And now, it was just one bad month away from needing to shutter after all these years.
"I think he would have. If he had been thinking of things like that. Do you think he's gone for good?" I asked, thinking of the store. I could keep things going status quo for a while, but, eventually, I was sure someone would want to have contact with the actual owner. And then everything would fall apart. I had a small savings, but nowhere near what I might need to try to buy the store. And then what? Everything would be liquidated. I would have to go and work for a chain pet store where no one even knew what the breeds of guinea pigs were or had the heart to adamantly refuse to sell goldfish bowls for moral reasons.
I could see visions of my dream to fix up my family farm crumbling before my eyes, dust all around.
"Hey," Kingston said, hand squeezing my thigh again, making me suddenly acutely aware of the weight of it, the placement of it, the borderline intimacy of it. "This isn't the end of the world. Don't start picturing everything going down the drain just yet. I haven't had much time to even try to track him down. I had an emergency call right after I left his place," he explained.
"Oh. Is everything alright?"
"No," he said, gaze slanting away, darkness taking over eyes whose light I had always been so drawn to. "But they will be now that I am back on the case."
"If you need to put my case on pause for a while, I totally understand."
"I'm not putting your case on the back burner, Savvs. I'm just calling in Atlas to help out. He'll have to take a break from skirt-chasing for a couple days, but will survive."
"He'll never forgive me for taking him away from a woman," I mused, finally spearing some carrots and rice, realizing how hungry I suddenly was.
"I'm putting him on the other case. I'm staying on yours."
"Shouldn't you be on the more important, paying case."
"You have that mixed up. The important case is you. The paying case is in second place. This is fucking amazing," he added, pointing his fork toward his plate before getting another big scoop.
"I'm lucky you're you and not Rush," I told him with a smile.
"He'd be hiding the peas under his napkin, handing off the carrots to the dogs."
"I don't know how he's not three-hundred pounds when all he eats is junk food and sandwiches."
"Shane," Kingston told me, meaning Shane Mallick who was his sister's brother-in-law, a loanshark enforcer and the owner of the local gym. "Gets on his ass anytime they see each other about how between his sweet tooth and his new desk job, he was going to get bloated and soft and that no one would want to fuck him."
"Well, that is one way to find the motivation to hit the treadmill. I should get a membership."
"Like Shane would let you pay. And you don't need it," he added.
It was a compliment, in an offhand, matter-of-fact way, but it still sent a shiver through my very needy insides. "I could barely outrun those guys," I told my plate, pushing the food around.
"Your legs are shorter," he offered, being kind. As King almost always was. It was one of the most charming things about him. I couldn't even imagine him slinging a harsh word, let alone losing his temper. "And I don't plan to allow you to get into that kind of situation again. But if you want to stretch your legs more, when all this is over, you can pop over anytime and steal Padfoot for a walk or run. He would love that. You have the code," he added, an open invitation to be a bigger part of his life.
It was more than I had, but if I was going to be completely honest, it wasn't nearly everything I wanted.
As much as I tried to play it down with Peyton and Jamie and the entire Mallick clan - or, at least, the women - who seemed like they were on a mission to make me a part of the family in a more official way, there was no denying it.
I wanted Kingston.
Sure, there was a time when I had wanted all of the Rivers brothers. Back when they were just a group of unfairly good-looking guys I got to be around once in a while.
But the longer I was around them, the more that I knew them, the more attached I got to Kingston, to the idea of Kingston and me.
He was the oldest, strapped with the task of being a parental figure when his mother died, shouldering the burden of being an adult before he was truly old enough to be one himself. It made him wiser, more patient, kinder, more grounded than the rest of his siblings.