A long shower washed the cooking off of me, but did nothing to ease the aching inside.
As I fell asleep, I wondered if Thad was right.
If I could jump into bed with Virgin, a man whose real name I didn't even know.
But maybe if I asked him his real name at dinner...--"Girl, go," Abby demanded, slapping my ass with a wooden spoon hard enough for me to wonder if she was going to leave a bruise. That Virgin might be seeing later.
"It's early," I objected, looking up at the monitor above our heads where the orders scrolled as they came in.
"Yeah, but, Fred, doll, you just put sugar in the macaroni and cheese," she told me, making my eyes shoot down to what I had been doing. And, sure enough, the gooey golden cheese was speckled with granulated brown sugar I had meant to throw in the bacon brown sugar chicken pan. "You are clearly already in date-mode. And, judging by your stint at a woman's facility for the past decade, I figure this will be your first male-female rendezvous in ten years."
"It will be my first rendezvous at all in ten years."
"Really? I mean, I'm not into the lady cave that much either, but in a pinch..."
"I haven't been in that tight of a pinch," I said with a smile.
"Christ. You must be wound like a clock, huh?" she asked, dumping the macaroni and cheese in the trash, then filling up a new pot with water to start over.
"I guess."
"Well, go. Get yourself all cleaned up, dolled up, the usual. Do you need condoms?"
"My brother already threw a box at me this morning."
At my face, in particular.
From what I saw last night, he's a Magnum man, he had told me with a finger wave before heading off to work.
As I went home and showered, shaved, did the hair process again since I had just wrapped one of Thad's colorful scarves over my hair to go to work, then worked on my makeup, picked out my clothes, his words came back to me again.
From what I saw last night, he's a Magnum man.
And this time, they sank in. Magnum. I had been so wrapped up in the sensations the night before that I hadn't given size much thought. But now, alone in the apartment, I was unnervingly aware of the fact that I hadn't had sex in ten years, that I barely even had a chance to engage in it before I went away.
The women at prison used to joke about being re-virginized.
They used to claim that after a spell, it was nearly like the first time all over again when they went home. Or, at least, the child-free ones said that. The ones with kids made crude jokes about how with the way their babies battered their way out of their bodies that nothing would ever pinch let alone hurt like the first time again.
My butt sank down on my bed, still only clad in black lacy panties and a matching bra.
And that was exactly where Thaddeus found me about an hour later.
"Alright, what is it?" he asked from my doorway. "And don't be trying to tell me it is nothing because no one pulls a The Thinker pose in their panties over nothing."
"Do you think it's going to hurt when we have sex?"
"Aw damn," Thad said, pushing off the doorway to drop down on the bed beside me, nudging his shoulder into mine. "Look, I can't claim to know all about what you have going on down there," he told me, waving a hand to my crotch. "But the way I see it, if you want it enough, and you're primed enough, your body will do what it is meant to do even if it maybe pinches a bit at first. What I do know is that if you get all up in your head about it, you'll psych yourself out of it for no good reason. Now, let's get some clothes on you for that handsome man to peel off later."
With that, Thad got me into a white sundress with red flowers I never would have picked for myself even if I had to admit it was flattering.
"Flats," I told him when he held out a pair of wedge sandals.
"It's a date. You don't wear flats on a date."
"You are not the one who will get blisters," I shot back. "Go let him in," I told him as the buzzer went off, shoving him toward the door before going into my closet myself, finding a pair of sandals similar to the wedge ones, slipping my feet into them, then spritzing on some perfume.
"Look at you," Thad said in his flirtatious voice as the door closed. "Freddie, your gentleman caller is here!" Taking a deep breath, I checked my reflection one last time before moving out into the central area of the house.