I could see all the bones in her arms and legs. I could see ribs underneath the regulation white t-shirt that the entire crew of patients here wore. Her eyes, before she’d looked away, had deep, dark bags underneath them.
Compared to Tara’s shining, bleached platinum-blonde hair, not-Tara’s had a soft golden brown to it. At least at the top. About halfway to the top, I could tell that her hair had once been bleached and dyed—as if appearing to look more like a certain platinum blonde at one point in time. But she’d either let it grow out on purpose, or she hadn’t been able to make it to the hairdresser in a while.
The latter was likely the reason. I had a feeling that the girl sitting in front of me liked her control…yet never got to get it.
And the goddamn tears. The ones that had happened last time with her sitting on the bed years ago? That was how I knew this was the same woman as then.
This woman and that woman were one and the same.
What I was confused on, however, was if this woman that was sitting in front of me and that woman were completely separate from Tara—different people entirely—or if they were the same. Only, Tara had multiple personalities.
But then I thought about the kid that came with Tyson—Tyson who had been adamant about disliking Tara—and Matias being near the same age. They had to be. That girl was about five years old, and with Matias being four when he died a year ago, that meant that the little girl and Matias would’ve been very close in age.
But my gut was leaning toward not-Tara and Tara being two different people.
A feeling that stuck with me as I watched the woman hold her hand out and stroke the dog’s fur.
When the tears finally stopped, I couldn’t stop myself from saying, “What’s your name, darlin’?”
Her eyes found mine, and I sucked in a breath for a different reason this time.
God, those eyes. So fuckin’ beautiful.
“Theo,” she answered hesitantly. “My name is Theo. Theodora, really.”
What I did not see there was any type of understanding. Of dots that were connecting.
She had no clue who I was.
No clue that I knew the other her. The other her that was an awful person and was fucked in her head.
No, this really couldn’t be the same woman.
I’d see something, right? I’d be able to tell that she knew me. I spent years living beside that nasty woman. There was no way on God’s green Earth that this woman and that woman were the same. Even if it would make sense.
I offered the woman my hand and said, “My name is Josiah, but my friends call me Liner.”
She took it hesitantly for all of two seconds, then dropped it like I’d had something slimy on my hand.
I looked down at my hand and only saw the calluses from work and lifting weights there.
Deciding to change the subject before she got uncomfortable again, I blurted out the first thought that came to my mind.
“Monster’s really good about laying there and getting pets,” I said, leaning back in my seat and stretching my long legs out in front of me. “Did you have a pet growing up?”
She looked like she’d love to tell me something but thought differently of it.
“No,” she said softly. “I had a baby squirrel once, but my sister found it and threw it into the garbage.”
Her hand covered her mouth as if she hadn’t meant to say so much.
Ignoring the way I wanted to pull her into my arms, I changed the subject. “What’s your favorite kind of music to listen to?”
Her face shuttered. “I don’t get to listen to much music in here.”
Was there anything she did get to do while she was in here?
I’d have to look at the rules to see what I was and wasn’t allowed to do while I was here. Like bring my fuckin’ speaker next time and play her some goddamn music.
I didn’t even have my phone with me, so I couldn’t pull it out and play it.
It was only when another half an hour had passed of our idle chit-chat that I realized that we’d gone over my allotted time by fifteen minutes.
“Shoot,” I said as I looked at the multitude of faces that were aimed our way. “It’s time for us to go, Theo. I’m getting the stink eye from no less than four people.”
She didn’t bother to look around like anybody else would have.
It was as if she were more than aware of what was happening around her, yet didn’t seem to care.
“That’s fine,” she said softly, her eyes looking sort of heartbroken to see Monster leaving. “Thank you for letting me pet him.”
I winked at her and shouldered my bag.