“Royce, don’t…”
He shook his head, balling his hands into fists at his sides. His throat felt like it was being shredded as he swallowed back the tears. He had loved Michael, more than he’d ever thought possible. But the sharp pain of his death had dulled with help from Marc. The amazing man standing in the kitchen had taught him that he was worthy of love and friends.
“But he died before I could propose.” Royce sucked in a deep breath and forced himself to meet Marc’s gaze. He deserved to know the truth. “Before I was hired by Ward Security, I worked as a shylock. I was angry at my mother for taking me away from my family. I was angry at my father and brother for dying. I needed something that gave me an outlet for my anger. A loan shark and bookie heard about me and offered me a job. I would track down people who owed him money and beat them up. I broke bones. I put people in the hospital for money. The pay was good, but I hated myself. The whole thing was horrible. After we bought the townhouse, we agreed to save my money with the plan of getting out and taking my mom somewhere else. He was my everything.”
“Did he know what you did?”
“Yes. It almost destroyed us when I told him, but I had to be honest with him. He deserved to know the truth. I agreed to quit when we had money saved up. Enough for us to leave with my mom and start over.”
“But he died…”
Royce nodded. “I had to get rough with a gambler who owed my boss more than a hundred grand. I got a chunk of the cash and left the loser bleeding on his kitchen floor. What I didn’t know was that the loser had a powerful brother with the local mob. He sent men after me, but…but they found Michael instead.”
“They killed him?”
“No,” he croaked. Royce paused and cleared his throat. “They beat him badly. In the end, it was his heart that gave out. He had a previously undiagnosed heart condition. It was all too much.”
Marc stood silent for nearly a minute. Royce watched as his full lips pressed into a hard, thin line. The plastic bottle in his hands crackled loudly in the silent house. When Marc finally looked up at him, all he saw was rage.
“This is fucking bullshit!”
“I’m not lying!”
“No, you decided to leave me because of my heart!” Marc shouted back at him. “That’s it, isn’t it? The whole reason you finally told me about Michael and his weak heart. You’re terrified that something in your life is going to come for me and kill me because of my heart.”
“Yes,” Royce said on a soft sigh. “I don’t want you to die. Not because of me. I—”
“Fuck you, Royce Karras! Fuck you!” Marc slammed the water bottle on the counter and took two steps toward him. Anger brought a red flush to Marc’s pale cheeks and his eyes were bright with unshed tears. “You don’t get to decide who I get to be with in my life. You don’t get to decide the risks I can and can’t take. I might let you boss me around in the bedroom, but that’s fucking it. I’m sorry you lost Michael, but he knew his risks the moment you told him what your job was. And you know what? He chose to stay with you.”
“That choice got him killed.”
“Yeah, but at least he got to be happy with you during the time you had together. You wouldn’t even let me choose to be happy with you. I got dumped at the hospital and told I was just a job.”
“You were never just a job.” Royce took a step closer and Marc just glared at him. “I love you. I fell in love with you again and again every single day we were together. You bring beauty and warmth and compassion to this world. You make me feel worthwhile after I’ve spent years convinced that I am worthless. I’m sorry I hurt you. I have never wanted to hurt you. Only keep you safe. Make you happy.”
“And now it’s my chance to make a choice?”
“Yes.”
Marc stared at him for several seconds before he took a sharp breath and nodded. “Leave.”
Royce staggered backward, stunned. He pressed his hand against his chest, half expecting to find an open wound where Marc had stabbed him through the heart. The pain was excruciating, he could barely draw a breath.
“Marc, please.”
“You need to leave. You don’t respect me. You don’t respect my feelings or my ability to make choices for my life. Leave now.”
“I do. I made a mistake. I was terrified of losing you. Terrified of being the reason you’re not alive. Terrified of bringing all the darkness and evil that follows me around into your life. I’m sorry. I love you.”