I was so lost in my own shit-storm, I didn’t notice Jared placing his hand on my shoulder. I turn my head, glaring at his hand. I know it is just a gesture of reassurance, but nothing would assure me she was okay—at least not until I had her in my arms.
“I know you love her. There isn’t any reason for you to say it out loud. Just know if you don’t get yourself healthy, you will be useless to her and to me.”
My eyes leave his hand and lift to his face. He’s looking at me as a friend. Talking to me as a friend, not as my employee. I know why it’s because we were friends. Always have been, so was Mack. I don’t trust people for a reason. Trusting Mack got me into this situation. What if trusting Jared pushes me into my own grave?
“You know nothing about love or my love for her. I will get better, and I will find her. I will kill Mack. Then, I will move on with my life, never thinking back to this moment,” I growl, so angry with myself and with Jared. It’s an irrational thought because Jared has done nothing wrong.
I catch a glimpse of a smile crossing his face and if I wasn’t in the condition I’m in, I would wipe the floor with his face.
“You’re so right. I know nothing of love. Nothing about it,” he says, taking a couple steps back as he heads for the door. “I can tell you love will only get you so far. If you love her as much as you say you do, you will heal. There is no way Mack will kill her—you and I both know it. He took her for a reason.” Jared’s trying to reason with me like I’m a child, and I force myself to continue to stare at the wood grain on the floor.
“Eli called earlier. He is following a lead, trying to figure out where Mack is hiding,” Jared says.
Mack shot Eli too, which pissed him off royally. Luckily, the bullet that hit Eli went straight through and didn’t hit anything vital. The fucker was out and about a week after he was shot.
“Good, at least I have someone out there looking for her.” I know Eli is not doing it for her; he is out for blood because Mack betrayed us, betrayed him. Either way, Mack will lead us to Amara, so I’m thankful for Eli being out there.
“All of your men are looking for her,” Jared points out.
“You mean the few men I have left?” I say bitterly. Between killing Luccio, Mack’s betrayal, and me disappearing, my empire is crumbling. Men left me, not trusting I was fit to lead them anymore. Only the most loyal men stayed. “It’s not enough. I should be looking for her.”
We are in Jared’s home and everything in it represents him. I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll say it again, he is right. Gritting my teeth, I force out the words I’ve never said to anyone. “Thank you… for helping me. For not giving up on me.” I lift my face, my eyes landing on a photo on the wall. It’s one of him and his mother before she was killed. Just like mine.
He looks similar to her. Dark hair and eyes. Beautiful as ever. I try to think back to how he started working for me, but it’s been so long, I don’t even remember how it all started. All I know is that he is one of the good ones, and to be caught up in this mess isn’t fair to him. I owe his family more than that.
“Enzo, get better, get the girl, and be happy. You have nothing to thank me for.” He completely dismisses me and turns around to walk out of the room to leave me be.
As much as I think being alone is the right thing, it feels wrong. Thoughts of Amara come rushing to the surface, and I wonder what she’s going through. How much longer can she hold on? Is she even still alive?
It’s those thoughts that remind me how much I love her. I will do whatever I can to save her, and then apologize to her for my actions. I refuse to allow her last memories of me to be of the evil monster because, though it may be true, I’m also someone else. I’m a lover, and I love her.“How does your leg feel?” Jared asks as he sets a bowl of soup in front of me. It’s been a few days since I started walking around again, and I’m just getting used to moving around more and more. My muscles ache, and sometimes, I feel like I might collapse, but then I think of Amara and all she must be going through.