I had no idea he felt like this.
“Derek,” I said softly.
“I’ve been waiting for weeks for you to ask me to go with you to prom,” he continued. “Yet you never did. So, I thought you just didn’t want to go. I mean, I’ve given you your space. I’ve let you do things your way. I figured if you wanted to go, you’d ask. But you didn’t. Why didn’t you ask?”
I felt lower than low.
“Because I thought you wouldn’t want to go,” I repeated. “Derek, it’s a stupid dance with teenagers. Why would I think you’d want to go?”
I mean, if I’d honestly thought he’d want to go, I would’ve totally asked him. I would’ve asked and been proud to have him at my side.
But he’d backed off a lot over these last few weeks. He hadn’t been helping me near as much. Hadn’t been forcing me to take the rides.
And now I knew why.
He wanted me to be in control of my life and if that included doing things on my own, he was going to let me. Even if it sucked to do it.
“I can’t necessarily say it would’ve been comfortable,” he said. “But I would’ve gone. For you.”
Now I really felt lower than low.
“I wanted you to come with me,” I said softly. “I wanted you to come, and I wanted you to take me to school. I wanted you to tell me not to go when I moved back into my own place. I wanted you… and I felt like I was taking advantage. I felt like I was making you do things you didn’t want to be doing. I mean, you said you liked me. You didn’t say you wanted to play parent for me.”
“It’s not playing parent,” Derek disagreed. “It’s caring. I care about you, Avery.”
I felt my heart start speeding up.
God, he looked so handsome in a suit.
And his eyes.
His eyes did things to me. Even when they were angry and aimed at me.
I sighed and dropped my head into my hands.
“I don’t want you to care about me,” I admitted. “I want you to want me.”
I heard him move then.
Startled, I looked up to find him only inches away.
“You think that I don’t want you?” he asked.
I groaned.
“Derek…”
“I’ve wanted you since I saw you at the fuckin’ police station taking my picture with my shirt off,” he growled. “You asked me out on a date, and I wanted nothing more than to say yes.”
I swallowed hard.
“Your cute little shirts, and your tight ass leggings,” he hissed. “You shouldn’t wear those to school.”
I blinked.
“What?”
“Because I can see every goddamn inch of your ass,” he continued. “It makes me hard, Avery. I’m hard all goddamn day long. From the moment that I see you, to the moment that I don’t. All I have to do is think about you, about your hair or your lips, and I’m there. And I care. I fucking care a lot. I care that you’re hurting. I care that you keep getting kicked when you’re already down. I care, and I want you, and I don’t ever see that ending.”
I felt tears forming in my throat.
“You haven’t shown me…”
“I haven’t shown you because you almost broke your goddamn neck, Avery,” he said. “I was scared to death I was going to break you. I don’t want to break you. I want to fix you. I want to love you. I want to care for you. I want to take you to goddamn school. I want to help you unpack boxes. I want you in my house and on my couch. I want you in my room. I want your shampoo and conditioner bottles taking up every available inch of my shower. Your underwear mixed in with my clothes. I. Want. You.”
My heart felt like it was about to burst straight out of my chest.
“Derek…”
He moved until his body was pressed against mine.
So close that I could feel his breath on my lips.
“I. Want. You,” he continued. “I choose you.”
Then he kissed me.
He held onto my head, supported my neck, and kissed me.
I didn’t pull away. I didn’t do a single thing but let him kiss me.
And kiss me, he did.
He kissed me so hard and long that when he finally pulled back, both of us were gasping for air.
His eyes stayed locked on mine for long moments, then he looked down the length of my body. His eyes taking in my dress, my pebbled nipples through the thin material, and then moved lower until he could see where our hips were only inches apart.
I would’ve done the same, but he’d never let go of my head.
When his eyes finally returned to mine, it was with resolve in them.
I could tell that he was about to pull away. Knew that if I didn’t do something, yet again, he’d be taking a step back.