These guys, the masked men who will deflower me, paid three billion dollars for me. So I’m guessing they’re expecting something beyond jeans. Besides, I’ve waited my whole life for this moment.
I might as well dress the part. And a part it is.
I’m playing a character.
That’s what I tell myself.
That’s what will get me through this evening.
“Sexy, you say?” he says. “That’s surprising coming from you, Aurora, but trust me, we have everything you’ll need. Let’s start with lingerie.”
By the time I leave the store, I’ve had two glasses of champagne, a bag full of black lingerie, and a corresponding lace black dress.
Playing dress-up is fun, and I’ve determined to give myself over to the character of the wanton virgin. That’s all this is. It’s me playing a character.
I can be a sex symbol for one night. These guys are never gonna really know who I really am.
My nerves are at an all-time high. I haven’t been able to eat a thing all day. I don’t know what to expect, and it’s driving me crazy.
What does it feel like to lose one’s virginity? What does it feel like to have it done by three guys at once? And how is it gonna be when love is out of the picture?
I stop by a coffee shop and order a chamomile tea, hoping it’ll do something to calm my nerves. I take it to-go and walk home in a kind of silent rage.
I’m raging at Anders, at what he’s done to my life. I need to stand up to him and to tell him that this is all his fault. My older brother is supposed to protect me from this kind of thing.
Instead, I find myself protecting him.
I walk into the familiar Park Avenue building where I’ve lived all my life. The doorman, Henry, is as nice as ever.
“Aurora, nice to see you. Have you been out shopping?” he says kindly.
“Oh, yes,” I say, suddenly feeling embarrassed of my recent sexy purchases. “I just picked up a few things.”
“That’s nice,” he says.
“Oh, Henry, I have a date tonight. There’s gonna be a limo arriving for me. Please tell me when it gets here,” I say.
His eyes widen at the prospect of my date. It’s funny how a doorman gets to know your life so intimately. He’s watched me grow up, after all.
I get into the elevator and think about all the things I’d like to say to Anders. He deserves my wrath, and yet I’m not sure how to give it to him. It suits me fine to stay away from drama and conflict.
But suddenly, it’s encroaching upon my life in a way that’s forcing me to face it.
I don’t expect Anders to be home, but to my surprise, he is. I can tell he’s home by the way he’s messed up the place.
I find him in the kitchen going through everything we have.
“Anders, I’d like to talk to you,” I say, trying to hide the hesitancy in my voice.
He looks up at me with glassy eyes, and I see this might not be the time. He’s high.
He’s not even here with me.
The familiar feeling of my heart dropping is there. Every time I see him like this, I feel worried. I think I’m losing a little piece of my brother every day.
What would my parents do if they were here?
“What do you want to talk about?” he says, stuffing his face with a sandwich.
He looks like hell. He looks like he’s been out for a month straight without a shower.
“Well, I just think you should know that I don’t appreciate you selling my body like this. I have a date with those men tonight, and they’re gonna take my virginity, and I’m very scared. You should’ve protected me from something like this,” I say, feeling proud of myself for summoning the nerve to talk to him.
He turns to me, and there’s wickedness in his eyes. I hate when he gets like this.
“Aurora,” he nearly spits the word. “You think you’re such a good little girl, don’t you? Without mom and dad here, there’s no use trying to impress them anymore. You’re losing your virginity to the tune of three billion dollars. You should be happy. You should be thanking me that I made us this rich.”
My eyes fill with tears as I realize there’s nothing more I can say to him. He’s in a foul mood, and he’s being mean. I turn to go to my room without another word.
I stuff my feelings back down inside like I’ve been doing for years. I try to set him out of my mind. My brother can be such a jerk.
Sad and full of emotion, I run a warm bath, complete with rose petals and all manner of essential oils. Maybe the bath will melt away my anger.