“Seriously. How is this fair?” Violet motions to me.
“How is what fair?” I look down at myself.
“You ate just as much as me. Where’s your food baby?”
I run a hand self-consciously over my tummy. “Food baby?”
“Yeah. Food baby. You don’t have one.”
“Um…”
“Don’t listen to her. She’s bitchy because of the engagement party.”
“And Alex wouldn’t put out last night. Don’t forget that part.” Violet swims over to take a pool noodle. Except she stops right in front of me and grabs my knees. “Holy shit!” She wrenches them apart. “Is that a hickey?”
High up on the inside of my thigh is a large reddish-purple mark. I totally would have brought my bathing suit with the skirt if I’d been thinking. “It’s a bruise.” Made by Randy’s mouth.
“Liar!” Violet sticks her head between my legs and pokes at it. “That’s totally a hickey! Did Balls lick your beaver? Did you let Balls ball you?”
“Oh my God! You’re the worst!” I’m laughing even though I’m embarrassed, because Violet is the most ridiculous human in the world. I put a hand on her forehead, intending to push her away.
“Uh, Violet?” Alex’s deep voice makes us both turn.
Darren’s hands are tucked into his pockets, and he’s wearing a secret smile. He looks over at Charlene and raises an eyebrow. She does the same in return. What is that about?
Miller’s expression is priceless. His mouth is hanging open. “What the shit do you girls do when we’re not around?”
“Stop being a pervert, Buck! She has a h—”
I clamp a hand over Violet’s mouth.
“I can’t watch this. I feel dirty right now. I’m waiting in the car.” Miller turns around and walks back into the house.
“Baby, c’mere.” Alex crooks a finger and beckons her over.
Violet doggy-paddles to him, and Alex crouches to meet her. His eyes immediately dropping to her floating boobs. His gaze shifts back up. “Is there anything you feel you need to tell me?”
“About what?”
“I don’t know; maybe you did some experimenting in college?”
“Oh my God, you’re as bad as Buck! Lily has a hickey! Near her beaver!”
“It’s a bruise!”
Violet looks over her shoulder at me. “Fine. It’s a bruise. Made by Balls’ balls slapping on your thighs!”
Alex glances in my direction, his brow furrowed. I take the opportunity to slip into the water and avoid looking at him. I don’t need him to know anything about what did or didn’t happen with Randy’s balls.
Charlene comes to my rescue. “Don’t listen to her, Alex. She’s giving Lily the gears. And she likes to say balls, although I’m sure you’re familiar with her mouth. On yours.”
“Nice, Char.” Violet turns back to Alex. “Gimme kisses and then go hit some balls with sticks with fat heads.”
Alex puts his hands under her arms and lifts her out of the water to her waist. It’s impressive. He whispers something to her.
“You can slide your monster cock between them later if you pet my beaver.”
Alex grins and drops her back in the water. She goes under and comes up spluttering. “No boob sex for you later! My beaver’s hiding in her den for the rest of the weekend!”
“Uh-huh. We’ll see about that.”
Darren’s still wearing that half-grin. He winks at Charlene. “See ya later, sexy.”
She blows him a kiss and bites her lip as he saunters away with Alex. Darren’s always so quiet. It makes me wonder what the deal is with him.
Violet slides a noodle under her knees and another under her arms. Then she closes her eyes and tilts her head back. “This engagement party is ruining my sex life.”
I float on my stomach with a noodle under my arms because my boobs are molehills compared to Violet’s mountains. “Shouldn’t you be excited about it?”
“Alex is more than excited enough for both of us, and so are our mothers. It’s insanity. Whoever heard of an engagement party with a guest list of more than two hundred people?” Violet scratches her arm. “I’m going to do something to embarrass myself and Alex.”
“You’ll be fine, Vi,” Charlene reassures her.
Violet gives her a look. “Seriously? Do you even remember my mom’s wedding?”
“What happened at your mom’s wedding?” Sunny asks.
“Oh, you know, the usual. I humiliated myself in front of all of my parents’ friends.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” I offer.
“I told my mom I didn’t want to give a speech, because I’m not comfortable getting up in front of that many people. But she was convinced I’d be fine because it was all people we knew.” Violet shakes her head. “When it was my turn I got up, tripped over the bottom of my dress, and face-planted into Buck’s junk. It set off a chain reaction. He stumbled into the podium and knocked it over, and it landed on the cake! I ruined my mom’s wedding.”
“You didn’t ruin it, Vi. It was just a hiccup,” Charlene says.