Brandon was on the football team. Not the captain or anything. He was big, like muscular, but also built like a house. One of the guys that protects the quarterback. Not sure what he was called, because I always spaced out when he talked about the game. He was hot, a bad boy for sure. He said he thought I was way more beautiful and talented than any of the cheerleaders, and—once more, for the people in the back!—I was instantly smitten.
We were the “it” couple. When the pretty dancer girl and the football player hooked up, the popularity came with it. I was hanging out with the popular kids, the football team and with them the cheerleaders. But the not-so-popular kids still liked me thanks to my little sister, Twyla. Sweet Twyla. If you looked up nerd in a dictionary, there would be her portrait. But God, I loved my little sis. It was us against the world. Yes, I teased her constantly for always concentrating on her studies instead of any type of social life, but I was still good-natured about it. I was never mean. If anyone were to be mean to my little sis, they would regret it. And I had the entire football team to back me up.
Anyway, back to Brandon. Brandon took over as far as all the rest of my firsts. The first time I was ever actually fingered—thank you very much, seventh-grade bully. The first time I ever had sex.
A few years later, the first time I moved in with a guy.
The first time my hair was pulled.
The first time a guy ever made me cry with his angry words.
The first time I was separated from all my friends and family with threats and guilt.
But I stayed. And even more years later, I thought if I could improve our sex life, he’d be nicer to me, so I suggested some things I’d read in my naughty books. Books I read to escape my reality, since by then, I had nothing else to do.
So then came the first time I was choked unconscious.
The first time I was truly forced into having sex when I didn’t want to.
And finally, the first time I was beaten black and blue.
So with my boy-crazy personality, I got what I guessed I deserved—a crazy boy.
And after that, I swore never to fall in love again.Chapter 2DocI pull into my driveway, using the huge cement width to back my car in between my SUV and my old truck, where I can sit for a moment and watch the beauty flit around the kitchen through the window. It’s the only window I don’t digitally fog over until I’m home, knowing no one else can see inside from this angle, since I have the entire property locked down like a fucking fortress. I sit here every evening for a few moments just to watch Astrid dance around as she makes dinner, my heart nearly bursting at the seams when she orders Scout to sit, shake, switch paws, and then bark before rewarding him with a taste of whatever she’s cooking. The Australian shepherd looks like he has a smile on his face as she scrubs his head with both hands before placing a kiss between his mismatched eyes and then dances away to whatever music she’s playing over my system today.
I pull up my app, seeing it’s Timbaland and Katy Perry singing “If We Ever Meet Again,” and I glance up to match her lips to the lyrics. I could sit here and watch her forever. It’s the only time I see her truly relaxed, not a care in the world unless she does something she deems “wrong” in the kitchen.
Like the time she browned the grilled cheeses darker on one side than the other.
And could barely look me in the eye the entire time we ate.
She flinched when I went to run a soothing hand up and down her arm, telling her it was okay, that she didn’t need to cook dinner for me every night anyway—like I have for the past year.
A year of pure torture in which I wouldn’t let her leave—not that she fought me much.
A year ago, Astrid’s abusive ex found her, several months after she and her sister landed here in our small town outside Ft. Vanter. I’d hidden her away while my security team took care of him, and after everything was said and done, I couldn’t let her leave. At first, it was because everything was up in the air with Brandon, her ex. We didn’t know what his sentencing would be, so she stayed while we awaited his trial. At the same time, her sister, Twyla, moved in with Seth, the technological genius behind Imperium Security—the cover for our mercenary operations—and co-owner of Club Alias, our BDSM club.