"Are you okay?" I asked, seeing something almost like desperation on his face, a look that did not belong on him.
"The prez's daughter was just kidnapped," he ground out, frozen in place.
"Oh, God." Kidnapping. Girls. This day and age. I knew enough about the ugly in the world to feel sick at the idea of a girl away from the protection of her family. "Adler, go," I demanded, nudging him with my foot. "You need to go."
His eyes closed, sucking in a deep breath. "I know," he agreed. "I'm sorry, duchess. I wanted this to be different. It's yer bith..."
"Fuck my birthday. Go. Help your brothers. Find the girl."
I hopped up, moving with him as he made his way to the door in an odd sort of trance. "Are you okay?" I asked as we hit the door, something about his reaction, about the rawness in his face, making my pulse skitter. My hand moved out without even thinking, closing around his arm, a show of affection I could never be called known for.
Seeming to sense it, his head turned, eyes landing on my hand for a long moment before rising to my face.
"No," he admitted, then opened the door, and disappeared.
I stood there for a long time watching the wood like it might burst open again until Linny moved with me, raising a paw to scratch at it, letting out a low whine.
"I know the feeling, girl," I told her, reaching down to rub her wide head. "You wanna go for a walk?" I asked, taking a deep breath, hoping that maybe some exercise would ease the ache of unfulfilled desire. "Let me go get some pants on," I grumbled, moving off to do just that.
Adler didn't return.
Not that night.
Or the next.
Or the next.
And as I lay in bed, re-watching his damn movie which was every bit as good as he claimed, I thought selfish things, things I had no business thinking.
Like how long he would be gone.
If he was thinking of me like I was thinking of him.
If he was going to forget all about me.
I sighed as Linny threw her body on top of mine.
"Well, girl, I guess we have to go back to option A, huh?" I asked, rubbing her cheek. "You need to turn into a badass skip chasing dog. I don't think he is going to be around to make good on his couch potato promise to you."
And so he didn't.--"How many fuckin' times I got to tell you not to bring that fuckin' mutt in here?"
"The only fucking mutt in here is you, Geoff," I shot back, reaching across his desk to snag a nugget from his fast food meal, tossing it at Linny who snatched it out of the air, seeming to make a show of chewing it slowly, her focus on the man behind the desk. Like she knew what was going on. Like she understood her defiance.
It had been a nice couple weeks with her.
I had a buddy to go on my runs in the morning, to sit beside me in the car on the rides to other towns when I had jobs. So far, she'd been smart and loyal and adaptable, settling into our unusual version of life. She had no issues with hotel rooms. Or being on the road. Or being at home. Where we would sit on the couch, and I would pretend I wasn't listening for activity in the hall, across in his apartment.
But there had been nothing.
Judging by the way his mail piled up on the table up front, he hadn't been by at all.
Which didn't bode well for Reign's daughter, a fact that made me feel guilty for wanting Adler to come back when I knew he was needed there more.
"It's ridiculous, y'know?" I said to Linny as I tossed her a sweet & sour chicken out of the container. "I'm not that girl."
And, truly, I never had been.
The pining one.
The one waiting on the bell to ring.
The one who thought swirling, incessant, increasingly insecure thoughts as each day passed by.
That wasn't me.
I never gave men that much headspace.
For good reason.
For this reason.
I was disgusted with myself.
"I should just hit a bar, find a guy, and get laid already," I told Linny. Maybe it should have been weird that I talked to her so much, but she was there, and I swear she listened. Sometimes she even had input. A head tilt. Whine. Grumble. Even a snort or two on occasion.
It wasn't great conversation, but it would do.
It kept me from going crazy.
Even if her presence was an ever-constant reminder of him as well.
"You think you can hold down the fort?" I asked, glancing at the clock. It was late. Chaz's probably wouldn't even serve me. But if I hit up Meryl's, I could get a drink or two in me. In public. So I wasn't a lonely girl drinking in her apartment with her dog.