I had just pulled up in front of The Henchmen MC compound, eyeing up the small group of men out front who were watching my car with curiosity.
Adler said nothing, didn't reach to pull open his door, but I could feel his gaze on me, insistent, demanding. Wanting my attention.
When I gave it, I saw a mixture of curiosity, disappointment, and... challenge.
"Tired of my company already, duchess?" he asked, head ducking to the side.
"It's late. Your brothers probably miss you."
"Yeah, that explains it," he said, voice dry. "I'll see ya around, Lou," he added, the words like a promise, like a vow.
I had no doubts that he would make sure of it.
"Thanks for the help," I remembered to add as he opened the door to climb out.
"Even though ya didn't need it," he said, giving me a nod as his brothers whistled and called out to him, prodding at him about his outfit.
"Bye," I called. To my damn self since he was slamming the door.
Feeling oddly dismissed, I peeled off, handing off Thomas to Geoff, then waiting for him to get me the cash out of his safe.
I didn't go home.
To pack another bag.
To get some sleep.
To change out of the blasted dress.
All the while trying to tell myself it was because I had time to make up for, that I had been slacking on my real mission in order to put food in my belly.
Instead of what it really was.
Me avoiding running into Adler again.
Me being a fucking coward.FIVEAdler"I think I like her even more now," Lenny declared from her position perched on the couch, her head in Edison's lap, his fingers absentmindedly running through the soft-looking strands. Her long leg kicked out, tapping me in the rib with the tips of her combat boots as I teetered on the arm of the couch in a compound that was making me more and more claustrophobic each passing day.
Because we were trapped in it, under orders not to leave unless we had permission.
It wasn't doing great things for me.
And my memories.
That made me have a strong aversion to being held anywhere against my will.
Even if I understood the reason.
Even if one of my brothers was still on the mend from an unexpected attack, a new old threat putting everyone on edge. All of us - and our women and children - possible targets.
I got it.
That didn't mean I liked it.
That didn't mean it wasn't fucking with my head.
I got out sometimes.
When I had guard duty for one of the women who had a job they couldn't - or didn't want to - walk away from.
I volunteered as much as possible for Meryl's, keeping an eye on Lenny who was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. But, hey, it gave me a chance to spend time with someone I could maybe - just maybe - consider a friend.
I wasn't good at that.
Friendship.
Knowing that it came with expectations and conditions.
They'd want to know me.
And I wasn't keen on letting people do that.
Seeing things like pity and disgust in their eyes.
The disgust I could handle, knew I deserved. I was comfortable with all the fucked up shite I had done in my life.
It was the pity I couldn't abide, didn't want to be confronted with.
For a boy I had been.
Knowing they would see it through a different lens than I did.
If you thought of my situation, you'd think words. Trapped. Young. Helpless.
And while I had been trapped, I had never been young, had life age me twice the normal speed from the time I was five years old. And helpless, ha, no one would think that if they knew who I had been, what I had needed to do, what I had done in the end.
It was easier to keep people at a distance.
Because if I gave them the bit about the basement, they'd want to understand why I was the kid I had been already when I'd been hauled in there.
And those older wounds, yeah, those were ones that no one got to know.
Not even Ward who had been in that basement with me.
So I didn't try too hard. With my brothers. With their women. To make close bonds.
But then there was Lenny.
And Lenny was different.
Colder.
Life-hardened.
Chill.
Sarcastic as fuck.
And she didn't show me sympathy when things occasionally came up, when there were peeks at my past.
She just let me be.
If I was going to be on guard duty, in general, I preferred it be with her.
Though I had done most of the jobs over the end of winter, the middle of spring, the hot as balls summer we were trapped in now.
The library with Reese and Peyton, making Reese beam when she found out that there weren't many classics she could recommend to me that I hadn't already read. And trading dirty jokes with Peyton.