“They pushed me down before I could run, before I could think of how to defend myself. They laughed, they slapped me around, ripped my clothes. The harder I fought, the harder they laughed. They touched me and when I thought…when I thought that was it, Jen came up from behind and whacked the guy that was on top of me with a frying pan. We managed to knock the other one unconscious too. We ran out to my car and drove to the police station.” Jackson was torn between wanting to hold her and wanting to smash something. He knew, based on her stiff posture, the tilt of her chin and her cool tone that she didn’t want him to touch her. And he knew it was because she would lose it if he did. That stranglehold she had on her emotions would come undone.
But he couldn’t sit still anymore. He couldn’t get the image of Hannah being thrown on the ground and touched by those animals out of his mind. Jackson had lived through his own hell. He wasn’t a naive man. But hearing this, hearing someone try and hurt someone so good, someone he cared for, made him want to go out and inflict some serious bodily harm.
“They didn’t—uh—” How the hell could he finish that sentence? He gripped the side of the thick pine table as Hannah shook her head.
“No. And I have no regrets for going in there that night. If I hadn’t gone in, they would have raped her, Jackson,” she said, emotion returning to her eyes, softening her voice…and ultimately melting his heart. “I only regret not having a plan, walking in there by myself. The next morning I registered for self defense classes.” He knew they were both thinking about that night in his bed, when she’d told him she could have knocked him to the ground. He almost wanted to smile with pride for her, for her strength and determination, and that unwavering courage. Then he thought of the last night when she was in his arms and had stopped him from making love to her. She was still afraid.
“What happened to them?”
Hannah shrugged. “Serving a ten year sentence.”
“You know that wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for you.”
…
Hannah nodded absently. She felt warmed by the way he was looking at her, the admiration she heard in his voice. Hannah couldn’t believe she had revealed so much. She hadn’t spoken about that night in years. But somehow it felt right to tell him, to share that part of her. She had been acutely aware of his tension, had seen his knuckles turn white as she spoke. And try as she might to deny it, it felt so wonderful to have someone care for her. It was just like when he found her in the snow, when he spoke up to Jean for her.
“Hannah, about Emily.”
Hannah felt her stomach flip flop. “You can raise her, Jackson, I know you can do it.”
“But it would be better if I were married. I want every chance to win this. To get Emily forever.”
Of course a married couple would be better but that didn’t mean her. “While that is true, your case is solid—”
“Do you remember what you said to me this morning?”
Hannah shook her head slowly, even though what she had said was dawning on her.
He leaned forward so that there was barely any distance between them at the table. “You said you would do anything to help me.”
Hannah’s heart beat ferociously. “I think marrying you is a little beyond help.”
“Look at it like a business arrangement.”
He was nuts. He actually thought they should get married. He had gotten it into his undeniably handsome head that he was going to rescue his niece. Now he needed to figure out the logistics and she was the easiest solution.
“Business arrangement?”
“You and I get married. You move into my place, help me raise her. I’ll pay you for your help.”
“I can’t let you pay me.” Hannah crossing her arms across her chest.
“Why not? You’re providing me with a service.”
“So am I the nanny slash housekeeper?”
“No, I want you to help me care for her. I have a housekeeper and cook already. I need you to guide me, and take care of the day to day stuff that a baby would need.”
“How long is this arrangement for? Am I going to drop my life, sell my house, and move in indefinitely?”
“That’s the gist of it. And you’ll have enough time to continue school. I’ll pay your tuition. I don’t want you to give that up.”
This was ridiculous. Hannah felt a nervous shiver creep up her spine as he stared determinedly at her. It was easy for him to say drop everything and leave. Her house, her home was everything to her. It was the first place that no one could take away from her and now…
“Hannah, I need you, Emily needs you.” He needed her? It was wonderful to think that he meant her, but she knew of course he meant that he needed her for Emily. And Emily, how could she let go of the little baby that she already desperately loved?
“I couldn’t possibly live with you though, you, you’re…you’re…”
“Handsome, rich, and irresistible?”
“Obstinate, arrogant, and domineering.”
“Ah, but that’s all a front.”
“There’s really a guy with a heart of gold under there?”
“Exactly.”
“So, if I agree to this…”
“We go to city hall the day after tomorrow. I’ll have my lawyers take over the adoption process. I’m not going to lose Emily. We’re not going to lose her.” Hannah believed him, but marriage? Living together? She had to think of it as a business arrangement. Emily would have a great home with her uncle. Hannah would be able to sleep at night knowing she’d fulfilled Louise’s last wish, and she would get to be in Emily’s life. What more could she want?
“In the meantime, if you want to get your things from your house, we’ll lock it up, and get you settled into my place in the city,” Jackson said, as casually as if he’d mentioned grabbing a sandwich for lunch.
Hannah stared blankly at him. “Now?”
He nodded. “I thought we had gone over this?”
“Settling into your place, like right away?”
“We’re obviously going to have to live together in order to be the family we say we are to adopt Emily. This is your area of expertise, Hannah. I shouldn’t be the one telling you how this works. We can come back here on the weekends or something.”
Hannah felt her heart beat painfully. “Jackson. This is a pretend marriage. Once you get Emily, I’m out of the picture.” She didn’t realize those words would or could actually cause her pain. For a second she could see herself with Jackson and Emily, as a real family. But she’d never be the right woman for Jackson. What if one day, when his attraction to her wore off, he’d decide he didn’t need her around? She couldn’t let herself get attached to him, or the idea of being a real family.
“Hannah, what are you worrying about now?”
“In the span of two hours I lost my job, am getting married, adopting a baby, moving out of my house to God knows where—”
“My penthouse,” he said with a laugh, “is not God-knows where. It’s like an hour from here.”
“Fine, so I’m leaving my little town for some playboy penthouse.” She drummed her fingers against the table while he laughed.
“You really have got me all wrong don’t you,” he said, smiling.
“You did have that basket of female toiletries at the cabin.”
His loud laugh interrupted her again. She glared at him.
“So you assumed that I bring hoards of women up to my cabin, seduce them, and then give them gift baskets?” His grin was starting to bother her, and so were his logical explanations. “You’re the only woman who’s been up to my cabin, Hannah,” he said, his voice low and throaty. “That basket was left by the designer.”
Her hands settled around her mug of cold coffee. “This is not easy. I haven’t had time to process anything.”
“Hey, who found who, remember?” he said gently. She stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. She had found him, and he was doing exactly what she’d wanted. Could she fault him for trying to make this all work? So what was the big deal to marry Jackson temporarily? Her stomach flopped over. Marry him. Sham or not, it was a huge deal.
“Why don’t we take this one day at a time. Get your stuff, settle into my place, we get married. Help me set up for Emily’s arrival, and then we’ll see what happens.”
“You know, I remembered that I really need to, um, do something. I’ll be right back,” Hannah said and bolted out of the room. She ran into her bedroom, feeling like a complete moron. She didn’t hear him walk in and jumped at the sound of his voice. Jackson filled up her tiny bedroom like a lion in a dollhouse.
“Why are you running away from me?”
Her eyes went to the pile of Christmas presents she’d purchased for Emily. Perfect. She could get them ready. But when she started to turn, Jackson gently reached out to grab her wrist. She didn’t try to pull away. His touch felt decadent, impossible to refuse.