Wake up and start smelling the shit, T.G.!WEEK 14 ON THE JOB, and as pathetic as it was to admit, I still hadn't found a way to wean myself off Dmitry even after months - months! - of being ignored, scowled, and glared at.
Granted, I did get some encouragement from Sasha, who once told me not to take things personally, but...
I bit back a sigh as I remembered what had taken place that day. It was just last week when Dmitry's younger brother and the other men making up Strakh Inc. had a meeting at the "battle room", a.k.a. the place where the world's strangest job interview had taken place.
You'd think Dmitry would at least try toning down on the hatred while the others were around, but yeah - didn't happen. He had still acted as if I were the grossest thing on the planet, with the way his lip had curled every time I entered the room, and the way he had scowled and glared whenever he caught me speaking with any of the other guys.
It was almost as if he was just waiting for me to betray Strakh Inc. so he could have an excuse to pounce and hang me for dear life. And Sasha, seeing this, was so moved - either by my tenacity or idiocy - that he had taken me aside before leaving.
Please don't take it personally, Dmitry's younger brother (he was Voice #1, in case you hadn't figured out that part yet) had told me with quiet insistence. He's only like this because you remind Dmitry of someone he knows, and the memories associated with that person are far from good.
All the while Sasha was speaking, I remembered thinking at that time how his voice had sounded so much gentler. So, so gentle that it was impossible not to understand what he wasn't saying without words...
I reminded Dmitry of an evil ex-girlfriend, and this was Sasha's way of telling me that while he knew I'd do everything I could to get his brother to stop hating me...
It just wasn't possible, and maybe it never would be.I HAD ONCE FOOLISHLY thought that if I understood why Dmitry hated me and found his reason was valid, that would be enough, and my attraction to him would die a natural death.
Yeah.
Right.
That was just purely wishful thinking on my part. I was already on Week 16 with Strakh Inc., and nothing had changed. I'd make coffee in the morning, Dmitry would get a couple of F-bombs in before lunchtime, and in between analyzing financial statements and working on my forecasts, I'd usually struggle with my Hamlet-like temptation.
To stare or not to stare, that is the question.
The one time my gorgeous but mean-as-hell boss caught me staring at him, Dmitry had stared right back...at my neck. Really hard, too, until it became obvious he was mentally estimating its size (S or XS?) so he could start shopping online for a noose. My noose, in case you're wondering.
So yeah, lesson learned after that.
And what I learned was...not to stop staring. Instead, I just worked harder these days at being sneaky and making sure that I was all subtle and discreet when my obsession got the better of me, and I just had to find a way to stare at him.
He was just so, so...hot.
Just something about him that drew me in like no one else, something about him alone that's just...ugh.
Back when I just started working for him, I had really thought my obsession with him was like this summer flu I could eventually recover from. But obviously, that didn't happen, and my crush on him only kept growing each day until it was now the size of the state of Texas.
My next strategy had been to try understanding the source of my attraction to him. I was hoping that if I could somehow find out why I found him so attractive, I could then start searching for - and dating - a guy who was similar but a lot less prone to cursing at the sight of me.
Originally, I had put it down to the fact that he was one of the men that made up Strakh Inc., and the dangerously exciting double life he led - dashing billionaire by day, fearless vigilante by night - was what attracted me the most.
But then I'd be asked to stick around for one of those rare Strakh Inc. meetings at the battle room, and no matter how long and hard I made myself stare at the other guys...
Sasha was a gentleman through and through, but I could only look at him as my brother from another mother.
Stelios Diamandis (aka Voice #2), a smooth-talking Greek billionaire, never failed to charm a smile out of me, but that was it.
Drake Morrison, the one whose voice was too casual, turned out to be ex-FBI, and while I no longer found him intimidating, the only other feeling he inspired was sadness. The pain that haunted his gaze never seemed to go away, not even when he was busy making fun of my "Mrs. Doubtfire" glasses.