Three, I just wanted to be able to sleep with her every night.
I wanted the whole thing.
With Delanie.
I knew deep down that she was it for me.
I just didn’t want to freak her out or scare her when I told her I wanted forever.
Which was why, for now, I was going to keep it quiet.
When the time was right, I’d tell her just how deep my feelings for her were. I wanted what she hinted at with her father. Marriage, a house and babies.
Because I knew she felt the same for me.
She was just too afraid to admit it.
Plus, with her business taking off and the shit with her father, I didn’t think it was necessary to put even more things onto her plate.
“Unit 38, I have a report of a vehicle burning. Witnesses say that a white male, mid-forties, torched the truck with a bottle and a lit rag. Also carrying a gun.”
She then proceeded to give me an address.
Since there was a potential volatile criminal on the scene, I’d have to go clear it before fire and rescue could come in.
But when I arrived, the only thing that was there was the burning truck and the obvious smell of cooking meat.
I looked at the car in revulsion.
It was a white pickup. But since the truck was so engulfed with the flames, I didn’t see the newness. Or the wheels and tires.
I saw flames.
It was only after the flames were extinguished that a whisper of knowing started to course through me.
And even then, it wasn’t until I was right up on it and saw the fuckin’ handcuffs hanging from the rearview mirror that it finally dawned on me.
“Jason!”
***
“Hey, Bourne. I haven’t been able to get ahold of you. Is everything okay?”
I was numb.
Jason was dead, and I’d just told his brand-new wife, Ellie, that he wouldn’t be coming home again.
“I’m… I’m okay,” I finally said, rubbing my hands through my hair. “Are y’all done?”
“Yes, and it’s good news and bad news. The doctor we saw thinks that Asa is suffering from migraines,” she said. “They gave us some meds to try. They also taught Asa some techniques to try and to start focusing on what causes his headaches. Once we can pinpoint that, and then what makes them better, we can focus on some more specific medications, and possibly some avoidance tactics.”
I scrubbed my hand down my face. “That’s really good to hear.”
Ellie’s screams kept replaying in my ear, and I felt a headache of my own start forming behind my eyes.
“We’re on the way home now,” Delanie said softly. “We’re probably going to be late, though. The traffic here is abominable. And Asa’s already complaining about being hungry. Plus, Booth promised him we would stop by Buc-cee’s on the way home if he was good. I’m sure we’re going to get roped into going there.”
“We are!” Asa cried from the background. “Hi, Uncle Bourne! I love you!”
The smile that graced my lips right then was the first one in over four hours.
“Love you, too, Bud,” I said. “Buy me a drink and some cheddar popcorn. It’s the bomb.”
I heard Asa’s ready agreement, then Delanie say, “I thought he was asleep. I was hoping he’d forget.”
“I didn’t forget!” Asa cried.
I looked down at my boot and saw that it was black and charred.
When had that happened?
I thought back to that moment that I realized the man in the truck was my friend.
A man that I’d just seen get married.
A man that, I’d found out today, was going to be a father. At least, he’d wanted to be, anyway. They’d decided to start trying the day they’d gotten home from their honeymoon. She could be pregnant at this very moment, and Jason wouldn’t get to see his baby grow up.
If that didn’t gut me the moment she’d said it…
“…Bourne.”
I blinked, surprised to see that I’d drifted off.
“I’m sorry, what?” I cleared my throat. “I was walking to my cruiser.”
“I said that I’m going to let you get back to work,” she said. “I just wanted to tell you how the appointment went since I knew that you were wondering about it.”
I hadn’t been. But not because I didn’t care, but because I just hadn’t had time to be curious how it went.
I was glad to know that Asa was going to be okay.
“All right,” I said softly. “Y’all be careful, okay?”
“We will.” Then, very softly to the point where I almost didn’t hear her, she said, “Love you, Bourne.”
Then she hung up, not giving me a chance to reply. I felt a burn in my gut as a very unwelcome thought flowed through me.
What if one day I left her like Jason left his girl?
Would she be okay? Or would she completely freak out the way that Ellie had today?
I didn’t like thinking about it, and I certainly didn’t like replaying that scream in my head, but it was something that I couldn’t get out of my head now that the thought had been planted.