And whatever he demanded, I was ready to give.
Whatever at all.
His tongue traced the seam of my lips, seeking entrance. My lips fell open on a sigh as his tongue claimed mine, the sensation sending a shock to my core, making my hands grab his arms, fingers digging in.
Just as suddenly - unexpectedly - as it started, it was over.
His lips ripped from mine, his body turned, and he was walking away even before my eyes managed to flutter open again.
My back fell against the doorframe, giving me the support my legs were denying as I took several breaths so deep they made my lungs burn in response.
Even after that, after Cam was around the corner and gone, I couldn't seem to restore any kind of order to my overwrought system, simply inching my way back into my apartment, dropping down on the couch, and letting the whole of what just happened wash over me.
Cam had kissed me.
No, that wasn't the right emphasis.
Cam had kissed me.
Of all people.
Me.
He could literally get all the Top Model girls at once. And he kissed little ol' me.
Proximity, maybe?
That was the only logical explanation that came to me.
He wanted to kiss.
I was there.
There was no denying that I wanted it to be more, though. Of course I did.
I couldn't help it, really.
Getting attached to him.
We talked daily. We discussed all the little things that you usually learn about someone you are newly dating. We shared a meal, movies, closeness.
He was gorgeous, tall, strong, confident, attentive, giving.
There was no way I couldn't have caught feelings. He was the closest relationship I had in so long.
And my shy, blemished, chubby teenaged self was doing a happy jig at the idea that the hot guy would be even remotely interested in spending any time with me at all.
Let alone kissing me.
I wasn't sure how long I stayed there on the couch, but it seemed like ages before my body could get ahold of itself enough to move again.
Only then I realized he had left his laptop.
Which meant that, even if he regretted what had happened, he would be back. At least to retrieve it.
I cleaned up the dessert, put away the leftovers, got ready for bed.
All the while waiting for my phone to ding.
But there was nothing but quiet.
This time, not the good kind.FIVEAnnieIt was just another day.
One like many others.
One where I woke up waiting for Cam to contact me.
One where I obsessed when that text didn't come immediately. Despite knowing I was up earlier than usual. And that he was likely still sleeping after a long shift at the clubhouse.
He hadn't come home.
I'd stayed up listening until it got too late to keep my eyes open.
So it wasn't weird.
I would hear from him.
I had his laptop.
I was still smiling about how evil villain that thought was as I made my way around the corner to walk to She's Bean Around.
I had a potential new client.
While I gave my lessons at my actual apartment, I always made sure to have a public meeting first. I wanted to get a feel for people. After having met people who stiffed me, cornered me, and belittled me, I had gotten pretty good at knowing if a person would make a good client or not.
Hence the meeting.
I had to admit, I was excited for slightly overpriced, but amazing coffee. Maybe with a little pumpkin in it. It was a tad early, but I had been seeing the sign in the window when I walked the dogs for over a week. And I had to admit, I was a sucker for all things pumpkin.
It was a splurge, but I was feeling like it was worth it.
I was finally a step ahead.
If I could keep it up for a few more weeks, I would feel secure again, stable, not petrified about bills.
I could take a deep breath.
That, on top of maybe, possibly, hopefully starting something with Cam, yeah, things were good for a change.
"Medium pumpkin with two sugars and almond milk," a voice said at my side as I passed a small space between buildings.
My heart always sank.
When I heard that voice.
When I knew he had tracked me down.
But this was an entirely new sensation.
Almost a bit like my heart getting ripped out of my body, to be honest.
Which made no logical sense, but it was how it felt nonetheless.
Nerve endings misfired. Goosebumps rose up even as the sweat started forming. My breathing shallowed out as my heart seemed to thud unnaturally slow - a war drum against my ribcage.
It didn't matter how many times I had been here, how many times I had dealt with this exact same situation.
How many times he found me.
It never lost its impact. It never failed to leave me clammy and disoriented, feeling like the ground was suddenly un-level and spinning, like it was taking everything in me just to keep from pitching forward, falling flat on my face.