I could tell he had wanted to use a different term, but he chose to soften his words for my benefit. My chest warmed at his consideration. Despite who he was, Nino would always represent safety for me.
“I know every spot on your body that will increase your arousal. If you let me, I’ll make you come again and again.”
I swallowed audibly. My core seemed to liquefy, throbbing with a need I hardly understood.
He tapped my wrist. “Fear?”
I laughed nervously because right now fear was only a small flicker in the corners of my consciousness. “No,” I admitted in the softest whisper.
Nino waited patiently for me to say more. As my eyes grew used to the dark, I could make out the outline of his strong shoulders. He was facing me, breathing calmly, relaxed. Those words … didn’t they affect him?
“Arousal?”
I gave a nod, not sure if he could see it.
“Good,” came his low voice.
I shivered. “And you?”
“Are you asking if I’m aroused?”
I nodded.
“I am,” he said.
My pulse really started racing. “Kiara?”
“Both,” I said quickly, because I was equally scared and aroused by his admittance.
“What can I do to banish your fear?”
“Nothing,” I said, because deep down I knew it was a battle I had to fight on my own. “But I want to try something.”
“Okay,” he said slowly.
“Can we kiss without you being restrained?”
“Of course. Now?”
“Yeah,” I said quietly and scooted a bit closer to him until his warm breath fanned over my face and the sheer volume of heat radiating from his body told me how big he was, how much taller and stronger.
I caught the hint of alcohol on his breath, something smoky and spicy. “You smell like … bourbon?”
“I had a glass,” he said. “But you don’t have to be concerned. It’s not enough to lower my inhibitions. Not even close.”
“I’m not concerned about that.” I leaned closer until his face hovered right in front of me, and then I bridged the remaining distance between us and pressed my lips to his. He waited a couple of seconds before he increased the pressure, and his tongue slipped between my lips, exploring my mouth. His fingertips moved up from my wrist, stroking the soft skin of my forearm, the crook of my elbow, then a little higher before trailing back down. Finally, his thumb pressed against my wrist again.
He did it because he needed it to read me better, to make sure he noticed when I felt overwhelmed or scared. That realization did a strange thing to my heart.
We kissed for a long time, and I started to feel hot between my legs. Nino’s kisses were incredible, overwhelming; he led easily without making me feel like I was under his control. His breathing deepened ever so slightly as his mouth slid over mine, and the friction sent a new surge of heat through my core. I squirmed, pressing my thighs together. If Nino noticed, he didn’t react, but his grip on my wrist tightened the slightest bit.
I put my free hand up against his naked chest and felt his muscles flex beneath my fingertips. His skin was covered with scars, and I began tracing them curiously until I accidentally grazed over his nipple. He groaned into my mouth, jerking slightly, and the motion caused something hard dig into my thigh.
I froze against him. Fear and my own arousal battled within my body. He had told me he was aroused, but feeling it made things more real.
He stopped kissing me and took a deep breath. “Tell me how you feel.”
“I’m okay.”
“That’s not a feeling.”
“I’m feeling okay,” I said again with more force. “Only startled.”
“Maybe we should stop, then.”
I didn’t want to stop, but maybe Nino was right. Even if my body screamed for more, I wasn’t sure if I could actually handle it. I felt … overwhelmed again. “You’re right.”
He released my wrist and rolled over onto his back, farther away from me. A gaping hole opened in my stomach. I swallowed hard once then a second time. I knew I told Nino I didn’t need him to fake affection, but maybe I was wrong.
Nino’s head shifted toward me. “You are upset again.”
I wasn’t sure how he’d noticed this time. Maybe my breathing had changed again.
“I … I changed my mind about the simulated affection.” I was treading across a dangerous path. Living a lie wasn’t something I wanted to do, but with Nino it was all I could have. Maybe simulated affection was better than nothing.
“Okay,” he said quietly. He angled his body toward me. “Would you like to fall asleep in my arms?”
My throat tightened. I didn’t say anything and moved closer to him. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me against him. His touch was light, never like a cage, always considerate. Stupid tears gathered in my eyes as I rested my cheek against his strong chest. His heart beat a calm rhythm. Did it ever speed up? Did it ever clench when he looked at me like mine sometimes did when I looked at him or like it had when I realized he always touched my wrist to make sure I was all right.