There was a part of his brain screaming for him to avoid this conversation, to get back to the task of figuring out how to deal with Marcus, but the part of him connected to his mouth was hurting and scared. It was the same question he’d been asking himself for the past couple of years, and he didn’t like the answer.
“I’m not,” he replied with a certainty that surprised even him. “I’ve been on this job for years, and I’ve done things that probably would have bothered me on day one, but now…I don’t even blink an eye. It’s all about the objective, the target. I don’t think about the people. Sergei wasn’t a person to me today. He was a target. I didn’t think about the man in the Métro bathroom that I likely crippled. I didn’t think about the people in the car that went off the side of the mountain. You’ve reminded me of what I am. I wish I could blame the CIA for turning me into a killer and a liar, but I was the one making the choices every step of the way. I could have walked away, but I didn’t. I stayed and I did all those things.”
“Hey!” Daniel pushed to his feet and quickly approached Edward. He placed his hands on either side of Edward’s face, his touch so damn sweet and gentle. Edward tried to back away, tried to get out of Daniel’s touch, but Daniel snapped at him. “No! You’re going to listen to me.”
“Daniel…”
“You’re a good person. Deep down, I know it. Okay, you did some not-great things, but I’m sure a lot of them were done in the name of protecting your life or the lives of a lot of grateful Americans.”
“But maybe I should have handled things differently.”
Daniel shook his head. “Maybe. I don’t know. But what I do know is that you have kept me safe every day since I met you. Especially after you knew I wasn’t a traitor. You protect innocent people. You make hard decisions to keep people safe. That doesn’t make you a bad person. I wouldn’t feel how I do if I believed you to be a bad person.”
“Thank you,” Edward whispered. Leaning forward, he carefully brushed his lips across Daniel’s, loving the tingle of electricity that still coursed through him every time they touched. He would never tire of that feeling.
Smiling a little sadly, Daniel released him and backed up to the bed. “So, do we have a plan?”
“I think so. We call Marcus and tell him we wanna make a deal. We set up a meeting for tomorrow, trap him, and shoot him.”
Daniel frowned. “Lovely plan, but do you know his number?”
“No, but I know some people who can probably get it.”
Daniel groaned. “I don’t know why I ever thought I had any privacy. What do we do in the meantime? Do we need to work out a meeting location?”
“I’ve got one. Tonight, I say we order in some room service and you let me point out all the parts of you that are still private.”
Pushing off the bed, Daniel took a backward step toward the bathroom. “Well, then I’m going to take a shower and get the last of this morning’s meeting off me while you make your phone calls.”
Edward watched Daniel slip into the bathroom and then continued to stare at the door he’d only partially closed. He wasn’t sure if he’d done it to let the steam out of the room or if it was an invitation to join him. Probably a little bit of both. And Edward didn’t want to turn it down.
But he had to call James first. He had no doubt in his mind that someone at the CIA could get their hands on Dillinger’s cell number. He also needed to call Dillinger the second he got the number. He had a place in mind that was well outside of Paris that wasn’t too heavily visited by tourists. If they timed it just right, the place would be theirs, keeping the potential number of casualties down to a minimum.
The only part that Edward hadn’t yet had the heart to tell Daniel was how things would go down when they met with Dillinger. There were only two options for them. Edward would be the bait for the meeting and Daniel would have to be the trigger man, taking out a decorated war hero turned traitor. Or they’d both have to be bait, and Edward would have to find a way to take out Dillinger while trying like hell to keep Daniel alive.
Both options stank to high heaven.
But as he listened to the water for the shower kick off, a greater worry started to gnaw at Edward. If there came a moment where he had to choose between saving Daniel’s life and killing Dillinger, would he be able to make the right choice? Did he even know what the right choice was anymore?