And all for what?
“Adam, I’m so—” I try, reaching for him, but he just shakes his head, giving me one last hurt look before he turns and walks away.
I cover my mouth, squeezing my eyes shut and freeing the tears before I open them again and watch him walk away from me, his hands in his pockets, head hanging between his shoulders.
And I just let him go.
Because I know in that moment that I don’t deserve to ask him to stay.“I’VE MISSED THIS,” I say on a wistful sigh, drawing circles on Kip’s chest while he plays with my hair. I’m balanced on one elbow, looking down at the masterpiece that is his body. It’s early in the morning, and the sun is casting the hills and valleys of his abdomen in shadows and bursts of light.
Perfect.
“What, staying up all night having sex?”
“Well, yes, that,” I admit. “But I mean this — lying next to you, cuddling, talking.” I tap his nose. “Getting to see you in these specs.”
Kip smirks, adjusting his black-framed glasses higher on his nose. “I can’t see your beautiful face without them.”
“You wore contacts a lot this weekend.”
I pout with the realization, and Kip laughs, leaning up to kiss my lips briefly. “I didn’t realize you loved my glasses so much.”
“My four-eyed blond thief.”
“Thief?”
“Yeah. You stole my heart.”
Kip smiles, shaking his head before he pins me in the sheets and slides between my legs, kissing all over my neck. “That was so fucking cheesy.”
“But you loved it.”
“I did,” he agrees. And then he props himself up on his elbows, his sea blue eyes watching mine. “And I love you.”
I answer with another long, telling kiss, inhaling him in and wishing we could stay just like that forever. But my plane leaves in four hours, and by the end of the day, I’ll be across the country again.
My chest splits with the anxiety of being away from Kip, especially after having the most perfect week together. He showed me around the UCLA campus, let me get a sneak peek of his current film project, introduced me to all his brothers — who he complained liked me more than they did him. We played beer pong and flip cup and had a very college Thanksgiving, complete with pizzas and whiskey instead of turkey and wine. We spent time at the beach, taking a surf lesson that made me realize I much prefer the warm water of the Atlantic to the freezing water of the Pacific. Not that we don’t get glimpses of cool water during the winter months, but for the most part? It’s perfect.
Here, you need a wet suit. And that’s not nearly as much fun as a bikini.
As much as we saw over the past week and as much as we did, my favorite moments were the ones just like this — me and Kip in his bed, holding each other close, saying more with silence than we ever could with words.
I met Rick the second day I was here, and once we became quick friends, I told him I’d book him a room downtown and give him five-hundred dollars if he’d get lost for the week and not tell Kip what I did.
Let’s just say I’m a little selfish when it comes to this boy, and I wanted all the alone time we could get.
Kip groans when we break our kiss, holding me tighter. “I don’t want you to go.”
Another zing of my heart.
“I don’t want to go, either.”
We both sigh, then fall silent, knowing there’s no other choice.
“What if you came to semi-formal in a couple weeks?”
Kip brushes my hair from my face, frowning. “I wish I could, babe. It’s finals time, and I’ve got to submit this project. It’s going to take up every hour of my day once you leave.”
“Did I distract you this week?”
“Yes,” he says quickly, kissing my nose. “But it was worth it.”
I sigh, tracing the muscles of his shoulders and traps with my finger. “I’ll ask Bear. He’s always down for a good time. Although, he’s been sort of distant this semester.”
“Family stuff?”
“I think that’s part of it. But I also think there’s more.” I pause. “I know it sounds crazy, but… I think something might have happened between him and Erin.”
“Erin?” Kip asks, arching a brow. “As in Ex?”
“The very one.”
“Why do you think that?”
“I don’t know. They just… look at each other weird. I know that sounds stupid, but they formed this random friendship, which was odd enough, and now they barely talk and when they’re in the same room, it’s awkward. I can’t explain it.”
“Well, let me know what you find out on that.”
I sigh. “I will. Erin and I have been talking more, hanging out more… we have a lot of stuff still to work through, but it’s getting better.”