But I can’t. I’ve got too much work to do on myself before I can confuse my emotions by giving in to my desire. Our desire for each other.
I jump at the sound of his deep, low voice. “There a reason you needed to steal that towel, goddess?” he asks.
He knows damn well why I needed to take it with me. He saw the evidence up close and in technicolor not fifteen minutes ago. “I didn’t steal it. You saw I asked permission before borrowing it. And I just didn’t want to get your fancy leather seats sweaty,” I snap, and I swear it takes everything in me not wipe that sexy knowing look right of his face… with my pussy.
We reach the house in minutes, and I jump out before he can even turn the truck off, sprinting to the door and typing in the code, my heart racing as I push the door open and enter the house before he has a chance to keep up. Scout greets me excitedly, but I only spare him a quick pat on the head as I make it to the stairs before I hear Doc close the door behind him with a chuckle.
A fucking chuckle.
He’s laughing at me as I take the stairs two at a time, my legs trembling after getting their first real workout in nine years. I hurry to my room and slam the door closed, twisting the lock and falling backward against the cool wood, finally breathing out a huge lungful of air in relief. Locked inside. Locked inside for a moment to get my freaking bearings. And as I take stock of all my emotions, all the feelings coursing through me, the one that stands out above all is the ache I feel deep in my core. God, how I want that man, how I need that frustrating, sinful, delicious, protective, and soul-soothing man deep inside me, using his body to erase everything that came before him.
I need relief. I’m too wound up, feeling those sweet, sweet endorphins Neil had told me about before the class rushing through my veins. I push off the door and stumble over to my bed, feeling high or drunk or intoxicated—it doesn’t matter. I just know if I don’t get some kind of release, I’ll do something I’ll regret. I’ll do something to ruin all the progress I’ve made in the past two days.
I open my bedside table drawer and lift out the makeup bag I have stored there, opening up to reveal it contains something much different that a bunch of cosmetics.
My vibrator falls into the palm of my hand as I turn the bag over, and I grip it like it’s the holy grail. And I don’t care I’m a sweaty mess. I don’t care that my ponytail clings to my neck, that sweat still drips between my breasts. I yank down my workout shorts and my panties in one move and step out of my flip-flops, clambering up on top of my bed covers and pushing the button to turn my little savior on.
I take the tiny silver bullet between my fingertips of my right hand, reach down between my legs with my left, and pull back my hood, feeling how embarrassingly wet I am and having to readjust to get a better grip to expose my clit. And when I touch the vibrator right… there, I have to turn my face into my pillow to muffle the long, relieved moan that leaves from deep within my chest. My toes curl into my comforter as my head presses back into the pillow, and images fill my mind as my eyes squeeze closed, shutting out the room around me and the fact that I’m alone. My head instantly transports me back, back to the first time, the only time I got to experience Neil’s kiss, one year ago.“Don’t look at me like that,” I mumble, seeing Scout, Neil’s Australian shepherd, watching me as I slip my sneakers on and tie the laces. “I’ll be back before your daddy even gets out of his session. I just need a few things from my apartment.” I roll my eyes. “Maybe I’ll find my sanity while I’m there, seeing how I’ve now resorted to talking to a damn dog.”
I texted Neil, asking when his appointments would be through for the day. He said an emergency session had been booked and he wouldn’t be home until sixish. A new shipment of my products had been delivered to my apartment this morning, and I need to package up a few orders today so Neil can take them to the post office for me in the morning.
I toss my cell into my purse and then grab one of the several sets of keys hanging on the wall next to the door, this one with the least fancy emblem on the remote. I’m sneaking off with one of Neil’s cars, so the least I could do is not borrow the Audi or the one I can’t pronounce. The Chevy truck would work just fine for me, and hopefully he’ll never even know I used it. Why one man would need two cars, a truck, and an SUV, I’ll never know. But right now, I’m just grateful there’s a vehicle for me to drive instead of having to walk to my apartment. Even having a restraining order in place, and a security team keeping an eye on Brandon, I still have an eerie feeling, and I’ll listen to my gut enough to at least not walk the streets in the dark.