I stiffened with surprise at this less restrained side of him in bed and Nino grew rigid at once, eyes searching mine in concern.
I tangled my fingers in his hair and kissed him back to show I was only startled. Nino kissed me hard then pushed two fingers into me. His eyes never left mine as he claimed me. This wasn’t love-making. It was fueled by his erratic emotions, hard and fast. Nino’s body caged me in as he pressed down, and I surrendered to him gladly, even as he grabbed my wrists in one of his hands and pushed them above my head.
Not a flicker of discomfort entered my mind. Looking into Nino’s eyes always assured him I wasn’t distressed and I could trust him absolutely. I allowed him to control me because I could tell he felt like he was losing control of his emotions, maybe even himself.
After we both came, I lay sprawled out on my back, my arms still above my head even though Nino had already released them and rolled off me. Ever since I’d stopped taking the pill every time Nino came inside of me felt monumentally different, important, which was ridiculous, but wonderful at the same time.
Nino’s chest was heaving as he frowned at the ceiling. Slowly he turned to me, stroking wrists and forearms until I put them back down. His eyes filled with one unmistakable question.
“I’m fine.”
Nino didn’t stop frowning. “Did it bother you that I restrained you?”
“No, I knew you’d never do anything I was uncomfortable with.” I propped myself up on his strong chest then gripped his arm and kissed the spot where my name was tattooed on his wrist. “Do you prefer this kind of sex?”
Nino tilted his head, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully. “No, not in general. At least, not with you. I enjoy the gentle, slower sex with you just as much as I did this.”
“So do I. I didn’t think I’d like it but I guess with you I enjoy everything we do.”
Nino gave a small smile. “We’ve got a lot to discover.”
I laughed. “Is there anything you haven’t done?”
“No, I’ve explored every sexual act I was remotely interested in.”
For a second, I felt the urge to ask for details, but then I decided it was better if I didn’t know everything.
“Does that bother you?” Nino asked.
I thought about it. When C.J. told me she’d slept with Nino, it had briefly bothered me, but that faded quickly. Nino had probably slept with every whore in the sex clubs of the Camorra, not that I had asked. “No, it doesn’t really. I know you’re mine now and that’s all that matters.”
“I’ve never been anyone else’s, Kiara. The women of my past, I didn’t see them. They were there, but they might as well have not been. There’s only you, all I’ve ever felt is only for you.”
I put my chin down on his chest, closing my eyes. “This is too perfect. I’m always waiting for something bad to happen and take it away. It seems too good.”
Nino touched the back of my head. “Nobody’s going to take it away. I won’t allow it. I’ll kill everyone who dares to destroy what we have.”
We were silent for a while. I still wanted to talk to Nino about Adamo, even though it would mean breaking the moment. “Can I say something regarding your mother?”
Nino stiffened. “Of course, you can always say what’s on your mind.”
I lifted my head, needing to see his expression. It was perfectly emotionless, the beautiful cold mask he wore so often.
“Maybe you and Remo should reconsider how you handle Adamo’s wish to see your mother.” Nino’s eyes flashed and I quickly went on. “I know you worry how he’ll handle it, but if you allow him to live with a fantasy of how she might be, that could cause more damage than letting him see the truth. You can’t keep this from him. He’s been a Made Man for almost six months now and he’s been trying to do what you and Remo expect of him. He isn’t a kid anymore. If he wants to see your mother, you should give him the chance. It isn’t Remo’s and your decision alone.”
Nino’s face locked down, his eyes the cold mercury I remembered from the beginning of our relationship. “Remo won’t ever allow it. He wants to protect Adamo and Savio from our mother.”
“Has Savio ever visited her?”
“No, he never wanted to. He prefers to live in the present and not dwell in the past.”
I wondered if it was true. If Savio could really move on that easily from something that disturbing. He had been very young then but he lived in the same mansion with his mother until they all moved to England.
“Nino,” I said imploringly. “If you don’t give him the chance, he’ll always wonder what she’s like. It’ll haunt him.”