Never did I want to see Seth feeling like he was “less than” because he hadn’t been given the chance to go to college.
“I’m learning a lot from Eli and Hudson,” he admitted.
“You soak information up like a sponge,” I told him. “It isn’t about the time you’ve spent in school. It’s drive and experience that are really important.”
“I get that,” he answered. “I wouldn’t trade the decisions I’ve had to make in my life. I might have a few regrets here and there, but I wouldn’t do things any differently.”
Of course he wouldn’t. Seth was a guy who would protect family at any cost.
I was just leaning in to kiss him when my phone rang.
I glanced at my cell on the coffee table. “My mother,” I said, my heart sinking.
“Answer it,” Seth said. “Don’t let her affect your life in any way, Riley. She’s sucked enough of your happiness. Don’t give her any more of it.”
His words hit me hard, but not in a bad way. I’d just never thought about my mother’s actions like that.
He was right.
I had a choice.
I didn’t need to be a frightened child anymore.
Maybe she’d taken my past away, but there was no way I was giving her my present or my future. Not now that I was happier than I’d ever been.
“Hello, Mother,” I said firmly as I answered her call.
“Margaret! Where have you been? I’ve been calling you for days.”
“Busy,” I replied.
“Too busy for your own mother?” she asked in a bitter tone. “I needed to talk to you about Nolan. I think he may be willing to take you back.”
I shuddered at the thought.
I took a deep breath. “Why would you think, even for one single moment, that I’d want to spend my life with a child molester, Mother? I would think you’d want me far away from all that. And him.”
We’d never really talked about what Nolan had done to Penny, but it was beyond time.
My mother made a tutting sound. “Penelope was a little young, but Nolan is still a good catch. He’s rich, and his family is extremely prominent. They have been for generations.”
I felt nausea rising in my throat. “Penny was fifteen. Not a little young. She was still a child.”
“Grow up, Margaret. Sometimes a woman needs to overlook these things to gain power. That’s the way it is in our world.”
I swallowed hard. Even though I didn’t want to face this particular fear, I knew I had to ask the question. “Like you had to overlook what Father was doing to me when I was a child?”
There was a long silence, and in that moment of complete quiet, I knew that she’d known. She’d always known. She just hadn’t stopped it, because she loved her reputation and money more than she’d ever loved me.
Seth squeezed my hand, and I appreciated the support, but this was something I had to do myself.
She finally sniffed. “It wasn’t for very long. And there was no way I could control anything your father did. More than likely, he would have just cast both of us aside if I’d said anything. You survived, Margaret. He didn’t beat you. There was no lasting damage.”
He didn’t beat me? Did she really think being molested was so much better than being hit? I would have much preferred that he had beaten me up. Instead, my father had left invisible open wounds that had never healed.
Fury built inside me. “It wasn’t for very long? It lasted FOR YEARS! And even after it was over, I had to live with the shame of what had happened.”
“You’re being dramatic, Margaret.”
I lost it. “You are not a mother. You’re a monster. All these years, I’ve given you the benefit of the doubt. I’d hoped you never knew the truth, but you did. How could you just let that happen?”
“That’s not important,” she answered in a brittle tone. “Nolan—”
“I don’t give a flying fuck about Nolan,” I told her angrily, my voice getting even louder. “He’s a sick, twisted individual who I can’t even be in the same city with, much less in the same room.”
I was seething with the most ferocious rage I’d ever experienced, and I couldn’t seem to put a lid on it. I wouldn’t. Not anymore.
“Margaret, it would make me happy if—”
“Nothing will ever make you happy. Ever. I twisted myself inside out for years to make you happy with me, even just a little bit. No child should ever have to do that. Love for a child should be unconditional.”
“Margaret,” she started in an admonishing tone.
I stopped her. “My name is Riley. Riley Montgomery. I have no desire to be Margaret. She was the child who was sexually assaulted by her father. She was the child who could never get her mother’s approval. She was the child who never fit into your world. There is no Margaret anymore. That child no longer exists.”
“You could fit in if you really wanted to—”
“I don’t want to fit in anymore. I know exactly where I belong. I also know exactly who I am, and I like that woman. I like her a lot. But I don’t like . . . you.”
For once, my mother didn’t say anything.
I continued, “Don’t call me again. Don’t even try to communicate. I’ll never be the daughter you want, and I don’t care. Why should I ever give a moment of thought to a mother who was never a parent? Who never protected me? This is the end of the road for us.”
Finally! I felt every word I’d just said. I meant them.
“Good-bye, Mother,” I said drily before I hung up.
Seth pulled me to him right after I dropped the phone on the coffee table. “Are you okay?” he asked, concerned.
“Actually, I think I’m better than just okay,” I told him. “She knew, Seth. She . . . knew. And never once did she try to stop it.”
“I’m so sorry, Riley,” he crooned as he pulled me into his lap. “I know that was a tough call.”
I put my arms around his neck. “It actually wasn’t. I feel . . . free.”
I wasn’t sad about saying good-bye to my mother. Maybe because she’d never given a damn about me.
The hurt might come later, but I could deal with it. What I couldn’t handle was spending one more moment of my life letting her control me in any way. I couldn’t continue to twist myself inside out for the rest of my life looking for parental approval that would never come. After intensive counseling, and seeing the Sinclair siblings together, I finally understood what a family should be.
“Do you mean that?” Seth asked as his eyes drilled into my face.
I nodded. “I do. I really do. I love the woman I am now. And I do know exactly where I belong.”
“And where might that be?” he asked gently.
I dropped a gentle kiss on his lips before I murmured, “With you. Always with you.”
“Damn straight,” he rumbled in agreement, right before he kissed me.
CHAPTER 27
RILEY
“My period is late,” I said bluntly to my nurse-practitioner, Layla, as I sat half-naked on her exam table.
I’d only taken four of my placebo pills so far, but I was never late. At all. Ever.