I turned to watch him disappear for a long minute before Repo interrupted the silence. "Is it what?" he prompted.
I turned back, brows drawn together. "What? Oh, um... are the nightmares based on... real things?" I asked, never being the type to suffer from chronic nightmares. Since running from the Kozlovs, I had the occasional one that would wake me up freaked out, but I usually forgot all the details of the dream within minutes of waking.
"Yeah, real things," he told me, watching my face closely. "I haven't always been a good man, Maze."
"I find that hard to believe," I said because it was true. "Besides, everyone has done some shit in their lives that could keep us up at night if we harp on it."
"What have you done?" he asked. The question would have seemed invasive if he hadn't asked in a quiet, smooth voice.
I looked at my feet and let out a breath. "I've been really naive and gullible," I admitted.
"Come here," he said, leaning forward and snagging me at my hips, pulling me closer to the table and between his legs. He waited a minute for my gaze to rise to his. "Maybe you were those things once, but that isn't who you are."
The certainty in his tone made a bit of a weight lift from my shoulders. It hadn't occurred to me that I had been harboring a worry that it was something that was written all over me, like I wore my flaws as a badge for all to see despite how hard I had tried to make sure no one could ever call me those things again.
"Same goes for you, Repo," I said, my hands landing on his thighs.
"I've killed people, Maze."
"Was that supposed to shock me?" I asked, shrugging a shoulder. Quite frankly, I had walked into the compound expecting to find that every member of the gang was, at some time or another, a cold-blooded killer. K had sort-of told me as much. He said he wasn't sure about some of the small-time guys, but he knew for a fact that Reign, Cash, and Wolf had left piles of bodies in their wakes. Reign, mostly as preventative measures, eliminating snitches, taking down rival organizations. Cash, when ordered to in extreme situations. And Wolf, well, Wolf kind-of went bonkers every once in a while and committed some ridiculously violent murders. But he mostly seemed to kill assholes who deserved it.
So Repo admitting he'd killed people? It wasn't a surprise.
"It would shock normal people," he said, his fingers sinking into my hips in an almost possessive way that made my sex clench.
"Who ever claimed I was normal?"
"They killed my uncle," he admitted, still watching for my reaction.
"The people you killed?"
"Yeah. They wanted to overthrow my uncle's business so they killed him and whooped my ass."
"That's how you got this," I concluded, hand moving from his thigh, my fingertips tracing down the scar on his cheek.
"Yeah."
"Snakes and snitches," I guessed.
"Yeah, honey," he said, hands closing the rest of the distance between us, making my pelvis push against his.
"If they deserved it, I don't see why you have nightmares."
"Because they didn't deserve the way they died."
"Maybe, maybe not."
"Maze... not."
My head tilted at the firmness of his tone. "I never had you pegged for the self-condemnation type."
"Don't usually do things I regret," he said, his hand moving up to stroke over my cheek.
I swallowed hard, trying to talk myself into stepping away from him. We were right in the middle of the yard. Anyone could see us if they happened outside for a smoke or some fresh air.
"I need to do my rounds." To that, Repo smirked a little evilly. "What?" I asked, brows drawing together.
"Yeah, when one of us takes the guard shift, we just plant our asses on the roof with a gun. You can see every inch of the fence from up there."
My mouth fell open in mock shock. "You bastards," I laughed, shaking my head.
"We gotta get our kicks somehow," he chuckled. "But you're right. Rounds need to be done," he said, but I didn't trust the look in his eye as he pushed me back a few steps and hopped off the table, taking the Maglite out of my hand and flicking it on before taking off toward the fence.
I paused for a moment before rushing to fall into step beside him, watching his profile as we walked. "Are you... doing the rounds with me?"
"Yeah," he said, nodding slightly.
"Um. Okay. But... why?"
"We need to talk."
Shit.
Shitshitshit.
We most definitely did not need to talk. What we needed was to move on and pretend that what happened never happened. It was better for both of us that way.
"I think we're all good on that front," I said, pointedly keeping my gaze ahead of us.
We walked that way for a long couple of minutes, each second that passed making me feel more and more like I was going to crawl out of my own skin. But then, nestled far from the compound in the back corner of the yard, Repo's hand closed around my bicep and turned me, pushing me up against the fence.