When I hear it stop for a second, I pull her back over my shoulder and let her feet touch the ground. Immediately, she tries to run, so I pull her into my chest, her face away from me, and I lock her arms in tightly.
“Uh uh. Time to face the music,” I say, and on the perfect cue the outfield sprinklers kick on, soaking her body, hair, and shorts with every pass. I’m soaking wet too, but I don’t care. I would walk through fire to hold her in front of me like this. And then, a remarkable thing happens.
I let my arms loosen their grip, and Rowe slips away from me, but she doesn’t run. She just stretches her arms out to her sides and looks up, her hair dripping wet, and her face glistening from the water beading up on her skin. She starts spinning slowly in a circle, laughing. And then it’s there—the smile. The same look she had on her face in that picture. It’s joy. And I just gave it to her.
My god, do I want to give it to her again.
Rowe
The water is so cold that I start to shiver, but I don’t care. I keep spinning and laughing. Maybe I’m having a nervous breakdown. Whatever this is, I don’t care—I feel free and honestly happy. A real moment of happiness, uninterrupted, and Nate just stands there watching me and waiting.
His smile is spectacular. He’s like those faces I see in my magazines, when I flip through ads of people in love. The way the man looks at a woman in the perfume ads—that’s his face, right now, for me. I don’t want it to go away, but I know it has to, and the second I start to let my reality creep in, my happiness fades.
I stop spinning, but I force my smile to stay in place, because I don’t want to go back to those other feelings just yet.
“You’re beautiful; you know that?” My breath is gone with his words. Nate can’t think I’m beautiful. I’m not—I’m scarred and ugly.
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?” I ask, my posture dipping, and my hands coming back to that familiar place around my waist, squeezing tightly.
“Don’t refuse to listen to me,” he says, stepping closer. I step back, but with every two I take, he takes three, until he’s touching me, his hands gripping my elbows. “You’re freezing.”
“I’m fine,” I say, not wanting this moment to end. I’m so terrified of it—so unbelievably afraid of this conversation continuing. But I haven’t wanted anything in so long. And right now, all I want is this—this time right now, alone with Nate.
His hands slide up my arms to my neck, and soon his hands are cradling my face. My teeth are chattering, but I’m begging them to behave. I can feel Nate’s breath he’s so close to me, and for a moment, I think he might kiss me. Instead, he steps back and pulls his long-sleeved shirt over his body and slips it around my head, holding it out for me to tuck my arms inside.
“Thank you,” I say, my lips still quivering, partly from the cold and partly from my desire to be kissed.
“Well, it is sort of my fault. I ran you through the sprinklers,” he says, reaching his arm around me and pulling me into his side. We walk through the field, our feet squishing in the grass.
“Are we supposed to be out here?” I ask, noticing the deep feet prints we’re leaving in our wake.
“Oh god no. I’m going to get my ass chewed, too. There are cameras all over the place. I bet security is on it’s way right now.”
I start to pick up my pace, my heart thumping with panic now. But then his laugh registers, and I stop. “Not nice,” I say.
“I know. I’m kidding. There are no cameras. We’re probably not supposed to be here, but no one will know.”
We climb over a small pony wall into the dug out, and Nate reaches for my hand to help me down. His hands are somehow warm, despite everything on my body feeling so cold. I want to hold his hand, feel my fingers intertwine with his, but his touch leaves me as soon as my feet meet the ground. And I can’t ignore the sharp pain it causes in my heart.
The dugout bench is wide; I sit sideways on it, pulling my knees up to hug them closely to me. I tuck my legs into his shirt for a bit, trying to warm the rest of my body. Nate sits in front of me, crossing his legs and tugging at my shoelaces.
“I meant what I said, you know,” he says, looking up at me with one eyebrow raised. “That you’re beautiful?”
Sucking in my bottom lip to hide the smile on my face, I nod once and whisper “Thank you.”
“Oh Nate, and by the way, I find you incredibly handsome,” he says, putting on his best female voice to imitate me. I laugh and stare down into my lap, not knowing what to say next.