“Lo...” Janie broke in, her tone clear: I didn't need to talk about it if I didn't want to.
But I wanted to. I was done hiding. Maybe if I stopped hiding, she could too. “I was wrong to hide it. I was wrong to think that what happened to me would define the way others would see me. It wasn't my fault that I married someone who wasn't who I thought he was. It wasn't my fault he beat me, that he pushed himself on me. It wasn't even my fault that I stayed. I was young. Older than you were, babe, but way too young to deal with that. I didn't see a way out. But when I finally did, I took it.”
Her hand squeezed mine. “Lo, I know about Damian...”
My body jolted before I forced it to relax. “Cash told...”
Her head shook immediately. “I snooped, Lo. I know I shouldn't have, but I could never sleep. There were only so many books I could read, so many articles I could browse. I looked into all of you at the beginning. I knew you were married. I knew you left him. I didn't know he beat you.” Her lip trembled slightly before she forced it to relax. “But you're right- it didn't change the way I thought about you. It doesn't define you. You're you. You're the baddest bitch I've ever met and you taught me so much about how to be strong, how to overcome, even though I didn't know there was something like that for you to overcome, I think I felt it. I felt it in my gut.”
“Wolf is hunting Lex, isn't he?” I asked, knowing my answer, but wanting the confirmation.
“Yes,” she said, nodding the slightest bit.
I paused for a second, taking a breath. “I know it's not right of me, but I really hope he finds him before Reign, Cash, and Repo catch up.”
Janie exhaled a sharp breath. “Me too.”
I nodded, moving to lie down next to her, on my stomach but propped up on my arms. “Then let's just sit here and be not-right together, yeah?”
“Yeah,” she agreed, snuggling back down on the bed.
A while later, listening to nothing but each other's breathing and the wind outside, I turned my face to watch her profile. “One night,” I started and her head cocked slightly to look at me, “Cash came in while I was sleeping and picked up one of my books...”
“Oh, no...” Janie groaned, knowing of my penchant for romance novels, something she teased me mercilessly about because she buried her nose in classics.
“Then he started reading one of the sex scenes. Out loud.”
Then Janie did something I hadn't seen her do in way too long, she threw her head back and laughed. “Were you mortified?”
“Words can't even describe.”
“Did he tease you about it?”
I felt my smile grow soft and, judging by the way her eyes did the same thing, she noticed. “No. He tried to force me to relax, not be embarrassed. Then, well, stuff happened.”
Her smile turned a little devilish, “Stuff, huh?” she asked with an eyebrow wiggle. “Is he as good as the word on the street?”
“God, babe... so much better.”
She laughed a little, trying to sober her face and failing. “It's good his STD check came back clean last month then.”
It was my turn to burst out laughing and it felt good. It felt especially good to be sharing it with her. “We should probably stop monitoring him so closely from now on.”
“Hey, if he's got nothing to hide then he shouldn't...”
“I think I love him, Janie,” I broke in, letting the words trip out before I could force them back. When she didn't immediately respond, I gushed on, “I know it's fast. It's... too fast. It doesn't make sense and...”
That was when Janie's head shook and her eyes went as wise as her words. “Lo, when has love ever made any kind of sense?”
I felt my head nod and the silence lapsed again. “I think he loves me too,” I admitted, my voice a little hopeful.
“He fucking better,” was her immediate response, making me smile. “He doesn't see what a prize he's got with you, he's an idiot. I mean... he is and idiot...”
“Hey,” I broke in, trying for offended, but I was smiling too much.
“I'm kidding. He's good people, Lo. You know I'd tell you otherwise if I didn't think he was.”
And, boy would she ever. Keeping her opinions to herself was never a problem she suffered from.
“Janie... I know he's got a wicked reputation of being a vicious son of a bitch,” I started, keeping my eyes on her, looking for a reaction, “but I think Wolf is a good man too.”
I wasn't imagining it when her face went a little soft again.
And I felt myself hoping that, one day, she would tell me their story. Because I was sure it was a doozy.
Eventually, me tired from pain, her tired from whatever battle she was struggling with inside, we both slept.
I woke up to no call from Cash.
We had a whole day.
I went to sleep with no call from Cash.
I woke up again and my phone was ringing. I flew upward, ass to heels, and dug it out of my back pocket. “Cash?” I called desperately into the receiver.
“Ouch,” was the response and it wasn't Cash. “Sugar, honey, darlin',” he drawled and despite being worried as shit about Cash, I felt my lips curving up. “You forgot about me already?”
“As if that is possible,” I answered truthfully.
“Are you flirting with me, pumpkin?” he asked and I laughed. Then he did too.
“What's up, Shooter?” I asked and Janie's head snapped up, watching me with really intent eyes.
“News. Channel five. Right now.”
“Janie, news, channel five,” I relayed and she reached for a remote and brought it up.
“... Damian Crane, a decorated war hero, was shot dead in the doorway of his car early this morning...”
I didn't hear the rest. I didn't need to. It was done. It was over. I was finally, finally free.