I looked away, unable to bear his cold beauty. Turning around, I was about to leave when he stepped in my way. My eyes flew back up to him.
“Answer me, Kiara. Is that what you suggest?”
Sighing, I nodded. “I know how things are. I know your clubs are filled with willing women, but yes, I want you to be faithful to me. I can’t explore physical closeness with you as long as you see other women.”
“You realize that you can’t explore your sexuality with anyone but me.”
“Is that so?” I wasn’t sure why I said that.
And for once, Nino let his expression become the one most people knew, one of dominance and suppressed violence. “It is. I won’t ever push you past your boundaries, but just because I haven’t claimed your body with my cock yet doesn’t mean I haven’t laid claim on you. You are mine. Mine alone. And for as long as I live, no one will touch you but me.”
It was the least restrained I’d ever seen him, and it reminded me of the man he really was. I felt overwhelmed and on the verge of taking flight.
Nino let out a harsh breath and took a step back from me then sank down on the chair.
I blinked. Was he making himself small on purpose? He was watching me closely.
“Better?” he asked quietly, in control again.
“Yes.”
“I didn’t want to scare you.”
“Didn’t we agree on no lies?” I asked teasingly.
Nino’s mouth twitched. “We did. And you are right to some extent. I knew you’d yield to my view of things if I exerted dominance, and given your history, I could foresee how it would make you feel. But it wasn’t a conscious decision to scare you.”
“Okay.”
His brows pulled together. “When I first suggested satisfying my sexual drive elsewhere, you were relieved.”
Back to the topic at hand. Nino never let himself be distracted.
“I was, but I don’t want that anymore. I want us to have a real marriage.”
“Isn’t this a real marriage? It’s official, after all.”
I shook my head. “That’s not what I mean. I want a normal marriage. For me that means being faithful and being intimate only with your partner. It means taking care of each other, showing affection, trying to love each other.” The last slipped out because it was something I wanted deep down inside.
Nino pushed to his feet again and moved closer. “I can be faithful and I can show you affection …”
“But you can’t love, I know.”
Nino startled me by cupping my cheeks, his eyes warmer, his expression softer than ever before. “I can simulate emotions very well, Kiara. If it helps you feel more comfortable, I can fake affection and even love.”
I peered up at him. Without his words, I would have believed the tenderness on his face to be real. I swallowed hard. “Don’t pretend to care for me. Don’t lie.”
His expression became one of cold beauty again, and my heart clenched tightly. “I want to take care of you, and even if I can’t feel emotions, seeing them on your face, particularly happiness and joy, give me a certain level of satisfaction. I can’t give you more than that.”
“Okay,” I whispered, because there was nothing else to say. It had to be enough. I’d expected so much less out of this union, and so much worse. I couldn’t hold it against Nino that he couldn’t feel.
“Would you like to go inside now?”
“I don’t think I’m in the mood for exploring anymore,” I said quietly.
He tilted his head. “I understand.”
“Maybe later?” I asked quietly.
“Of course,” he said. “How about I get dressed and we practice your shooting skills some more.”
For him it was always easy to move on because no topic ever moved him so much his brain couldn’t proceed, but I didn’t want to make a bigger deal out of this than it was so I nodded.
He returned thirty minutes later in black pants and a black shirt, his go-to clothes. I had seen him in similar clothes so often before, and yet the sight got to me today. He looked tall and strong and graceful, and the tattoos on his arms created just the right contrast to his perfectly beautiful face.
Two guns hung from the holster strapped to his chest, but I knew he hid more weapons on his body. I had become a better shot over the course of our last few lessons, but today my concentration was frayed.
A few hours later, I sat in our living room and played the song I’d started working on almost six weeks ago. It was a song that helped me deal with my marriage with Nino, helped me understand my feelings toward the man. The breeze streamed in through the windows, and I breathed deeply. I missed the scent of ocean in the air, but Las Vegas’ warmth felt good. I didn’t feel constantly cold anymore.