Noah closed his eyes, his tongue frozen in his mouth because he didn’t know what to say, how to breach the gap he could feel between them despite skin-on-skin contact. This back and forth passionate, tender, then remote Rowe was an emotional wrecking ball.
Rowe abruptly braced his hands on either side of Noah and stood. He ran his hands through his hair. “Sorry. I had a bad fucking day. Got called out on an emergency this morning that took forever and Gidget didn’t get any further with her digging. It’s like Jagger has better hackers working for him or something.”
He paced across the room and back and when he looked back at Noah, the shields had gone back up in front of his eyes. “Did you eat? Andrei picked up burgers for us at work. He does that a lot when Lucas goes out of town.”
And just like that, the awkwardness of earlier returned like an unwelcome relative. Noah sat up and snagged the brown throw off the back of the couch so he could cover up the hard-on that hadn’t had time to go down. He felt like all the air had solidified in his chest. He watched as Rowe cleared his throat and again ran his fingers through his hair, sending all those beautiful red strands up and all over the place. “Do you want to invite him over?”
Rowe shook his head. “He filled in for Sven in some of the training classes and said he had a date with Lucas’s big tub.” He started toward the kitchen then abruptly stopped and stared down at the basket of clothes. He reached down and picked up a pair of socks, his gaze locked on them like he’d never seen them before. “You fold your socks like this?”
There was something in his voice that sent alarm skittering through Noah’s entire system. He stood, the throw falling to the floor. “I do. But those are your socks.”
When that taut body started to shake, Noah rushed toward Rowe, but his friend turned and the thunderous expression on his face stopped Noah in his tracks. “You did my fucking laundry? Why? You’re not here to take care of me.” He held up the socks that Noah had folded over at the openings instead of rolling them into balls the way he’d seen Rowe do it in the past. “And you fucking folded my socks like this?” His voice actually broke on the last word.
Noah stood still as a dark confusion filled his legs with lead. “Rowe?” he asked quietly.
“This is wrong. All wrong.”
Daisy trotted up to Rowe, wagging her tail, her eyes locked on the socks and that’s when Rowe made the most horrific, strangled noise in his throat. He dropped the socks and stormed out the front door.
Noah could only stand there, stunned. He had no idea what had just happened.Chapter 17Rowe stopped his truck at a red light and pounded the heel of his hand on the steering wheel. The knot of pain in the middle of his stomach took up too much space, making it hard to breathe. The last argument he’d had with Mel had been about the way she folded his socks—the exact way Noah had. Seeing the rows of his socks on top of the rest of his folded laundry had twisted up his guts. He liked them rolled all the way into balls and she said they fit better in the drawer her way. She was right, but he’d been stubborn. Over something so fucking small.
And now, he had lost it over that small thing. With Noah, who’d looked completely stunned. He had no excuse for acting the way he had. None. He kept seeing the anguish that had flashed in Noah’s eyes before he’d slammed out of his house. He worried that image would burn a permanent brand inside him.
Damn. He hated hurting him.
But he also hated feeling like this. All twisted up and confused. Hot one minute and breaking into a cold sweat the next. This…thing with Noah scared the shit out of him. He’d had passion like this with only two people in his lifetime and the first time had been years ago with Noah. They’d burned up the sheets just one night and it had left him feeling so confused, he hadn’t known how to handle it. Later, he’d met Mel and been deliriously happy. He’d loved her with all his heart. Fuck, he’d loved her. And it had nearly killed him to lose her.
He could love Noah just as much. He knew it.
The terror that sliced through his chest stole his breath. He needed to figure out what to do. He needed…he didn’t know what the fuck what.
When he spotted the turn off for Newport, he knew exactly what he needed. A friend. He called and made sure Snow was home. It was time to come clean and get some blunt advice and the doc would be perfect.