my arm, holding it hard enough to hurt. “I can make this stop if you do something for me.”
There was nothing I would do for him expect stomp on his foot, which I did. When he let go, I ran.
“You will pay,” he said, and I did.
When I felt a hand on my shoulder as I lay in bed, I fought until I heard my name. But not my name.
“Striker.”
I opened my eyes.TenConnorBlinking off the remnants of sleep, I felt the arm I held and let go. Lizzy pulled back and rubbed the spot where my hand had been.
“Sorry,” I muttered, rolling out of the hammock to get to my feet. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I’m more worried about you.” Yet she still rubbed at the area I’d gripped.
“It was a bad dream.” That wasn’t a lie. Memories showing up while sleeping were still considered dreams.
“A really bad one.”
I nodded, hating that I hadn’t gone to the boat like I’d said. My foolish need to be close to her in order to protect her had cost us both.
It had been a few years since the past had haunted me the way it did now. And I should have stayed far away from her to keep it from hurting her.
“You should go get some sleep,” I said.
“Why don’t you come to bed? It’s really not fair that you’re out here in a hammock and I’m in a bed. Chivalry is great, but it doesn’t make me feel good.”
Chivalry had nothing to do with it. I didn’t want my nightmares to cross into the present and Lizzy be caught in its crossfire. “It’s okay. I’m not going to sleep anyway. I have work to do.”
“Work? It’s what the fuck o’clock in the morning.”
I remembered the night I’d seen her in my loft. She’d said something like that to Griffin. “Some of us have night jobs.”
“What? The club? Do you work at the club you had me visit?”
“I own the club.”
“Oh, of course you do. What was I thinking? That a billionaire’s son actually had a nine-to-five?”
“Says the millionaire’s daughter who owns her gallery in her twenties.”
She aimed a finger at me. “You know my age, don’t you?”
I shrugged. “You graduated from Boston University, what, last year?”
Her jaw dropped.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I said. “It’s all on your website. You know, the ‘about me’ page?”
She shut her mouth.
“Now go to sleep. Sorry I woke you.”
“One day, I’m going to find out more about you,” she said before heading inside.
That was a day I hoped she would never see. My life wasn’t the thing of fairytales like my brother thought. I had real life demons who I’d like to one day slay because of that boy, Lonnie, I’d been unable to protect.
Our years at the school hadn’t been kinder to him than to me. Though I’d grown taller, he’d remained smaller than most. And though he hadn’t seemed as though he had the strength of other boys our age, he’d managed to take his life. He hung himself, unable to endure one more night of torment.
Instead of me saving him, he’d eventually saved me. His suicide confession about the abuse he’d suffered had led to an investigation by his angry parents. He hadn’t told them. They’d found out the truth in his final letter.
Though Mr. Payne was removed from the school, Lonnie hadn’t written the given names of the boys. He’d written their nicknames, like the ringleader, Ruin. Even with his sacrifice, no one else, including me, came forward. Shame had been my excuse.
I wasn’t strong enough then to come forward, but I’d vowed I would be stronger in other ways. I would fight. I no longer roomed in the younger boys’ group dormitory as I was too old and been moved to an individual room on another floor. Yet I spent my nights camped in front of doors of that dormitory to make sure not another boy would be harmed. I also spent a lot of time in the gym, building up muscle in order to back up the threat I wanted to pose.
Nowadays, I watched the little monsters who’d tortured me then. Some of them hadn’t given up the appetites they’d learned from Payne. They would all pay if it was the last thing I did.
I forced those thoughts away and went to the boat to get the satellite phone. My first call was not to my brother, who had enough on his plate with a new bride, but Griffin.