“Shane,” I tried, voice quiet, attempting to calm him down. I swear the air around him was charged, vibrating with anger.
“They don’t get to do that to you, Lea,” he said, eyes on me, intense, protective, angry for me.
“I know,” I agreed and, right then, I did. Because I saw what family was supposed to mean finally. I saw it because it was all around us. It was Charlie intervening, being the patriarch, being the voice of reason, trying to de-escalate a situation that might turn bad. It was in his brothers who had dropped everything to drive across the country to help him… and me. And if Charlie failed and the situation got ugly, they would have fought it out with us. That was family. Family did whatever was needed to take care of one another. They didn’t think selfishly. They thought and acted as a unit.
The only family I had ever known had made every single decision based on what was best for them, what kept them safe.
Shane was right; they didn’t deserve my loyalty. They made the choice, day after day, week after week, year after fucking year, to not step in, to not help me, to let me suffer.
He was right. Love wasn’t unconditional. It had to be earned.
They had done nothing to earn mine.
“So they don’t get to gloss over this,” Shane added.
“I know,” I said, smiling a little. “But I get to be the one to tell them off, you ass,” I told him, rolling my eyes.
To that, his lips tipped up, his eyes losing some of their horror. “Guess you earned that. Give em’ hell, baby.”
I turned back to my father and brother, both having the good sense to look a bit sheepish, the cowards they were. “This is it for us,” I told them. “You’re not going to be calling me and I won’t be sending Christmas cards. When I make an entire litter of black-haired, blue-eyed boys,” I said, feeling Shane stiffen beside me, knowing how big that was for me, “they are going to know the grandfather they deserve, the one who drove across country and stood with me against my enemies… not stood with them.”
“Lea, honey…”
“And when they know their uncles,” I said, looking at my brother, “they will know that they will always be there to protect them. And they will show them how brothers are supposed to act. They won’t even understand the concept of selfishness, of standing by while wrong is being done and not stepping in. We’re done,” I said, looking at them both hard, feeling that sensation down to my bones: done.
“Lea,” Shep’s voice broke in, drawing my attention. When I looked at him, his eyes were kind, kinder than I remember seeing them. But, then again, I was always looking for the ugly in all the men. “I don’t expect to be seeing you again, but you don’t have any enemies here. Not anymore,” he said, his tone firm, giving me closure.
I was free.
Fuck.
Finally, finally free.
“Breathe,” Shane demanded and I realized he was right, I was holding my breath. I had been holding it for years.
I sucked in air, nodding.
“Lea,” Ryan said behind me, touching my elbow. “Come on. Let’s get back to the car.”
“No. I’m not leavin…”
“We’re right behind you,” Shane promised, but I planted my feet.
“What would your mother think if she knew you were trying to shoo me away so you can handle ‘man business’?” I asked with a brow raise that managed to make the whole lot of them smile.
“We need to talk about the body,” Shane said, making me stiffen a bit, only because I didn’t like the idea that he had needed to do that, that he needed to kill for me.
Shep raised a hand. “Let me handle it. I know where the bodies are, ah, buried,” he said, with an eye roll at his own comment. “You guys don’t know your way around here. You’re more likely to get caught. And, trust me, if anyone finds Ross’ body, the DEA will be all over our shit. They’ve wanted to take us down for years. Finding him dead will bring them here to investigate. They’ll find shit. We don’t need the heat. I will handle it.”
“If you don’t mind,” Charlie said, voice firm, the kind of firm that I imagined had made lesser men cower away, “I’d rather Shane were in on the clean up. Just to make sure things go right. Me as well,” he added, a certain edge to his voice that drew my full attention.
It was right then that I realized something. Shane wasn’t the only Mallick man to have taken a life before; Charlie had too.
Shep looked at them and nodded. “Alright. But we need to handle it now.”
“Agreed,” Charlie said with a nod.