“You ready to go, Bails?” my dad asks, startling me from my thoughts.
I look around my bare room as if seeing it for the first time. Sorrow fills my heart but then I take a deep breath.
“Yeah,” I reply. “I guess so.”“So, kiddo,” my dad asks jovially. “You excited for your new adventure?”
I roll down the passenger side window and stick my arm out of the car, allowing the warm breeze to cascade through my splayed fingers.
“Yeah,” I say absently. My mind is still on the letter, which I plan to send as soon as I get to my dorm.
My dad, driving a car packed to the brim with my belongings, smiles at me, and I will myself to smile back. His happiness radiates from him like sunlight. I know how proud of me he is for going off to college. Would he still be proud if he knew what I’d been doing the past several months--if he knew who was occupying my every thought?
“What’s the first thing you’re going to do?” Rick asks.
Cry. Send the letter. Cry some more.
“Probably just unpack,” I say, watching out the window as other cars merge onto the highway. “Maybe take a nap.”
“I hope your bed is comfortable,” my dad says. “Those twin-extra-longs can be pretty unforgiving.”
“Great,” I murmur.
“You okay, kiddo?” my dad asks. Rick reaches over to grab my hand, and I let him, promising myself that I won’t start to cry.
“I’m fine,” I assure him, and myself. “Just a little nervous. That’s all.”
“You have nothing to be worried about. You’re a smart, kind, and capable young woman. I’m sure you’ll do well in your classes and make lots of friends right away. Who knows?” my dad says, his tone suddenly sly. “Maybe you’ll even find a boyfriend.”
I wince as invisibly as possible and pull my hand away, but not before giving his a squeeze.
“That’s your nightmare, isn’t it?” I say.
“I just want you to be happy, that’s all,” my dad says, smiling at me. “And I hate to say it, honey, but no boyfriend of yours can be worse than that Donnie kid.”
I laugh, harder than I expect to, and genuinely return my dad’s smile.
“Hey, he wasn’t that bad,” I protest, and when my dad snorts in disbelief, I laugh even harder. Somehow, Rick always knows what to say to get me out of a funk.
But the cloud over my head keeps drizzling, and soon I’m staring out the window again with my arms wrapped around myself. We’ll be arriving at my new home any minute now. I wonder what Christopher is doing right now. I wonder if he misses me. I wonder if he cares.
“What are you going to do when you go home without me?” I ask my dad to distract myself.
“Oh, you know. I’ll sit in your room and miss you,” he says, and nudges me playfully in the side. “Nah, Chris is coming over later with a bottle of whiskey. I think we’re both going to miss you being around.”
My heart somehow leaps and sinks simultaneously, and as we pull into the circular driveway in front of my dorm, I press my fist to my mouth to keep myself from saying anything.
If only my dad knew.
One good thing happens though. As we pull up in front of the dorm, my friend Kara happens to arrive at exactly the same time. She bounces over, all bright and bubbly, before skidding to a halt when she sees my dad.
“Hi, Bailey,” she says. “Hi Mr. Prescott.”
My dad, who is usually a friendly guy, says hi but then looks away with harsh streaks on his cheekbones. I look at him, perplexed. Usually, Rick is an outgoing, gregarious person. He has to be because he works with people as part of his job. As an ER doctor, he says that maintaining a positive demeanor is almost more important than any medical advice he gives.
“Are you ready to start college?” my friend asks. Kara is as beautiful as ever, with her long blonde hair and cornflower blue eyes. She’s wearing short-shorts and a tiny t-shirt, which highlight her perfect figure.
“Yeah, I am,” I say, even if I’m lying through my teeth. “Thanks for dropping me off, Dad,” I say. “I’m going to go with Kara to get the keys to my new dorm room. Are you going to wait here?”
My father nods, and for the second time, I notice a darkened flush across his cheekbones.
“Sure,” he says, crossing his arms as he leans against our car. “I’ll be right here.”
Kara and I turn to go, to look for the housing office. As we begin walking, I notice that Kara’s looking a little flushed too. Her cheeks are pink and there’s a sparkle to her eye.
“Is it hot today?” I ask.
She shoots me a look.
“No. Why?”