Even in all those letters though, not once did she let on that she owned a sex store.
Thank fuck.
Honestly, I wasn't sure I would have been able to handle five years of that torture.
It wasn't what you would think when you thought 'sex store' either.
Was there such a thing as an upscale sex toy store?
If there was, this was that.
She had pristine, gleaming hardwood floors, off-white walls with glass shelving units. There wasn't a wire rack in sight. There were black display tables with chandeliers over them, giving the whole space a warm, welcoming, open vibe instead of the dark, seedy, and taboo feeling most sex stores had.
There were two doors leading to the back. One was behind the counter, saying 'employees only' which I figured for a stock room, bathroom, and maybe the break space for her. The other door was left slightly open, displaying several tables and chairs, likely the spot where she held her classes.
She had done something for herself, something she even believed in - educating the masses about enjoying sex without shame.
And she obviously had a very close relationship with her card of a sister. Cock God. What a trip.
She was everything I had made her up to be in my mind. And more. And then she fucking wanted me to boot?
Fuck.
I needed to walk away before I remembered that I was trying to be a good man about it. Because, the fact of the matter was, she deserved a man who didn't have to carve his heart out, who didn't need to become a hollow-chested monster so that he didn't have blackout rages anymore.
I wasn't going to let a good woman get involved in my mess.
"Yo!" Bobby yelled, followed by some banging on the floor below, making the dog next door start freaking out.
That was one thing too.
I hadn't expected Coop to remember me at all, let alone greet me like I had just left town for a week, not almost his whole life.
Dogs.
There was nothing in the world like them.
But he was her dog now. Her and her sister's.
They probably took better care of him than I ever did, and I took pretty good fucking care.
"Coming," I growled, scrubbing my hands down my face.
"What kinda lock is that?" Bobby asked as I pulled the door open, squinting a little at the harsh sun.
"Why? Did you try to pick it?"
"I was going to surprise you with breakfast," he said, holding up a bag and a tray of coffee. "That a crime?"
"If it involves picking my lock, yes," I said with a laugh. It had been a long year and a half on the inside without his ridiculous ass there to lighten shit up occasionally. "But thanks for breakfast," I added as he moved inside.
"Shit. You clean up house better than my woman."
"Pretty sure you're not supposed to say shit like that."
"Because it makes me, ah, how did she put it... oh, right. It makes me a misogynistic asshole. I heard that one when she came home from work and I asked what was for dinner."
"Yeah," I said with a chuckle. "Because she was at work while your lazy ass was lounging on the couch."
"Yeah, it didn't go over well. We eat out a lot," he agreed, smiling. "So, it looks like you've been busy. Nat said she saw you coming home from a walk when she was taking out the recycling. Do anything good?"
"Since I'm not supposed to be drinking, and the only place in town to drink is owned by the family I am not in touch with, not what you are thinking. I got coffee." I paused. Then, for some reason, it came out. "Then I went to see the woman who stole my dog."
"No shit! The chick who used to write you. Summer or some shit..."
"Autumn," I corrected, trying and failing to keep her face from popping up in my head.
"Yeah, Autumn. You get in?"
"Not your business, but she's not that kind of girl. And that wasn't why I went there."
"Haven't gotten your dick wet in six years, and that wasn't why you were there?" Bobby asked with an eye roll as he bit into his egg and cheese English muffin.
I decided not to get into details about how it almost went there. I knew Bobby; he would harp on it. Then I would never hear the end of it.
"It's not my main priority."
"Then your priorities are mixed up, man," he said, shaking his head as I reached for my coffee.
The raging hard-on I had been dealing with all night and part of the morning was definitely agreeing with him. But even if I did get to the point where I could consider having a woman in my life, was stable enough in my new career, could be sure that I could feel once more without it threatening to bring about my rage issues again, I knew that that woman couldn't be Autumn.