My body is on point, and all those Pilates classes have paid off.
The red, velvet strapless dress clings to my body in all the right places.
I look at myself in the mirror and can’t believe what a different person I am.
The old me wouldn’t look twice at this dress. The new me wants to be sexy.
The old me wouldn’t be craving a man…heck, she wouldn’t have known how to crave a man. But the new me has been introduced to the ways of the world—of sex and of love. My eyes have been opened.
I see what all the fuss is about. And the wetness happening between my legs is evidence of how much I do want Finn.
He’s the only one of the three guys to have contacted me, and that makes me feel good.
I’m surprised at his request to take me to the opera, but I’m not going to complain. That doesn’t mean, however, that my nerves aren’t in overdrive.
I’m surprised that Finn called, and also I’m increasingly nervous to see him. I’m no longer a virgin. He and his brothers took care of that. And yet I think about the night that we shared together all the time.
My heart begins to race, and my pulse quickens every time I think about those lips and what it felt like to have all those hands on my body and, most importantly, the feeling of their 12-inch cocks sliding in and out of me.
I thought I’d never see the guys again—and then Finn surprised me, and now here I am, shopping for an opera dress.
The salesperson says, “That looks gorgeous on you. Absolutely stunning. You’d be mad not to get it.”
“You think?” I say, turning around in the mirror.
“Definitely.”
I know she’s trying to get me to buy the dress, but I also know that this is the winner, the perfect dress to capture Finn’s interest.
“Okay, I’ll take it. Thanks for your help,” I say to her.
Finn. He told me to get a dress, and I did. Sometimes, I think I’d do whatever he asked. I feel this incessant need to satisfy him, to be his.
Once I change back to my clothes, the salesperson takes my gown and wraps it up. Another purchase, another day. Having money makes everything better, even if I had to sell my body to get here.
I’m just lucky that my guys turned out to be so great. And now it looks like things with Finn might continue into something more.
I dare not hope it goes past the opera, but it’s nice to have something other than Anders in my life to focus on.
The town car picks me, and I’m happy to go back to the apartment. I know everything will be quiet, because Anders hasn’t shown his face for days. That doesn’t mean I’m not worried about him, but then, he’s always on my mind.
Once inside the apartment, I inspect the place and realize quickly he’s not there. It’s too clean for him to be home.
A part of me always hopes that he comes home and that he’s decided to turn away from his horrible lifestyle. Maybe it’s naïve, but I can never stop hoping that my brother gets better.
I put my shopping down on the table and look around the apartment to make sure he’s really gone.
“Anders? Anders, are you here?”
There’s no response. Only silence reverberates throughout the apartment. I’m not surprised.
I knew he’d be gone. He’s always gone. The problem is I can tell his health is becoming worse.
The addiction is starting to take its toll on his mind and body. He’s not the same brother I’ve always known. He’s turning into a different person, a meaner version of himself.
I ache for someone to talk to. I wish I had people in my life who care.
I don’t know what to do about Anders. I don’t know what to do about the business. And in this space, I feel utterly alone.
Checking the time, I realize my date is approaching. I hop into a quick shower and allow the water to wash over my body. I take care to shave all the most intimate parts of my body, and I find myself dreaming that Finn will touch me there.
Instead, I touch myself and, with the warm water flowing, I move my hand in circles, rubbing my clit and thinking of him.
It doesn’t take long once I imagine his muscular body, his cock, and his blue eyes. I come easily, my heart pounding. And I want more, but there’s no time.
I turn the water off and sit for a moment on the shower floor, letting my breath even out once again.
As I think of him and what might commence tonight, I feel on edge and as though my senses are heightened. The prospect of seeing Finn makes me feel nervous. The last time I was with him, we were surrounded by other people, his brothers.