“I didn’t.”
“Wealthy or not, apparently, they’d racked up huge debts to none other than Boris Jagger. And stupid as they are, they’d tried to stiff him. But Jagger had a different idea. He has a type and I was it. He gave my parents an out and they…” He took a deep breath. “They gave me to him to pay off their debts. Jagger took so much fucking pleasure in telling me that over and over.”
Hollis turned onto his side to wrap both arms around him.
“At first, I was in shock, you know? I was in that crazy house he lives in and my parents had just sold me like I wasn’t a human being. I don’t even know what they told people. We didn’t have other family, but people in our circles knew about me. Later, I found out they’d made up a story about me going off to school. I disappeared, basically. To everyone but Jagger. And at first, he wasn’t bad. He gave me my own room and I had no idea what to expect. But…that is…Jagger doesn’t just jump his new kids. He seduces. He gets off on that seduction, that…chase. By the time a kid sleeps with him, they think it’s their own choice. I was like that at first. He showered me with gifts. He saw that I loved to cook and he brought in exotic spices and bought me the best cookbooks. I really believed that he loved me. And well, when he moved into sex, I was sixteen, horny all the time and…it was good. You have no idea how much shame I carry around to this day because of that.” Ian stopped and took a deep breath.
Hollis kissed his forehead, leaving his lips there for long, sweet moments.
“It wasn’t always good, though,” he said quietly, pressing against Hollis’s mouth. “I don’t even remember when it changed, but it did. It was bad, Hollis. So bad. I went from being cherished to shared. I don’t even remember the first time, but I remember later ones. He had these parties, and I never understood how so many men were okay with what was happening at them. But I found a way to get out of some of them. I studied cooking. I worked hard to be so good at it, Jagger would let that be what I did for his parties. I hated the people who came to them, hated the old men who touched me like they had every right to, who didn’t hesitate to throw me over the nearest table. And inevitably someone came into the kitchen and took me in whatever way they wanted.”
This time Hollis flinched and made a pained sound. Ian decided to keep more of the bad details to himself—at least for now.
He took a deep, shaky breath. “But one night, I was cooking for one of Jagger’s parties and I met Lucas. He walked into the kitchen to search out who had made the stuffed mushrooms. He had this expression on his face and I knew he hadn’t known what kind of party he’d walked into. God, the fury coiled in him. I was so scared. He came in, talked to me, and he stayed. At first, I thought he was like the others—that he would end up forcing me—but I convinced myself it would be okay. At least he was gorgeous, you know?” Ian laughed softly. “But he wasn’t like the others. He stayed in there with me to keep them out. I quickly figured out he didn’t go for young men. And neither did his friend. Snow actually caused a huge ruckus when he discovered what was happening in the bedrooms.”
He broke off; memories of Snow bashing in heads were good ones, welcome ones. “Lucas and Snow, for some reason, just sort of, I don’t know, loved me. Right away. Rowe did, too, when they brought him back. I was so shocked to see them, but they made it clear they were only there to get me. To this day, I don’t know what they did to release me from Jagger. I was hitting my expiration date—I knew that. I’d heard the stories. But Jagger still seemed pretty interested in me. I was sharing his bed every night.”
He stopped, nestling his face into Hollis’s neck. “I don’t think he kills any of the boys he gets tired of—I think he sells them off. But a few of the men who work for him started out where I had been. Can you believe that? They were so brainwashed, they stayed. How is that even possible?”
“I worked with one who had,” Hollis whispered into his hair.
Ian was silent a long time. He closed his eyes when Hollis pressed another soft kiss on his forehead. What he felt for Hollis, what he wanted with Hollis, was too damn big.