"Here," he said, walking over toward my fridge, grabbing the grocery list pad stuck there, flipping to a clean page that did not have a shopping list that included 'max flow tamp,' and I prayed to God he didn't see that before he flipped the page, and jotted down his number. "That's my number. If you need anything, let me know. I'm usually around. And even if I'm not, I can almost always get away if there is something going on. Don't hesitate, okay?" he asked, giving me a hard look. "I mean it, Eva. Don't be proud. We parents are in this shit together. Call if you need me."
"I will. I really appreciate it."
"Text me so I can have your number," he demanded, giving me a chin jerk as he made his way out of the kitchen.I moved into the doorway, watching him as he made his way out of my home, then turned to watch him walk past the kitchen window on his way to his home.
Sighing, I moved back into the kitchen, filling a pot with water, and putting it on the stove for pasta. Gourmet, it was not, but it was fast and easy and would keep us all going. Somedays, that was the best you could do. Maybe I had some frozen veggies I could toss in the microwave to assuage my mom-guilt.
"Harriet's man is handsome," my mother told me, walking into the kitchen.
I never corrected my mom when she got confused on little things like names. It only confused and stressed her more, which made everything worse.
"He really is, isn't he?" I asked instead, smiling a little.
"Tall."
"Very tall," I agreed.
"Nice voice."
"He smells divine too," I added, wishing I knew what cologne that was so I could spritz my pillowcases with it. It didn't look like I was going to find any time with a man in my near future, I figured smelling one could ease the disappointment of that.
"You keep your hands to yourself," she snapped, suddenly angry. "You always were a little whore."
"Mom!" I said, half laughing at the absurdity of that comment.
"I wouldn't want to be your momma, Diane."
Oh, yeah.
That made more sense.
My mother's half-sister Diane had been a black sheep of the family ever since she stole the husband of one of her cousins right from under her.
"Don't worry. I have no time for a man right now. I have an ungrateful son to deal with."
To that, she had nothing to say as she took a chocolate pudding out of the fridge, then brought it back out to the living room.
"Mom," Jacob's voice called a couple moments later, making me jolt, realizing I had drifted to sleep. "The water is boiling," he told me, sounding apologetic for waking me.
"Shit," I said, popping out of my chair, going to turn the heat down as I dug around for whatever pasta we had on hand.
"I finished my homework."
"Good. How is history going? I asked, knowing he struggled.
"It's fine. Mom, I'm sorry I didn't tell you where I was going."
"Not telling me wasn't really the point in this instance, Jacob," I told him, throwing some bow ties in the pot since that was all we had. "The point was that you know I didn't want you there, but you went there. And then you made me go there to bring you back. That was the point. And we haven't even talked about that bullshit stunt last night. You made the freaking neighbor sit up until I got home."
"He should have minded his own business," Jacob insisted, chest puffing up.
"Watch it," I told him, leaning against the counter, crossing my arms over my chest. "Listen to me. You are fourteen-years-old. You have four years until you are free to do shit like making stupid decisions and hanging out with dangerous people."
"He's your brother."
"Yeah, and he's an asshole, okay? Only an asshole tries to get his teenage nephew to hang out with a gang."
"So the gang is bad, but the arms-dealing bikers are cool? Hypocrite much?"
Oh, the little bastard.
"The difference is, our neighbor isn't trying to recruit either of us into his arms-dealing biker club. He's just being a halfway decent human being. I don't understand what I have to do to get this through to you—" I broke off on a choke. Angry tears strike again!
"Don't cry," Jacob said, looking stricken. "I won't go anywhere tonight. I promise."
Tonight wasn't the promise I wanted. But it was what I had at the moment. And that was better than nothing. At least I could get through my shift without worrying about him getting into who-knew-what kind of trouble on the streets.
"Thank you," I said, nodding, and reaching up to wipe the tears off my cheeks, deciding he didn't need to know they were angry, not sad, tears. Sometimes you just had to lie to your kids. That was life.